Falling silent when asked 'What is your dream for the future?' doesn't mean you have no dreams; it just means you haven't seen anything yet [Thinking about children's educational environments Part 3]

In this five-part series, we are re-examining Japan's educational environment and considering the value of middle and high school students studying abroad.
This is the third installment.

Last time, we discussed the circumstances of parents who cannot get off the exam track even though they know it is exhausting, but this time, it is about the "dreams" of the children walking on that track.

The moment your child falls silent when asked "What is your dream for the future?" during a three-way parent-teacher conference

"Is there anything you want to do in the future?"
"...Not really."

Whether it's at a three-way conference, on a career survey form, or when asked by relatives during the New Year holidays, the answer that comes back is usually the same, isn't it?
As a parent, you start to feel a little anxious.

Maybe this child isn't thinking about anything at all.
Maybe they have no motivation.
Maybe other children are more grounded.

But I have never once thought that children's silence was a "problem of motivation."

There is a clear reason why they cannot answer.

This time, I would like to look at that reason by tracing a day in the life of a child.

The number one dream for middle school students is "to make what I love my job." By high school, it changes to "a stable daily life."

There is a somewhat sad result in a survey of middle and high school students' awareness.

When middle school students were asked about their future dreams, the number one answer was "to make what I love my job."
As for the professions they want to enter, the number one choice for boys is IT engineer or programmer.
The reason is "because I like games."

The number one choice for girls is entertainment work such as singer, actor, or voice actor, and the reason is "because I want to be a model."

All of these are answers that came from their own "likes," not from the evaluations of others, aren't they?

However, when they become high school students, the number one spot changes.

"Living a stable daily life" is number one, and second is "living a life enriched by hobbies."
As for the professions they want to enter, civil servant rises to number one.

Choose stability for work, and keep what you love outside of work.
That kind of line-drawing becomes clearly apparent once they reach high school.

In just a few years, something changes within the children.
You could say they have seen reality and become adults.

But to me, it looks like they are giving up before they even increase their options, and I can't help but feel that way.

What we are talking about in career counseling is, in the end, only "where can I go with my current scores?"

Schools have plenty of time to think about career paths.
But what actually ends up on the desk is mock exam results and deviation score charts.

"With these grades, you can aim for this high school."
"This one is a bit tough, so let's keep a backup option that's a little lower."

This is a consultation about "where to go to school," not a consultation about "career paths".

This is because deciding where to go to school only means choosing one waypoint in life.

Ideally, we would want to think about "What do you want to do in the future?" first. But in reality, it's the other way around: we decide on a place we can get into, and then find reasons to justify it afterward.
That is what the process has become.

That is why when suddenly asked, "What is your dream for the future?", many middle and high school students freeze up.
It is not that they haven't thought about it.

They just haven't been given the time or the materials to think about it.

What your child thinks of as a "dream" exists only within their parents, teachers, friends, and smartphone.

This is the point I most want to convey this time.

People can only choose their future from among the things they have seen.

The occupations and ways of life that middle and high school students know are things they have "happened" to see or hear about from their parents, school teachers, friends, and on TV or the internet.
It doesn't go beyond a few things within that range.

Moreover, smartphone screens only show more of what you are currently interested in.
For a child who likes games, game videos keep flowing; for a child who likes music, information about music keeps flowing, endlessly.

Incidentally, in the same survey, when middle and high school students were asked what gives them a sense of purpose, the number one answer for boys was games, and for girls, it was music, followed by supporting their favorite idols.

They are properly creating a place for their hearts that has nothing to do with school grades.
I think that is a very healthy thing.

However, that place for their hearts is also, after all, inside the screen.

The amount of information is incomparable to when we were middle and high school students.
But if you ask whether the world they see has actually expanded, that is not really the case.

An increase in the amount of information and a change in one's own options are completely different things.

Waking up at 6:30 AM and going to bed at 11:00 PM. At what point in this day do they encounter a new version of themselves?

Let's look at this a bit more concretely.

Waking up at 6:30 AM and leaving the house at 7:30 AM.
Taking 6 to 7 hours of classes at school, and if there is club activity, until the evening.
Moving from there to cram school, and returning home at 9:00 or 10:00 PM.
Once dinner, bathing, and homework are done, it's already time to sleep.

The adults they meet in this day are their parents, school teachers, and cram school teachers.
It's basically these three types.
Their destinations are also just the commute between home, school, and cram school.

To be honest, I think it is unreasonableto be told to 'find what you love' or 'decide what you want to do in the future' from within this daily routine.

It is not that the child is slacking off.
The opportunity to encounter new things (or people) is simply not providedwithin their day.

No one is moved by looking at a utility pole and thinking, 'What amazing technology.' Things we are used to seeing become invisible.

Humans have a wonderful ability to adapt to their environment.
However, that ability also has side effects.

You don't look at utility poles along the road and get moved every time, thinking, 'What amazing technology!', do you?
Even when you see cars driving by, you don't think, 'What a revolutionary invention.'
Because even things that surprised us at first disappear from our field of vision the moment we get used to them.

And the same thing is happening to ourselves.

When you do the same things, with the same people, in the same place every day, you stop feeling anything about what is inside you.
The framework of 'this is the kind of person I am' ends up solidifying before you know it.

Therefore, no matter how much you dig into the person's inner self, you won't find an answer.

It is better to question the place where you are standing rather than the place you are digging.
That is what I think.

It is not that 'my child has no merits,' but that the only places they encounter merits are home, school, and cram school.

In the last few years, the experience itself has become material for evaluation. Lessons, travel, and activities in nature are all being chosen based on 'whether it will be useful in the future.'

Even experiences that should be the most free are being measured by whether they are advantageous or disadvantageous.

When this happens, children can never leave the places where they are being graded. Even the things they like become material to show someone else.

'My child doesn't really have any particular merits.'
This is a phrase I hear very often during consultations.

But I have never met a child without merits.

Merits are not something parents give or cultivate, but something that is found from the other side when you stand in a world you don't know.

The problem is not the person's ability, but the fact that the only places they encounter are home, school, and cram school.

If that is the case, the thing that needs to change is not the child, but the place where that child is standing.

Next time, we will finally get to the main topic.
What happens to a child when they stand in a classroom where no one knows their deviation score? This is an installment I want those who think 'Study abroad is just for English, right?' to read.

'Study abroad' is where middle and high school students can have experiences that shake their values to the core.

Triggered by my daughter's high school study abroad (three years at a Canadian high school), I have thought about various things as a parent and have had many conversations as a family.

And over these past eight years, while sharing information on platforms like YouTube, I have been supporting all of you who harbor similar anxieties and questions.

I have compiled all of that experience into one form and published the book 'Study Abroad for Junior and Senior High Students: A Book That Expands Your Self and Your Future Every Time You Learn'!

From the basics of studying abroad to English proficiency, anxieties about daily life, and questions from parents, I speak honestly and without holding anything back.
Please be sure to pick up a copy.

Also, for those who want to seriously start preparing for study abroad from now on, or who want to consult about specific plans or local information, we are also accepting free consultations and free counseling sessions.

Study Abroad Papa, who has experience studying at a university in the U.S. and has supported his daughter's high school study abroad as a parent, and Erin, who studied abroad at a Canadian high school from the age of 15 with zero English proficiency, will think through your anxieties and questions together with you.

We will never force anything on you or insist that studying abroad is the only option.
Please feel free to send us a message.

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