“For those who couldn't think of ‘What should I do in that moment?’—Park troubles and ‘preparing your words’” Part 2
Last time,
まじでありえない。まだむかついてる。息子がお砂場で、急に知らん子(5〜6歳？)に顔面からバケツで水ぶっかけられた。意味不明すぎて私内心ブチギレるも冷静に、お水かかったんだけど？って聞いても無視。お母さんは？って聞いても無視。お母さんとお話したいんだけど。って言っても
— ぴい🐰☺︎3y🧸+1y🎀 (@mxtanimx) April 3, 2025
Triggered by this post, I started thinking about how to prepare your words for park troubles. In this second part, I will talk about the decision of whether to report it or not.
■ To report or not? It is actually natural to be hesitant
Reading this far, I'm sure many of you are thinking, “Maybe I should have reported it after all,” or “But I don't want to make a big deal out of it...”
That is completely understandable.
It's okay, that is “normal.”
Being hesitant is proof that you care about “not wanting to break relationships” or “not wanting to hurt anyone.”
That is actually asincere way to be hesitant.
■ “Three axes” to help you decide
So, how should you decide amidst that hesitation?
I think it becomes a bit easier to organize your thoughts if you look at the following three points in a balanced way.
1. Safety (Is there danger here right now?)
Did someone get hurt? Was there shouting or violence? Is the atmosphere around you unstable?
Is this happening repeatedly? Is it likely to escalate?
2. Relationship (Can you talk to the other person? Is there trust?)
Was the atmosphere such that you could communicate with the parent?
Conversely, would talking make things worse? Is there a possibility that you or your child would be at a disadvantage?
3. Community/Environment (The context of the situation)
Trends in how the local government handles things (Are they quick to respond? Do they tend to ignore it?)
Does the community have a “watchful eye”? Would reporting it be counterproductive?
If you have “clear anxiety about even one” of these three axes, I think
you don't need to hesitate to report or seek advice.
■ Choosing not to report is also a “valid decision”
On the other hand—
You spoke up. The situation calmed down. The other person's reaction wasn't that bad.
But, you still have a nagging feeling in your heart.
In those cases,the decision to “not report right now” is also a perfectly valid decision.
Just leave a note.
Share it with your family.
Prepare yourself so you can act immediately if a similar situation happens next time.
That, too, is an important action of “not getting angry, but still protecting.”
■ It’s better to have “prepared words” before “emotions”
Trouble always comes suddenly.
Without even giving us time to compose ourselves,
we have to choose something the moment something precious is hurt.
But, whether you can bring out “words” instead of “anger” there,
I think that becomes a “shield” that protects you and your child.
■ Finally, words I want to tell my past self on that day
“I couldn't get angry,” “I couldn't say anything.”
If there is anyone who still blames their past self for that day—
this is what I want to tell you.
If you were truly hesitant,
that is already proof that you “tried to protect.”
And,
I hope that next time, you will have even one more “prepared word” ready.
I believe that a day will surely come when that will protect what is precious to you,
without you having to use your anger.
✍️ In closing
This essay is not meant to encourage reporting.
It is not meant to say you shouldn't get angry.
It’s just that,I wanted to tell you, who were hesitant on the spot, that there are other options available for next time,so I wrote this because I wished someone had told me that back then.
Thank you so much for reading this far.
I’ve said quite a lot, but I hope this article becomes a support for you if you are struggling somewhere!
#ParkTrouble #ParentingWorries #DealingWithParents #ShouldIReport #ChildConsultationCenter #ChildSafety #ProtectWithWords #CommunicateWithoutAnger #SupportingMomsAndDads #WroteOnNote