Red Berries, My First Lie, and a Secret

The story "The Red Berries Burst" was in our Japanese textbook.
It is a story about a young girl who, at a certain moment when she sees a childhood friend, feels as if something has burst inside her chest.
The teacher explained that this was "love."

However, as an elementary school student, I didn't get it.
That was because I had never felt that way even once.

"Hey, do you like anyone?"

Once I reached the upper grades of elementary school, I was asked that question more often.
Everyone around me was excited about romance, and it felt like that was the norm.
But to me, it felt like something happening in a completely different world.

"A boy I like? I've never even thought about that."

That was my honest feeling.

One day, a close friend asked me, "Who do you like?" and I immediately replied, "No one."

Then, my friend looked at me with a puzzled expression and said,
"What, that's impossible! Everyone likes someone."

It was as if she were telling me, "It's strange that you don't like anyone."
Because almost everyone in the class had mentioned someone's name.

"I won't tell anyone, so tell me!"

The moment she said that, I felt like I had nowhere to run.
Even though there was no one, for some reason, it became difficult to keep saying "no one."

"Well then... Nao-kun."

On impulse, I said the name ofa childhood friend who lived in the same apartment building.
It was a thoughtless word that bubbled out of my mouth like foam.

This was the first lie I ever told.

"What! Nao-kun?!"

My friend's eyes sparkled, and she didn't even try to hide her joy at sharing a secret.
" I won't tell anyone, I promise!"

Some time after that.

The hallway was as quiet as if the bustle of lunch break had been a lie.
I was suddenly called out.

"Since I'm Nao-kun's girlfriend, I'll let you have him."

Standing before me was a girl who stood out in class, always wearing her ribbon tied perfectly.
She stared straight at me.

"Huh...?"

My mind went blank.
I had never heard from Nao-kun himself that he had a girlfriend.
Besides, we played games together at my house almost every day.

"Um... thanks?"

That was all I could say.
But what did that even mean?
Is love something you just hand over to someone else?

I felt a strange sensation.

On the way home that day.
I ran into Nao-kun at the entrance of our apartment building.
Feeling awkward, I hurried to open my front door.

"Hey, so, apparently I've been 'handed over' to someone?"

Nao-kun said, laughing heartily.

"Oh, that's great for you!"

I found it funny too, and laughed along with him.
As if nothing had happened at all.

However, there was one thing that stuck in the back of my mind.

The fact that a friend who had promised to "tell no one" had immediately spread the secret.

It might be an exaggeration, but I felt like I had been betrayed by a friend for the first time.
I felt as if something had popped inside my chest.
It was a complex emotion, like the bursting of a carbonated bubble, mixed with a slight sting and the loneliness of being betrayed.

And, I felt just a little bit anxious.
That perhaps I would never experience what they call "love" in my entire life.

This is a small, bitter memory from when I was just drifting along, aimlessly.

Love is something you 'fall' into—I wouldn't learn that until much later.
But that is a story for another time.

Do you have a memory of the first lie you ever told?
If you'd like, please tell me.

Sincerely, Hiki

＊Iku KurokiI learned about this through Mediterranean Climate's project and decided to participate.

It was a wonderful memory that made me feel warm inside!

I am curious about everyone's stories as well. I resonated with the desire to share the wonder of those unique moments in March with all of you.

#SoThatWasIt