The night I was saved by my husband's words: 'Isn't it okay not to try so hard?'

I am a stay-at-home mom.
I am raising a daughter
who will soon be four years old.


Being an only child and a stay-at-home mommakes me feel
a certain
inferiorityabout my social standing,
and I sometimes feel anxious, thinking, 'Am I not working hard at anything?'

My sense of self-worthis something I struggle with
a little bit every day.

Every day, I see people whogo out into society,
fulfill their responsibilities,
and are useful to others.

Moms
holding a baby while leading a childthe same age as my daughter.

People who are studying toward a goal or
continuing to put in effort.

Every time I look at people who are working hard, I feel
a sense of respect,but at the same time,
I sometimes feel a loneliness
as if I've been left behind.

I know I could just do something, but

I just don't have the capacity.And

to maintain a peaceful balance at home,this style currentlysuits our family best...

The other day, while having an evening drink with my husband,
I let those muddled feelings
slip out.

My husband gave me a blunt answer.
'If you want to work hard, Mimin, I'll support you with all my might, but

isn't it okay not to work hard at all?'

My husband is a doctor.
When he was a rookie, he was
a resident full of energy and passion,
but the hospital he worked at afterward
had a super toxic work environment,
so...

He says that's where hisswitch for working hard
was turned off.

Of course, he still studies and continues to improve himself,
and faces the patients in front of him with responsibility.

However, he doesn't expend any more effort than the bare minimum.

'Work is just to get paid. How can I cut corners and get home early?'
is his daily motto.

He loves our daughter so much that he wants to ensure
he spends as much time with her as possible, even if it's just one second longer.

Recently, he hashappily started studying investing
so he can retire as soon as possible.

Because he is a husband who'takes pride in not working hard,'
he can genuinely say to me,who hasn't really achieved anything,

'Isn't it totally fine?'

'Just smiling and having a good time with our daughter is enough.

If you want to do something, you can do it then!'
he said, laughing it off.

Studies, extracurricular activities, work.
Throughout my life until now
I believed that 'effort is a virtue'
and I feel like I've been running with that belief.

Those words from my husband
gently lifted that burden
off my shoulders.

A partner who elevates each other
and aims for the heightsis also wonderful.

But for me right now,a relationship where we can relax
and cherish each other even without trying hard
feels more comfortable.

Following my own will and drifting toward the easier path.
That kind of 'avoidance' stance
is totally fine in lifetoo.

Besides, looking back,
I had lived my life
without experiencing any major setbacks.

But,child-rearing is a series of setbacks.
No matter how much effort I put in,
nothing goes right every single day.

My pride was easily broken,
and the absolute equation within me
that'if you put in the effort, you'll get results'brilliantly crumbled away.

However, thanks to my daughter,
I think I was able to gain the strength
to say, 'Well, that's okay!'as well.

There are people living their lives
to the fullest in their respective places,and I sincerely respect the fact that
our society is built
upon those efforts.

When my daughter grows up a little more,
and I have more room in my heart and time,
it won't be too lateto find a new goaland start running again.

Long live having space! Long live avoiding things!
I'm not a perfect person,
and I haven't made any efforts
that I can boast about to others.


But thanks to my husband and daughter,
I feel like I am gradually being freed
from thesense of obligation to make an effortand thedifficulty of living
that I had felt until now.
That is how I feel.

Thank you for reading
until the end🙇‍♂️
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