I am a chameleon, what color am I? #126

I think I am a chameleon.

I change my colors depending on who I am with.

I might be seen as a people-pleaser.

In front of my family,
I am a high-energy mom.

In front of my best friend,
I am a bit foul-mouthed and prone to laughter.

In front of my child's teacher,
I am a friendly, normal mom (or at least I want to be).

In that way, depending on the person,
I change in small, subtle ways.

Changing based on the person,
some might think that is unpleasant.

Honestly, this is
not something I do on purpose.

It is more like a habit of mine.

Even if I try to stop,
it is not something I can just quit.

So to some extent,
I have accepted it and live with it.

Even so, sometimes I get confused.

Which version of me is real,
and which version is just 'fitting in',
that boundary line.

I might be smiling even when I am in pain,
or telling jokes even when I am struggling.

I end up wondering,
what color is the real me, anyway?

Thinking about it like that, I realized something.

Maybe all of them are the colors of the real me.

Even a chameleon that is camouflaging,
is not a fake just because it is not green.

Changing colors to match the situation,
might just be a natural part of living.

To put it nicely, I am just
behaving appropriately for each situation.

The danger is not
that my colors change constantly,
but rather that I might kill off my true self.

So surely, no matter what the color is,
as long as I can breathe as my true self,
they are all the colors of my true self.

Even if it is a created color,
it is surely my color.

And so, even today,
I am still living as a chameleon.

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