If I could just say 'thank you,' I wouldn't be struggling. If words are too hard, why not start with 'this' at least?

Hello. I've been married for 10 years and am a mother of two.

I received so much feedback on my previous post, '[To all husbands] The timing of a 'thank you' that saves your wife's heart more than a bouquet on an anniversary.'

I am truly grateful for the warm comments from the husband accounts as well.

In my last article, I talked about how a 'well-timed word of gratitude' from a husband can save his wife.

However, after reading that, I'm sure many of you felt:
'That's true, but in reality, it's embarrassing to say it now after being together for so long.'
'If I could do that, I wouldn't be struggling!'

After all, it's only human to sometimes feel, 'Why should I have to be the one to say thank you first?!'

That is precisely why I would like to change tracks this time and talk about
[A truly important fundamental premise that applies to both spouses].

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There is no such thing as 'taking for granted' in a marriage

Even now, as I enter my 10th year of marriage, I often think, 'Marriage is such a mysterious relationship.'

After all, with parents, siblings, or children who share your blood, you don't get that irritated even if they project a bit of a grumpy aura, and you're fine even without exchanging words of gratitude every single day, right?

And yet, for some reason, the moment you become a 'married couple,' that grumpy aura or lack of gratitude instantly becomes the root cause of major irritation.

That is surely because a married couple are 'people who are not blood-related and were originally strangers.'

No matter how long you are together, the base is that you are strangers.
The environment you grew up in, your thinking, and your daily rhythms are all different.

That is precisely why, if you neglect to respect and cherish each other, that relationship will end in an instant.

Because it is a relationship where the indulgence of blood ties doesn't apply, I believe we must consciously continue to make the effort to reach out to one another.

Thinking it's only natural to have things done for you,
Thinking it's a given that they are always by your side.

That mindset is the root of destroying a marriage.

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If words are impossible, at least change your attitude or the atmosphere

Even so, if you are embarrassed to say 'thank you' and find it absolutely impossible,

then you don't have to force yourself to say it.

Instead, why not try changing the 'small actions and atmosphere' in your daily life just a little bit?

Most of the reasons why a marriage becomes strained are the 'accumulation of tiny negative vibes' in daily life.


For example, when you come home after finishing work.

For the person saying 'I'm home' when opening the door,
please, I beg you, don't come home filling the house with an aura of 'I'm the most tired person in the world.'I want you to stop.

Because home is a place to relax after work, I don't want you to intimidate your family with a grumpy atmosphere.


Conversely, for the person welcoming them home.

When saying 'Welcome back,'
I don't want you to greet them while projecting 100% of that prickly feelingof 'I'm busy as hell here doing everything by myself (💢ﾟДﾟ)' in your head or heart.


If you are both expressing 'Understand me!' or 'Figure it out!' through grumpy auras, loud footsteps, or the sound of slamming doors, the house will quickly become a hellish battlefield.


If you are embarrassed to put it into words, first try showing it through
[actions that show consideration for each other].

When your husband comes home, try saying just one word like 'Welcome back' or 'Thanks for your hard work.'

If your wife looks busy and flustered, don't offer unsolicited advice; just silently take over playing with the kids.

'Don't advertise your grumpiness.'
'Don't express the attitude of 'figure it out' with your body.'
Just these small acts of consideration can sometimes convey more to your partner than words.


It is natural for 'habituation' to set in when a couple has been together for many years.

That is precisely why, because there are no blood ties, I believe that the accumulation of the daily atmosphere of small 'I'm home' and 'Welcome back' greetings, and small acts of consideration, will turn you into each other's 'absolute number one partner in the world' years from now.

Why not take a break for just a moment today from being stubborn and waiting for the other person to change their attitude first?