Every time I wished to be liked, I felt my own outline fading away. [Things Kotonoha Decided Not to Do 5: Distorting 'Myself' to Be Liked]

I had, at some point, turned the feeling of
“not wanting to be disliked” into a reason to bend who I am.

Acting cheerful.
Agreeing with others.
Laughing off things that were difficult.
Swallowing my opinions and staying silent.

All of these were
“so that I wouldn't be disliked”
“so that I would be seen as a proper person”

and they were the result of whittling away 'myself' in order to be liked.


In truth, I wanted to stay quiet.
In truth, I held a different opinion.
In truth, I wanted to say, “That is not right.”

However, I had
prioritized “being accepted”
over my own “truth.”

So as not to ruin the mood.
So as not to be isolated.
So as not to be seen as a “difficult person.”

And so,
my “individuality” and “sensibility” slowly fell into silence...

But, I have finally realized it.

The “me who is trying to be liked”
might be a convenient existence for someone else.

But that
was completely different from
“living as myself.”


I will now
gently let go of the “me who was distorted to be liked.”
Even if I am not understood by someone,

even if my loneliness increases a little,


a way of life where I love the “true me” is many times kinder.

I am not living to be liked by someone,but to live without betraying myself,
and that is why I am here.

💌 To you

How much of your
“true self” did you silence today?

“I want to be seen as pleasant.”
“I don't want to be disliked.”
“I want to get along well.”

Has that wish ever, at some point,become a “reason to erase myself”?If that voice rings a bell in your heart,

please, together with me,


let us cultivate the choice of“first loving myself for existing without distortion,”
rather than “wanting to be liked without distorting myself.”
You, who are capable of that, are already beautiful.✨