[My First Note] Why I, who suffered from the 'right way,' started writing my own 'blueprint.' [Self-Introduction]

"Act more like a captain."
"Entrance exams are a team sport. Don't do anything to disrupt the harmony."

There are many 'supposedly correct ways of being' in this world.
I used to try to force myself into those correct answers, and I ended up falling apart.


I have already posted a few things, but
once again, hello everyone.

I am someone who is more timid than most,
and someone who values a sense of conviction.
Today, I would like to talk about why I value my own 'design'
rather than 'what is considered normal by society.'
I want to share the story of my embarrassing failures
and the small convictions that lie behind that choice.

The day I suppressed myself and came to hate baseball

I had been playing baseball since elementary school.
When I was appointed captain in high school, I was filled with anxiety.
The coach demanded an ideal image of a leader,
and I desperately tried to suppress my own style,
repeating trial and error to meet those expectations.

However, the more I faked who I was, the less results I got,
until I was eventually scolded for having a 'bad attitude.'
I had worn myself down for the sake of the team,
thinking I was doing my best,

but when I was hit with the words, 'Do you even know why I appointed you?',

I no longer even knew why I was standing there.

I came to hate the baseball I had loved so much.

How much it breaks your heart to keep wearing 'clothes that don't fit you'
by force.
That was the first lesson I learned through personal experience.

The comeback story where I designed myself
despite the teacher's sarcasm

Because of that experience, I decided to trust my own senses rather than the voices around me when taking university entrance exams.

In my surroundings, which was a college-prep school,
'Taking a day off school is being lazy'
'Do the same assignments as everyone else'
were absolute mentalities.
I detached myself from those constraints and created a 'blueprint of my own' calculated backward from passing.

I intentionally took days off school to focus on self-study,
and on days when I was tired, I refreshed my mind with games or manga.
Seeing me like that, some teachers would make sarcastic remarks,
'There's no way you'll pass doing it that way'
'You're being lazy.'
Even so, as a result of sticking to the method I believed in,

I was able to pass my first-choice university.
At that moment, I was convinced.

A method that fits the majority doesn't necessarily fit me.

I should observe my own heart and situation, and arrange a form that I can be convinced by myself.

'Design' is a kindness
to protect someone's smile

The 'Quiet Design Theory' I am sharing
is not just a technique for efficiency.

• Money: Instead of following trends, design for the 'peace of mind'
　　　　that lets you sleep soundly at night.
• Housing: Beyond just asset value, design a 'space' where we
　　　　can truly feel calm.
• Thinking: Design a 'core' to regain a quiet self
　　　　amidst the overflow of information.

Why go to such lengths to organize things?
The reason is very simple.

So that my wife can laugh and spend time happily by my side.
That is the happiness I want to cherish most in my life.

Finally:
To you, who are struggling in the darkness

'I don't know how I want to live'
'I don't know what I should believe in'
I cannot say strong words like 'do this and you will be saved' to those in such darkness.

But,
'There is someone who designs his life selfishly like this,
　　and cherishes himself'
I might be able to show that one ray of light.

I would be happy if the record of my trial and error could become a support for you,
who are worrying and walking the same path.

Thank you for reading until the end.
If you felt even a little bit of 'empathy' after reading this article, or if you have thoughts about your own 'way of finding conviction,' please let me know in the comments or by following.

I would be happy if we could walk this path without a correct answer together, slowly.