The Difficulty of Being a Pillow Refugee

There are so many pillows in the world

but I don't know which one is right for me.

This is a continuation of this article ↑

There is a term called 'pillow refugee,' but I think that the moment you start worrying about your pillow, your autonomic nervous system has already started to fail. And I have always been concerned about my pillows.
By the way, until now, believing the theory that lower pillows are better, I was actually using a very low pillow.
I've tried low-resilience pillows for children, feather pillows (the big ones because I wanted to support my shoulders too), buckwheat hull pillows, a low pillow called the Magniflex Actress Pillow (which supposedly prevents neck wrinkles), and neck pillows that you set only under your neck...

There are many kinds, but none of them felt right, and my day would start with extreme fatigue after waking up. However, since it had always been that way, I thought that was just how it was.

But, apparently, you are supposed to recover from fatigue after sleeping and waking up! An aroma therapist told me that. I was struck by the realization that of course that's true, and I started thinking about pillows.

By the way, my sleeping posture until then was from side-sleeping to back-sleeping.
It seems I sleep with my shoulders hunched up in both positions, and when I wake up, my neck is stiff.
Could it be that I want to support my neck, but because a low pillow doesn't support it, I sleep while keeping tension in my neck to support it, and that's why my neck gets stiff?
Maybe I'm crushing my shoulders the whole time because I'm forcing myself to sleep on my side?

If the scalene muscles are the cause, it's better to have the neck supported, and if the pectoralis minor muscle is the cause, it's probably better not to hunch the shoulders.

However, many pillows are non-returnable... I don't want to fail!

While consulting with AI, I visited stores many times, explaining that my mattress is like this, I have a straight neck, and my shoulder stiffness is terrible! After trying and trying, I finally arrived at the conclusion that the common Tempur Original Neck Pillow might be the one.

Tempur is common, but there's a theory that it's extremely difficult when you actually decide to buy one.

First of all, the Original Neck Pillow basically comes in four sizes, from XS to L. Furthermore, there are also ones with a wider width. It's hard to choose from those four!

All I know is that it's definitely not an L. So, I decided to try them all out at the bedding section of a department store. I also tried a pillow from Nishikawa that supposedly supports the back as well. While I was doing that, a clerk brought me a Millennium Neck Pillow (it seems the name has changed to 'Ergo Plus Pillow' during the two months I've been letting this article sit...). This one also has the same size range as the one in the figure above.

When I tried it in the store, it felt like my soul was being sucked out from the back of my head. I felt like I could fall asleep in an instant! It was the best! I decided to buy it right away. The one I tried was size M. Yes, this is it!

Asking Magniflex

However, after putting it in my cart, I started to worry. What about the compatibility with the firmness of my mattress...?
Worried, I flew to the manufacturer of my own mattress (a standard tri-fold Magniflex mattress I've been using for over 10 years).
When I asked while trying out a Magniflex pillow,

If the mattress is soft, your body will sink in, so the pillow should feel high.
The mattress you tried in the store was probably a bumpy one from Nishikawa. That is relatively firm, so M might have felt just right, but if you bring an M into a softer environment where you combine a Magniflex with an Ergo Topper, it will likely feel high.

That's what they said. I see... in other words, is it an S!?

Asking Tempur

However, after putting it in my cart, I started to worry. That M, which was so perfect, would feel too high when I brought it home... no way, right?
Worried, I called Tempur. Tempur accepts consultations over the phone before you buy. According to them,

To begin with, the pillows on display in stores have been tested by many people and have become quite broken-in and soft. While an M might have felt perfect in the store, a newly purchased pillow will be firm for a while, so it might feel too high. It is difficult to make a high pillow lower, but it is easy to make a low pillow higher. You just need to put a towel underneath it. Therefore, an S is recommended.

So that's what they said. Alright, S it is!!!
But I checked with ChatGPT many times. If the height changes, wouldn't the angle at which the back of the head is cradled also change?
ChatGPT says, "That's a good point, I think that's true," but it wouldn't give me a definitive answer.
In the end, I bought the S. It was at an outlet, and it was also during a Golden Week sale.

When I tried sleeping on the delivered pillow...

I had already factored in that it would take time to get used to it, and I knew it would take a while for the firmness to settle, so that didn't matter, but there were a few surprising results.
Before that, let's look at its unique shape.

When lying on your side, you can secure enough space so that your shoulders are not compressed.
It seems perfect for me, as I need to sleep without hunching my shoulders due to numbness in my hands, and without keeping tension in my neck!

When sleeping on my back, the back of my head fits nicely into the indentation, and it feels like my soul is being drawn in and held in place!

Major changes since introducing this pillow

• Pain at the end of the neck near the jaw

• There are times when my numb fingertips are not numb at all, and there is no discomfort

Could this be the perfect solution!? The pain at the end of the neck near the jaw might be because the neck muscles, which were stiff from sleeping with my neck hunched and shoulders shrugged, are now stretching, and muscles that don't usually stretch are making themselves known.

There have been several times before when the numbness in my hands decreased to the level of a feeling of swelling, but it had never decreased to the point of having no discomfort at all—a feeling of total calm!
For years since I first became aware of the numbness,I had never been able to feel my own hands, and the feedback that my brain predicts would return when touching objects never actually returned.
This is truly, incredibly happy news.

I refrained from summarizing this in an article for a while, thinking that right after changing pillows, expectations would be too high, or there would be a period of discomfort while getting used to it.

In the meantime, the product name of the pillow changed, and the material of the cover also changed.
The pillow I first bought had a beige towel-like cover, but now it's a pure white, slightly cushioned synthetic fabric cover.

How do I know that?
Actually...Doesn't the comfortable height change depending on the stiffness and tension in your shoulders, neck, and back?!

Three Millennium Neck Pillows (currently: Ergo Plus Pillow)

When I only had the S, the doubt kept popping into my head that maybe the angle of the back of my head being cradled felt different from when I tried it in the store, and maybe the M would actually feel better, which left me feeling unsettled.

At that time, I realized that the necessary height might differ depending on the condition of my shoulders, neck, and back, and since it happened to be another Amazon sale, I suddenly bought an XS and an M as well.
I ended up with three pillows, from XS to M, in my house.

It feels stupid to have agonized so much over buying the S, but in my mind: (1) Sleep is extremely important. (2) The numbness in my hands has already improved. Pillows are expensive, but considering the amount of money I've spent on the numbness problem so far, it's rational to spend money on something that seems close to a solution. (3) If I could choose a pillow based on the condition of my shoulders, neck, and back, I wouldn't have to worry anymore. (4) I'll pretend I bought the XS for my child and let myself try it out.
I made up these excuses and bought them all at once.

Sometimes at hotels, they have a shelf with various pillows where you can "choose your favorite pillow," right? I thought if I did that at home, I might be able to contain the pillow refugee problem.

As a result, I was able to confirm that the angle of the M indeed provides a stronger sense of the back of the head being cradled. However, I was also able to confirm that on some days, it feels too high.
I was able to be convinced by using both.

In reality, the Tempur material, which changes its firmness according to the temperature, doesn't always fit my body perfectly, so I think it was a good idea to own multiple pillows.

And now, the numbness is

The numbness in my hands has improved significantly, and it often stays at a level of no sensation to just a slight sense of discomfort.
Depending on my posture or how tired I am, I sometimes feel pain rather than numbness, as if something is clearly being compressed.

I have started to establish a routine of taking care of my body, such as going for chiropractic adjustments or massages before the stiffness in my back becomes unbearable, and doing stretches or foot baths.
Since I had been numb for a long time, it seems it won't be a complete recovery overnight, but I am truly relieved and happy that I no longer have issues like being unable to turn pages, not being able to tell how many pages I've turned, intending to type on a keyboard but not actually hitting the keys, or trying to insert and turn a bicycle key but feeling no feedback in my fingertips and not knowing how much I've turned it.

I don't think my hand condition is the same as anyone else's, and I don't believe that just being careful about pillows will necessarily lead to improvement, but I think setting up a good sleeping environment has some positive effects, so I've summarized my experience here.

Regarding the future

From now on, I think I'd like to explore some mattress options.
Exploring mattresses requires even more caution than pillows, and since they are large, I worry about what I'd do if I chose the wrong one, but I feel like my current mattress is a bit too firm.
Even if I change the mattress, I have three different types of pillows, so I can stay optimistic that one of them will fit, which might be another advantage of owning multiple pillows of different heights.

When staying at my parents' house or sleeping in the car, I can imagine the firmness of the bed and bring along a pillow of the height that I think will suit it.
It was a good purchase, and it turned out to be an unexpected item where having multiple pieces with the same function isn't a bad thing at all.