To You Who Can't Rest Even Though You're Tired | How I Let Go of the Belief That "You Need a Reason to Rest"
Don't you think that "you need a reason to rest"?
It's February, and work is
approaching the end of the fiscal year, isn't it?
Is everyone getting busy?
I work as a psychiatric visiting nurse.
It's not that it gets
exceptionally busy just because it's the end of the fiscal year,
but since it's the time when
the patients I'm in charge of who were hospitalized at the end of the year
are being discharged and returning,
things have gotten a bit hectic.
When things get busy,
fatigue builds up, doesn't it?
Don't you ever think,
"I want to rest..."?
But.
"I'm tired, so I'll rest"
"I just feel like resting"
Don't you think you can't rest
for reasons like those?
"It's obvious that you can't rest without a reason," right?
...is what I thought.
I, too, thought that way for a long time.
Actually, resting was much simpler
But you know.
When I think about it,
if I apply in advance,
I can definitely take time off.
"I'm taking a day off"
"I'm submitting a request"
"Rest"
...even though it's just that simple.
For some reason, in my head,
my thoughts were spinning in circles.
"Because there's a school event for my child"
"Because I'm not feeling well"
I felt like I couldn't take a day off
unless I had a "proper reason" like that.
"Taking a day off just for myself is selfish"
The one who thought that
was none other than "myself".
I was my own harshest critic
Whenever I tried to rest without a reason,
for some reason, I felt uneasy...
It was okay to rest for someone else's sake,
but it wasn't okay to rest just for myself.
...But who decided that, anyway?
While keeping a self-reflection journal,
I realized something.
I had just been holding onto
a mere 'assumption' all this time.
For example...
'I want to take it easy today'
'I want to spend some time quietly alone'
The moment those feelings came up,
'That's not a good enough reason'
I would immediately deny them.
The one judging me the most
was none other than 'myself'.
...Isn't that painful?
If I don't listen to my own feelings,
who will?
I decided to step out of that world
So, I made a decision.
I decided to step out of that world.
'I'm taking a day off to go out on a weekday'
'I'm taking a day off to relax'
That's perfectly fine, isn't it?
I've started giving myself permission to do so.
And then, you know.
I became able to naturally tell others,
'It's okay to rest.'
This is actually a huge change.
I realized that this is how
a workplace with breathing room is created.
My current workplace is like this.
By the way, as for me now...
My paid leave utilization rate is 100%✨
Isn't that amazing? Haha.
While the director does encourage it,
I am able to take paid leave about once a month.
Nowadays,
'I'm taking time off because there's a local concert♡'
'I'm going for my fan activities!'
There are many people who take time off just like that.
That is the kind of workplace I work in.
'You need a reason to take a break.'
Are you still holding onto
that belief?
First, be kind to yourself.
Only when you can do that
will true kindness overflow to others as well.
That is how I feel.
A self-dialogue journal
didn't just change my life like magic...
it created a place where I can return to myself
over and over again.
For me,
encountering the self-dialogue journal
was the start of my second life.
If right now,
"I want time to properly listen to my own feelings"
"I can't keep it up on my own, but I want to face myself quietly"
If you are feeling that way.
Currently,Self-Dialogue Journaling Course is in preparation.
Rather than just teaching you how to do it,
I plan for this to be a time where we create a "place" together where you can return to yourself again and again.
As soon as preparations are complete, I will announce it on Threads and note.
May it reach those who need it, gently.
Harumi's other channels 🌿
Threads
[Psychiatric Visiting Nurse] Harumi (@harumi_labo58)
** 📷 **Instagram**
About how to write in a journal, daily realizations, and ways of being
👉https://www.instagram.com/harumi_labo58/
📝 **Ameblo**
I write about my real daily life and what I felt today
👉How to create a happy daily life
💌 **Official LINE**
Delivering course information and journaling tips
👉 https://lin.ee/l1uism2
🎤 **Stand.fm**
For deeper talks via audio
👉 Happy Mental Labo Radio | stand.fm