For those who cannot say no. My story of learning to "prioritize myself" through a self-dialogue journal

When someone asks you for a favor or invites you out, you "cannot say no."
Does that ever happen to you?

I used to be bad at saying no.

Especially when I was asked to do work or invited to workplace gatherings, I felt like
the option to "say no" did not exist.

I work as a nurse.

I am the type of person who does work carefully, reliably, and with a sense of responsibility.

That is precisely why being told, "I want to ask Harumi-san," was
something I was truly grateful for.

But on the other hand, because I was thought of as someone who would reliably finish work on time without mistakes,
the number of requests I received kept increasing.

Being asked for everything.
You can sort of tell when that is happening.

While others were saying no, I could not.
Before I knew it, I was working harder than anyone else, and
in the end, I was just making myself suffer.

I was that kind of person who couldn't say no, but
I changed after encountering the self-dialogue journal.

A self-dialogue journal is a notebook where you write down questions to yourself to
visualize your feelings, notice the thoughts that are causing you pain, and
gradually let them go.

I wrote this in my notebook.

"Why can't I say no?"

As I wrote down whatever came to mind,
"I want to be acknowledged."
"I want to be valued."
"I don't want to be disliked."
Those kinds of thoughts emerged.

It wasn't that I couldn't say no, but
"If I say no, I will lose my value."
I had convinced myself of that.

I realized that my low self-esteem and need for approval
were the reasons I couldn't say no.

But once I realized that,

"What do I really want to do?"
I became able to ask myself that question.

The answer I arrived at was

That is what it was.

Once I started thinking that way,
I became able to say no little by little.

Of course, I didn't suddenly become able to say
"I won't do it."

"I am working on this task right now, so
I can do it after I finish."

"I have already been asked to do this first, so
could you ask someone else?"

In that way,
I became able to communicate the "reason why I can't do it now."

Even just that made work much easier.

The same goes for workplace gatherings.

On days when I am actually tired or want to cherish time with my family,
I have become able to say, "I will pass today."

I used to think that
"saying no means hurting the other person"
.

But now,

That is what I think.

Self-dialogue journaling
did not force me to change.
It simply helped me realize my true feelings.

If there is anyone out there struggling because they cannot say no,
please try asking yourself a question in your notebook once.

"Why can't I say no?"

I am sure that within that answer,
there is a hint hidden that will help you live more easily.

Thank you for reading until the end.

In this space,
**"When your thinking changes, your life, parenting, and work change too"** is the theme, and I share small joys found in daily life and tips for valuing yourself.

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