To Live a Life Without Regrets

A nurse at a hospice once asked patients about the 'ranking of regrets elderly people have before they die.' Many regrets were written down. From among them, I applied them to myself and listed the following five things that I do not want to regret.

・もっと自分の好きなことをすればよかった
・もっと親孝行すればよかった
・もっと旅行しておけばよかった
・もっと自分を大切にすればよかった
・もっと他人のために尽くせばよかった
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　by 高齢者へのアンケート調査の抜粋

One of the reasons for my decision to retire is 'to live a life without regrets.'

Things I thought about in order not to have regrets

I myself thought about how I should act in my future life to reduce regrets. As a result, I chose early retirement to increase my free time while I still have the physical strength and energy.

Over the past few years, I have said goodbye to my father, my father-in-law, and my mother-in-law. They were of a certain age, so I accepted it in terms of their age. And that became a catalyst for me to think about life.

The Ant and the Grasshopper

When my father was young, he worked hard like an ant and built up savings, however small. And even as he grew older, he remained an ant. According to my father, the grasshopper's way of life is 'evil.' He believed that frugality is everything in life.

I don't think my father ever regretted being able to end his life as an ant. Or rather, I think he was satisfied. Because he was able to live by the motto 'frugality is everything in life' until the very end and bring his life to a close. Since my father passed away, my mother and I have frequently talked about his way of life. I am deeply realizing that his way of life is exactly what he left behind for his son (me).

My father's way of life

My father worked like an ant. Did he work while hoping to become a grasshopper someday? Even if I asked my mother, that remains unknown. I just feel that his belief was to work hard so that he wouldn't struggle in the future.

He seemed to prefer 'frugality,' 'hardship,' and 'patience' himself. I think his goal was not to become a grasshopper, but that living 'frugally' itself was the goal. Conversely, he seemed to dislike 'luxury' and 'entertainment.' I wondered if he was holding back, but it seems he truly disliked spending money from the bottom of his heart. When I was a child, I have no memories of family trips, let alone eating out.

Conversely, he seemed to dislike 'luxury' and 'entertainment.' I wondered if he was holding back, but it seems he truly disliked spending money from the bottom of his heart. When I was a child, I have no memories of family trips, let alone eating out.

What my uncle and aunt did for me

Perhaps they felt sorry for me, but my uncle and aunt would take me to various places and invite me to restaurants along with my cousins. At my father's funeral, we spent a lot of time talking about those things. I have almost no photos of myself with my parents, only photos of trips with my cousins.

I never questioned why my parents didn't come along, and it wasn't until I became an adult that I realized this. I am grateful to my wonderful uncle and aunt for caring about me.

A negative example

Looking back on my life so far, I have walked my path using my father as a negative example. Our ways of thinking are completely opposite. Therefore, I am trying to change my second life to the grasshopper's way of life. I feel that doing so will lead to a life without regrets.

The fact that I was able to realize through introspection that imitating my father's case would be a regret for me also helped me move forward with early retirement.

Measures to avoid regrets

• I wish I had done more of what I loved:
  As a salaryman, there are set working hours. How wonderful it would be if I could control all of this time myself! I felt like I was lying to myself by using working hours as an excuse to cut back on the time I spent doing what I loved. Therefore, to avoid this regret, I have started my second life without waiting for retirement, while I still have the enthusiasm and physical strength. It has only just begun, but since I still have a habit of worrying about what others think and comparing myself to others, I will make this a challenge and focus on doing what I love.
  
  

• I wish I had been more filial to my parents :
  Every time I attend the funeral of a close relative, I deeply realize the obvious fact that everyone must die. Currently, my mother is over 80 and still in good health. Although she is elderly and requires care, I regularly go for walks with my beloved mother so that I will have no regrets. It is not so much for her sake, but for my own—it is one of the things I want to do.
  
  

• I wish I had traveled more:
  Actually, I have visited many places since I was young. I have conquered all 47 prefectures in Japan. However, most of them were business trips. Since I haven't been able to take enough free time, I intend to enjoy traveling where time flows slowly, without being chased by time constraints or schedules.
  
  

• I wish I had taken better care of myself:
  I have often sacrificed myself for the sake of harmony with those around me, the ability to read the room, and the invisible constraints of peer pressure. From now on, I will live a life that is more honest and follows my own will.
  
  

• I wish I had done more for others:
  This item may seem different from the previous four. Since I have been called a veteran as a business person, I have often received a wide variety of consultations, including problem-solving, career development, and personal advice.
  
  Even when the person seeking advice is struggling, saying, 'I can't get over the big wall in front of me,' I have become able to give advice quite easily, saying, 'There is a route to pass through from the side.' The experience of overcoming many trials is amazing, and I have naturally acquired the skill to see through things calmly and quickly from a bird's-eye view.
  
  To avoid the regret of wishing I had done more for others, I have come to think that if the advantages I have acquired can help those who are moving toward their goals, I want to contribute more. Volunteering might be one way to do that.
  
  In the future, I am thinking of avoiding this regret by planning to practice things like problem-solving, coaching, consulting-style advice, and mental health care, not as a job or business, but as a way to give back.

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