I'm glad I didn't go to photography school.

Nanashiki-kun's note is wonderful.

At the same time, I truly feel glad that I didn't go to photography school.

I graduated from a graduate school for science and engineering, and what I studied at university was mechanical engineering.
For my master's thesis, I was solving equations for vortices.
After that, I got a job at Ricoh, but I quit when the camera division was shut down.
At the age of 27, I launched a photography and video production company called bird and insect, and finally began walking the path of photography.
As a result, nine years later in 2023, I stopped taking photos for work, and now I enjoy photography as a hobby.

I stopped making photography my job in order to stabilize my life.
I decided to use photography solely for my own PR, and within a year, I reached a point where my life was stable for the rest of my days.

Having lived for 35 years without ever having a decent life, constantly choosing between being busy with work or having no money, I had so little breathing room that I had even given up on marrying the girlfriend I was living with.
However, it suddenly occurred to me that 'maybe stabilizing my life wouldn't be so bad,' and I decided to throw away all my previous thoughts about photography and use it only to promote myself.
I quit commercial photography and photography as art, and just take photos for myself.
Then, my income easily became about 10 times what it was before, and in one year, my life became surprisingly stable.
Thinking, 'I can live like this from now on,' I was able to take the step toward marriage, which ultimately led to me leaving Tokyo where work was easy to get, and my life changed.

I don't think I could have done this if I had gone to photography school.

Knowing myself, if I had gone to photography school, I probably wouldn't have been able to let go of photography.

I have to do something with photography.
I have to treat photography as something sacred.
Photography is all I have.
I don't want to tarnish my work.

Considering my personality, it's easy to imagine that I would have ended up with those kinds of thoughts.

The version of me in that timeline probably wouldn't be living a peaceful life.
I think I would have spent my days thinking about photography, buried in photography production, and living happily.
At the expense of my livelihood.

I am truly satisfied with my life now.

However, it is a life gained by sacrificing photography.

I am who I am today because I gave up the dream of becoming someone through photography and chose to prioritize my life.
It was difficult for me to balance photography and life.
Once I start thinking about photography, I want to throw away my life, and even if I think about photography while thinking about my life, it's only second in terms of priority.
Because I am an extremist, I would never be satisfied with a second-place priority.
Even now, several times a day, I think, 'Shouldn't I throw away this life and do photography?'
It's only for a fleeting moment, though.

I am truly satisfied with my life now.
That makes me incredibly happy, and tremendously frustrated.