【Re-parenting my 25-year-old daughter】Mom as a playmate～I love you so much, but I hate you

I wanted to be a person who was different from others,

I didn't want to be ordinary.

The actions I took to achieve that led to failure.

That's why, right now, I can't stand the situation being so far from my ideals.

It was something I heard from my daughter's lips at some point... Looking at my daughter now, I can accept that this is ultimately who she is. How can I be different from others? What should I do to not be ordinary?

My part-time job continued in a small way. That said, the first month was the only time things went smoothly. From there, because her physical condition wasn't stable, she would often be absent, and there were many times she only put in shifts for two or three days a month. One day, at her part-time job, a child pointed out that she was fat, and she ended up taking a few months off. Still, it was an understanding workplace, and I am very grateful that they welcomed her back willingly when she felt she could try working again.

At the new psychosomatic clinic she started attending, she was initially treated only with herbal medicine. Of course, I knew it wasn't a mild enough condition to be cured by herbal medicine alone. Just as she had been hurt by a child's words at her part-time job, one of the greatest sources of suffering for my daughter was that she had gained weight due to overeating. When she cried during consultations and complained that the overeating was painful, they added prescription drugs instead of herbal medicine. It was a prescription intended to have the effect of suppressing overeating. When her mood was severely depressed,

antidepressants

were also added. Because of the medicine, she was constantly sleepy no matter what. There were many days she spent sleeping in her futon from morning until night. There was also a period when her mood was incredibly elevated and she was high. "I don't have any worries at all!" There were days she felt something was abnormal and consulted her doctor. She continued taking the medication while adjusting it by reducing or increasing it each time.

During this period, she would only meet with her best friend from high school, and I, her mother, was mostly her playmate.

Going to fortune-telling while touring Chinatown, going for afternoon tea, traveling to Kawagoe, going to a handmade festival, an exhibition of popular characters, a trip to Hokkaido, a trip to Hakone.

If my daughter showed even the slightest interest, I would put it into action. I wanted her to accumulate happy feelings.

Since I was her playmate, I was made to watch variety shows and YouTube videos that were funny together. Even though my daughter had already watched them once, we would watch them together again. Thanks to that, I might have been able to learn about many worlds that a mother of my generation wouldn't know.

Mom, I love you! Mom, Mom, I love you so much!

When a child over twenty is in a good mood, this is what happens.

On days when she is in a bad mood, she says her spirits are down and she's not feeling well, eats what's in the refrigerator, then rummages for more, gets irritated that there's nothing to eat, and cries and screams. When I'm scared and can't get close to her and can only watch from the sidelines, I get blamed,
It's because you won't pay attention to me, Mom!. It's so unreasonable that I can't stand it, I end up yelling, and my daughter has a hyperventilation attack. There are also days when it's just "Waaaaah!"

Making her angry -> a seizure occurs -> she gets itchy (breaks out in hives) -> she can't stand any sound -> Mom, go away, get out! I hate you!!

While accumulating these various experiences so late in the game, I continued to learn through trial and error what I should say to my daughter and what I should do for her. I am in the middle of
re-parenting.

[Re-parenting my 25-year-old daughter] Thank you for reading.
I have compiled these in a magazine, so please be sure to read them from the beginning.