Focus on Your Circle of Influence: The One Habit to Stop Worrying About Things You Cannot Change

Conclusion: Most of our worries stem from pouring too much energy into things we cannot change on our own.

Reason: By focusing on the "Circle of Influence" where your power reaches, you increase your proactivity, which in turn expands the range of what you can change.

In this article, I will provide you with concrete methods to free yourself from daily stress using this core concept from "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People."

Hello, I am Fumisho.

The company's poor performance, a boss in a bad mood, seeing heartless comments on social media...

Do you ever feel down or frustrated by things like these that you cannot do anything about? I used to feel that way all the time.

It is like a farmer complaining about the weather. Crops won't grow without rain, yet he just stares at the sky and laments, "Why isn't it sunny!"

What saved me from this vicious cycle of helplessness and stress was Dr. Stephen R. Covey's simple yet powerful concept called the "Circle of Influence."

About the Proponent

He was an American management consultant, author, and educator who established a monumental achievement in the field of self-improvement.

His main work, "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People," is a historic bestseller that has sold tens of millions of copies worldwide and remains a guiding principle for many leaders and business professionals today.

Dr. Covey preached the importance of a way of life based on character and principles, rather than superficial techniques.

Among these, the core of the first habit, "Be Proactive," is this concept of the "Circle of Influence." He strongly advocated that the key to personal success and happiness lies in the attitude of focusing on what you yourself can control.

Where are you pouring your energy?

Dr. Covey called all of our concerns the "Circle of Concern," and within that, he named the range where we can exert influence the "Circle of Influence."

The "Circle of Concern" includes everything from familiar things like health, family, and work, to politics, the economy, international affairs, and the opinions of others.

The problem is that our energy is finite. If we pour this finite energy into things outside our "Circle of Concern" that we cannot control, dissatisfaction and feelings of helplessness only grow, and nothing improves.

This is an extremely inefficient way of fighting, like trying to attack a massive enemy stronghold while leaving your own small fortress at your feet completely unguarded.

Proactive people have a larger "Circle of Influence"

Dr. Covey called people who focus their time and energy on their "Circle of Influence" proactive people.

Instead of lamenting the flaws of others or circumstances they cannot change, proactive people try to change their own actions and ways of thinking, which they can control.

For example, instead of complaining that "my boss doesn't appreciate me," they think, "How can I improve my presentation skills to convey the value of my work?"

Then, strangely enough, by changing your own actions, the reactions of those around you change, and as a result, the "Circle of Influence" itself gradually expands.

This is like an RPG where you can defeat more types of enemies by leveling up your own character.

Changing your inner self is the only way to change the world.

Now, here are three steps to help you focus your energy on your "Circle of Influence" and live a stress-free, proactive daily life.

1. Write down your "Circle of Concern" and "Circle of Influence"

First, try writing down everything you are currently concerned or worried about on a piece of paper.

Next, examine each item on the list and sort them into whether they are within your "Circle of Influence," which you can change through your own direct actions, or outside in the "Circle of Concern," which you cannot control.

For example, "company performance" is in the Circle of Concern, but "improving my skills to contribute to the team" is in the Circle of Influence.

Just by doing this sorting task, the true nature of your worries should become clear, and your mind should feel much lighter.

2. Change your language from "reactive" to "proactive"

You can change your thinking habits by consciously changing your daily language.

Are you using "reactive language" that lets you be swept away by circumstances, such as "I have to do this" or "It's impossible for me anyway"? Try replacing these with "proactive language" such as "Is there anything I can do?" or "I choose to..."

Language is the rudder of your thoughts. Instead of "I don't have time," ask "How can I make time?" This small shift turns you from a victim of the problem into a participant in the solution.

3. Keep "small promises" within your Circle of Influence

Accumulate experiences of keeping the small promises you make to yourself.

Set and execute simple goals that stay within your circle of influence, such as "I will study for just 30 minutes today" or "I will wake up 15 minutes earlier than usual tomorrow."

This cycle of "promises to self and achievement" fosters confidence and agency. Rather than setting big goals and failing, accumulating small successful experiences is far more effective for expanding your circle of influence.

It is like clearing small success quests to steadily earn experience points. Before you know it, you will have reached a surprisingly high level.

Summary

I feel that the concept of the "Circle of Influence" is a powerful prescription for the sense of helplessness that is rampant in modern society.

Through social media and other channels, we are exposed to far too much information in our "Circle of Concern" that we cannot do anything about.

As a result, we may be unconsciously having our energy drained and becoming exhausted.

Since learning this concept, I personally have significantly reduced the amount of time I spend being swayed by news or the opinions of others.

Instead, I spend more time asking myself, "What can I do right now?" and my mind has become very calm.

It is a quiet and powerful feeling, like a captain who, unconcerned by the storm outside, firmly grips the helm of their ship and heads toward their destination.

3 Things You Can Do Right Now

1. Think of just one worry that is bothering you the most right now (30 seconds).

2. Ask yourself if that worry is within your "Circle of Influence" where you can change it through your own actions (1 minute).

3. If it is within your circle of influence, decide on the first small step you can take tomorrow (e.g., read one page of a related book) (2 minutes).

Thank you for reading as always.

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Reference:

• FranklinCovey "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" (https://www.franklincovey.com/the-7-habits/)

• Stephen Covey "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" (Book)

• Forbes "How To Use The 'Circle Of Influence' To Reduce Stress" (https://www.forbes.com/sites/carolinecastrillon/2021/05/02/how-to-use-the-circle-of-influence-to-reduce-stress/)

#LifeHack #SelfImprovement #The7Habits #CircleOfInfluence #StephenCovey #Proactivity #StressManagement #WorkStyle