There are scars. There is atopic dermatitis. There are surgical marks. About the people who entrusted me with the 'bodies they didn't want to show'

There are scars. There is atopic skin. There are surgical marks.

I wrote about body types before.

What I am writing about today is a slightly different story.

It is not about weight or size, but about people who have something on the 'surface of their bodies'.

• Scars

• Surgical marks

• Skin irritated by atopic dermatitis

• Stretch marks

• Keloids

• Self-inflicted marks

People carrying these things have come before me. Not just one or two.

I will write about those people.

About the person who didn't undress

It was summer.

When I entered the hotel room and tried to lower the air conditioning temperature a little, that person said:

"Um, could you please not look at my chest too much?"

I replied, "I understand."

I replied quietly, "I understand." I sort of understood the reason.

But I didn't ask any further.

That day, what I was thinking about was not "how to avoid looking," but "what can I do to make this person feel at ease."

I don't think I want you to show me.
If you can spend your time keeping them hidden, that's fine.

In my line of work as a female sex worker, it is quite difficult to 'not look' at certain areas.

I have written an article about not doing things that make people uncomfortable, and 'not showing what you don't want to show' is included in that.

When they came for the second time

It was three months later that this person came for the second time.

The same hotel. It wasn't the same room, but it had a similar layout.

This time, too, they said, 'Um, could you please not look at my chest too much?'

However, the only slight difference was that the client stopped worrying about it halfway through the treatment.

Without saying anything. Slowly.

I will write honestly about what I felt at that moment.

I saw a scar running vertically from the chest to the abdomen.
It must have been about 50 centimeters long.

That was the only information that entered my eyes, and nothing changed.
It was like, 'Understood, understood.'

Their body was a little stiff.
I don't know if that was due to tension or their physical constitution.

I touched them as I always do.
I didn't touch them in any special way.
I didn't treat them specially either.

I didn't ask what they were thinking when they exposed themselves at that time.
There was no need to ask.

I only remember them saying, 'I'm glad I came,' as they were leaving.

Commonalities among people who come carrying things they don't want to show

People with scars, people with atopic dermatitis, people with surgical marks.

What they are carrying is different for each person, but there is a commonality in the LINE messages before booking.

Almost everyone says it themselves before I even ask.

• "My skin is irritated, is that okay?"

• "I have surgical scars."

• "Because it doesn't look pretty."

In many cases, people who are worried about their body shape only mention it on the day of the appointment.

However, almost everyone tells me about their scars or skin condition before they even book.

I have wondered why that is.

I think it's probably because"they are afraid of being repulsed once they get there."I think that's why.

If it's just body shape, you might be able to hide it with clothes.

But scars or skin conditions might not be fully concealable when we are in close contact.

So they want to say it beforehand and see the other person's reaction.

If they are going to be repulsed, they want to know before meeting.

I understand that feeling.

Every time, I give the same reply.

"It's fine. Nothing changes."

This isn't just a polite formality; I write it because truly, nothing changes.

In fact, it doesn't change so much that you might wonder, "Doesn't it bother you?"

The treatment, the way I touch, and the time we spend together remain the same.

Just because someone has atopic dermatitis doesn't mean I need to change anything on my end (of course, I don't use anything that causes allergies or irritation, and I always consult with them first).

I do take care not to touch too strongly, but that is something I do for everyone.

This is a bit of a tangent, but I like visual kei bands, and phrases like "there is nowhere without scars" often appear in their lyrics.

There is a strength in not denying the existence of 'scars,' and I feel that remains somewhere within me as I do this work.

It might be out of place to bring up music in a professional context, though.

I will not force the idea that 'it was okay to show it'

When I write articles like this, they might be read as a message saying, 'You'll feel better if you try showing the things you don't want to show.'

But that is not what I think.

If you don't want to show it, you don't have to.

It is fine to keep wearing long sleeves. It is fine to keep bandages on.

If you say, 'Please don't touch this area,' I won't touch it.

There are people who felt relieved after showing it, like the person I mentioned earlier.

But even if you don't show it, you can still spend your time properly. You can still create a time where you feel at ease.

It is not about 'being brave for showing it' nor is it 'meaningless if you don't show it.'

I am not in a position to do anything about what is on your body.

I simply touch within the range that you feel is 'okay.' That is all there is to it.

As I wrote in 'A story about people who match with blue and people who probably don't', I am the type who walks beside you.

I won't stand in front and say, 'This way.'

Whether you have scars or your skin is irritated, it is enough that you are just there beside me.

Please decide anything beyond that for yourself.

What I know is not the 'condition' of your body, but only the 'temperature' of your skin.

What is conveyed when I touch you. That is everything, and that is enough.

Thank you very much for reading this far.

If you feel even a little bit that
'I could feel at ease with this person'
'I could consult with them without being rushed, even for the first time'
, please take a look at my profile first.

If you have any questions before booking or concerns about using the service for the first time,
please feel free to contact me via LINE.
I will not pressure you to proceed. You can go at your own pace.

▶ Ao's Profile
https://roca2024.com/ao/

▶ Consult via LINE
https://lin.ee/19BlriD

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