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There is no such thing as a 'prognosis' for your life. — The freedom to choose your lifestyle, as taught by 'The Courage to Be Disliked'


I am going to talk about why writers shouldn't use the phrase 'poor prognosis' to get clicks.

 I feel like the phrase 'poor prognosis' has suddenly started appearing all over social media in the last few months. Of course, it is not being used in its original medical sense—referring to 'a poor outcome or medical outlook (chances of recovery or survival) after treatment for an illness or injury'—but rather in a way that suggests people who have done (or had done to them) such-and-such have a poor prognosis. Now, on my X recommendations feed, I see things like: 'Characteristics of first-year employees with a poor prognosis,' 'Between the talented and the genius, the talented have a worse prognosis,' 'People who are good at Japanese have a poor prognosis,' 'If you have low looks but high pride, you have a poor prognosis,' 'If you were a truant, you have a poor prognosis,' 'If your parents try to control you, you have a poor prognosis,' 'Quiet girls in childhood have a poor prognosis.' Prognosis, prognosis, prognosis, prognosis...Shut up!!!!!!!!

Human differences are a gradient, so everyone has a poor prognosis and a good prognosis to some extent!!!

From my post

 Instead of a binary of pure white and pure black, everyone lives in the ambiguous gradient (shades) in between. Yet, for some reason, social media draws extreme lines, saying 'that guy is a one-shot failure' or 'this one is a winner,' trying to arbitrarily confine other people's lives. The people saying these things pretend to be 'stating cold, objective facts' while trying to escape the fear of being a 'one-shot failure' or 'too late' that is rampant on modern social media. Employment, personality, how one was raised by parents, behavior in childhood... many people harbor a dystopian anxiety that if you make one wrong choice or have one wrong attribute, your subsequent life (prognosis) will remain poor and never recover, and they are projecting this onto each other.

 This curse of a 'poor prognosis' is the very 'etiology' that Adlerian psychology flatly denies. Etiology suggests that 'past environments and attributes determine your future.' I think, 'As if that could be true.'

 Adler says, 'The world is simple, and anyone can change at any time.'

The essence of Adlerian psychology that I grasped after reading 'The Courage to Be Disliked' lies precisely in the point that 'you cannot choose your past, but you can choose your present and your future.' In Adlerian psychology, the unique 'habits of thought and action (stance toward life)' that humans possess are called a lifestyle.

If a lifestyle is not something given innately, but something you chose yourself, then it should be possible to choose it again.

From 'The Courage to Be Disliked: The Teachings of Adler, the Origin of Self-Help' by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga

 When I learned this, I think quite a few people felt like they were being blamed for not being able to change. The environment you were born into and the influence of the people around you are certainly significant. I doubt anyone consciously chose their personality, behavior, or values from the time they were a small child. Even so, Adler's philosophy—that you are the one choosing your current self—is by no means kind to everyone. However, I believe the concept of a lifestyle is like a hope sleeping at the bottom of Pandora's box for humanity.

 In fact, I have lived my life since then while fitting into several of the attributes that are mocked on the internet as having a 'poor prognosis' to get clicks. And now, I am living comfortably, far away from those ominous predictions. Surely, even if someone else lived under the same conditions as me, they wouldn't end up here, and even if I lived under the same conditions as someone else, I wouldn't end up in the exact same future.
 
 When I graduated from high school, I was 160cm tall and weighed 83kg. From every angle, I was a giant. I was far from someone capable of self-management, to the point where my mother had been scolding me since I was a small child, saying, 'You are sloppy.' Despite that, I had high pride and couldn't become a cheerful, fun, chubby character. I wanted to experience romance, and I wanted to be someone with confidence. I just kept saying I wanted to be that way, but I didn't know how to act.

 There was a Book-Off near the apartment where I lived alone for the first time. I would wander around the store for no reason before going out or when I got home (at that time, reading wasn't a hobby like it is now). I happened to look up at a shelf and saw 'How to Become a Little Devil (Chocho).' The lifestyle of a 'little devil' didn't exist even one millimeter inside me. Full of self-love, mischievous, carefree, honest, charming, and dignified. I was shocked. If it were my usual self, I would have laughed at myself, thinking, 'A little devil with that body type and look?' But I was different then. I bought the book right there and read it intently at home. And I thought, 'I will choose this.' I didn't know anything about Adler, but I certainly consciously chose a lifestyle of being a little devil.

 From the next day, I wore a miniskirt. I practiced makeup. I went to a hair salon and wore colored contacts. I did what I could to become a little devil while my body type remained almost the same. Because I was a little devil, I stopped being afraid of communicating with others. Then, while keeping the body type that had been a complex for me until high school, I became the most popular I had ever been in my life. I learned that beauty and ugliness have nothing to do with being liked by people. I also started to get along well with friends. I learned that people like those who are dignified and confident. Above all, I felt comfortable being the self I had intentionally chosen.

 The little devil version of me eventually finished its role naturally. Self-acceptance progressed, and I no longer needed to choose the 'little devil' lifestyle. The experience of choosing a lifestyle remained with me as a major perspective for thinking about what kind of person I want to be.  

We tend to fixate on things like 'this is the real me' or 'I am this kind of person,' and struggle (just as others label our 'prognosis,' we label ourselves). Just by thinking that humans are flexible beings, that struggle loses its reason for existing. You just have to choose a lifestyle you can be satisfied with, just like choosing clothes again.


While shopping at the supermarket, my son suddenly pointed at a pack of sushi and said,

'Mom, I want to try eating this.'

  My son, who had never been able to eat sushi, suddenly made it his favorite food one day. Children easily shed the self of yesterday in a few months, a few days, or even a few hours, and dive into a new world. For children who are constantly finding new worlds and moving forward, 'prognosis' is a word that has no meaning. In the face of their infinite possibilities and fresh vitality, how ridiculous, meaningless, and narrow-minded is the ego of adults who talk about 'prognosis'—saying things like 'past environment is...' or 'parental upbringing is...'—and put a price on the future.

 We are not made up only of that 'if you are such-and-such, you have a poor prognosis.' That is not all of who you are. You, me, and that person all have an overwhelming number of multifaceted differences. You don't have to feel anxious just because someone else tells you that you have a poor prognosis. You decide your own path.

Destroy the word 'prognosis' and live your life.

 Life is not bound by past events or innate attributes. You can continue to choose for yourself a 'lifestyle' of how to interpret them and how to live this very moment.




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