To "Me" Who Has Forgotten How to Fall in Love

人を好きになるってどういうこと？
どうやったら、好きになれる？

I wonder, when was the last time
I felt like I "liked" someone?

When I had my first love.
Just hearing my name called
made my heart race,
and just by making eye contact,
my face would turn
bright red,
and I couldn't even speak properly.
That version of me back then.
Sitting on a bench together,I was happy even when silence passed between us.

Like that,
needing no reason or explanation,
just my heart on its own
fluttering—

Yes,
that feeling is what "liking" is.
I only have the memory of it.

I thought about this recently.

Something that makes you feel warm,
something that makes you want to see them,
something that makes you smile
just by hearing their name—
I realized that such feelings
had completely
slipped away
from inside me.

I feel like I used to be able to
like people more.

My heart would sway at a small kindness,
I would get a thrill from a casual word,
and just by meeting someone's eyes for a moment,
I would end up thinking about them all day.

But now,
I can't even accept someone's affection directly.
When something resembling a flutter
approaches,
I find myself unconsciously
avoiding it.

As I became an adult,
tossed about by the waves of society,
chased by raising children,
I gradually became
timid about "liking" someone,
and then, I forgot.

So as not to get hurt.
So as not to lose anything.
So as not to be disappointed.

And before I knew it,
putting a brake on my heart
before feeling "like"
had become second nature.

"Is this person really okay?"
"Don't they have an ulterior motive?"
"They'll leave anyway."

Perhaps that wariness, that adult mind,
had firmly closed the entrance
to the emotion of liking someone.

Instead of choosing people
based on specs or looks,
"I don't know why, but I like them,"
"I don't know what it is, but my heart is racing,"

This feeling once more—


Falling in love
is, after all, a little scary.
But because of that, it moves the heart.
The world becomes a little more colorful.
I decided that I, after all,
wanted to experience that feeling again.

If you also
"I don't know the feeling of
liking someone recently,"
"Love is just a hassle and tiring now,"
if you have been thinking that,
that might just be proof
that you have been hurt
a great deal.

But you know,
you don't have to give up on
"liking someone."
Rather,
cherishing yourself while
gently drawing close to someoneis,
I think, a "way of loving"
that you can only do now that you are an adult.

I don't know why, but
I wonder if I can feel my heart race?

Thank you so much
for reading until the end💕💗💕
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I plan to post
around 10 AM and 8 PM every day😁Please come back to see my next post too🤩

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