What I Learned from Reading Books on Verbalization: How to Turn the 'Vague' in Your Mind into Words

Recently, I have been hearing the word "verbalization" quite often.

"Verbalization skills are important," "Let's put our thoughts into words," "People who can communicate well are good at verbalization." Whether at work, on social media, or in bookstores, words related to verbalization are everywhere.

So, what does it actually mean to be "good at verbalization"?

Is it about having a rich vocabulary? Is it about being a good speaker? Is it about being able to explain difficult things in an easy-to-understand way? Or is it about being able to name emotions and thoughts that you yourself do not yet fully understand?

I was curious, so I read every book I could find on the subject of verbalization.

Books like "Amazing Verbalization," "Communicative Verbalization," "How to Verbalize Your Thoughts," "'Being Able to Put It into Words' Is a Weapon," "Verbalization Power," "The Magic of Verbalization," "The Complete Guide to Verbalization," and "The Essence of Language," among others.

The more I read, the more interesting it became to see that while each book dealt with the same theme of "verbalization," the perspective they took was completely different.

Some books talk about verbalization as a technique for communication. Some books talk about it as a thinking method to organize your mind. Some books talk about it as a way to handle worries and emotions, and others go as far as to approach the fundamental question of "what is language" in the first place.

And as I read through many books, I realized one thing.

Verbalization is not just a "technique for speaking well."

It is about knowing what you are feeling. It is about giving shape to the vague things in your mind. It is about converting them into a form that can be understood by others. It is about identifying the true nature of your worries. And ultimately, it is about becoming able to speak about "how you want to live" in your own words.

In other words, verbalization is not only a communication technique, but also a thinking technique, a self-understanding technique, and a technique for choosing how to live your life.

So this time, I have organized the knowledge and discoveries I gained while reading through these books on verbalization into seven chapters.

Of course, this does not cover the content of every single book. Based on the insights I gained from each one, and incorporating my own interpretations and experiences, I will delve into "what exactly is verbalization" and "how can one become a person who can put things into words."

If you feel like, "I understand it in my head, but I can't put it into words well," "I don't really know what I'm thinking myself," or "I want to be able to convey my thoughts to others in my own words more effectively," then please read until the end.

Now that I have finished reading many books, there is something I think.

Verbalization is not just for the sake of conveying things well to someone else.

It is also an act of going to find the version of yourself that has not yet been put into words.

Chapter 1 | People who are bad at verbalization just have a "traffic jam" in their heads

"It's in my head, but I can't put it into words well." When you are suddenly asked for your opinion in a meeting, or when your boss asks, "So, what does that mean in the end?" even though you have been thinking about it in your own way, the words just don't come out. I think there are quite a few people who have had that experience.

It is not that you are not thinking about anything.
On the contrary, there is a lot of information in your head. 'I want to convey this too,' 'I have to explain that background or I'll be misunderstood,' 'But I also need this premise.' As a result, multiple thoughts head for the exit at once, and you end up not knowing where to start.

I think of this state as a 'thought traffic jam'.
It is not that you cannot speak because you lack words; it is that there is too much in your head and it is not organized. In other words, the true nature of the problem of 'being bad at verbalization' may not be a lack of vocabulary, but a lack of the skills to separate, arrange, and structure your thoughts.

In his book 'The Ability to Put Things into Words Becomes a Weapon,' Satoshi Umeda presents the idea that words include not only 'outward-facing words' used to address others, but also 'inner words' used to have a dialogue with oneself.

In short, what you should review when you cannot convey things well is not your way of speaking, but what you are thinking about within yourself.

What Toshiya Araki's books, 'How to Verbalize Your Thoughts' and 'People Who Can Instantly Verbalize Succeed,' also have in common is that verbalization is not the ability to suddenly come up with the perfect words.

You take the vague sensations in your head, put them out, ask questions, and give them shape little by little. That accumulation becomes words.

For example, suppose your boss asks, 'How was yesterday's business meeting?'
If you explain everything in chronological order from the beginning of the meeting, the other person will eventually ask, 'So, how did it go in the end?' What is needed is not the volume of information. It is a structure like, 'The probability of receiving an order is high. However, there are concerns about the price.'

This is the essence of verbalization.
Instead of saying everything you know, you convert it into a form that the other person can understand. Instead of handing over 100 pieces of information as they are, you organize them by saying, 'Broadly speaking, there are three points.' Verbalization skill is more about the power to bring order to information than the power to increase it.

In Taichi Kogure's 'Amazing Verbalization,' the important thing in finding 'words that get through' is not simply looking for beautiful expressions.
Who are you telling, what are you telling them, and what kind of reaction do you want to create? If the purpose remains vague, no matter how many words you pile up, it will be difficult for them to reach the other person.

The worse people are at verbalization, the more they add information, thinking, 'I must explain in more detail.' Serious people, in particular, think, 'If I omit it, it will be inaccurate' or 'I don't want to be misunderstood.' But ironically, the more you add to your explanation, the harder it becomes to see what you really wanted to convey.

The amount of information conveyed is not the same as the amount of information received. Just because you said 10 things does not mean 10 things were conveyed. In fact, as a result of handing over 10 things at once, sometimes nothing remains in the other person's head. Verbalization is not just addition; it is also subtraction—deciding what to keep and what to discard.

The power to put things into words is not a special ability for only a few talented people.
Observe, think, organize, and convert into appropriate words. In other words, verbalization is not determined solely by innate sense, but is a skill that can be trained.

That is why you do not need to conclude that 'I am bad at verbalization.' It may not be that there is nothing in your head, but that it is just not organized yet. It may not be that the words won't come out, but that many thoughts are just pushing toward the exit at the same time.

First, get what is in your head out.
It does not have to be correct sentences. Bullet points, scribbles, or voice input are fine. Then, ask yourself, 'What is similar?', 'What are the main categories?', and 'What is the one thing I really want to convey?'

And now, you have a powerful partner for this task: AI.
You can hand over unorganized thoughts as they are and ask it to 'organize the points,' 'classify them into three,' or 'ask me questions to find out what I really want to say.' Making it create a finished text is not the only way to use AI.

Rather, the true value of AI lies in reflecting your own thoughts that you do not even understand yet. AI is not just a substitute for thinking of answers; it can also be a mirror that reflects the inside of your head. Future verbalization skills will include the ability to deepen your own thoughts while using AI.

People who are good at verbalization are not people who come up with beautiful words from the start. They are people who can take information out of a chaotic head one by one, separate it, arrange it, trim it, and convert it into a form that reaches the other person. If you acquire that skill, words will gradually become your own weapon.

Therefore, what you need is not to memorize more difficult words. It is not to speak faster. First, it is to untangle the traffic jam in your head.

Separate. Arrange. Trim.

Verbalization starts there.

Chapter 2 | Those who leave their 'vague feelings' unaddressed will end up living their lives using other people's words

'I feel like something is off,' 'I'm feeling uneasy for some reason,' 'I can't explain it well, but I don't like it.'
We often use these kinds of vague expressions in our daily lives. However, it is precisely within this 'vague feeling' that the values a person truly cherishes, or the honest feelings they haven't even realized themselves yet, may be hidden.

For example, you don't have any major complaints about your job. Your salary isn't bad. You are blessed with good relationships. Yet, you feel depressed on Sunday nights. If someone asks, 'Do you want to change jobs?', you can't quite say that. You just can't shake the feeling that something is wrong with the way things are. This, too, is a thought before it has been put into words.

Many people deal with this discomfort by saying, 'Well, that's just how work is.' Or, they try to convince themselves by borrowing words commonly used in society, such as 'Everyone else is putting up with it' or 'I'm actually quite fortunate.'

But is that really an answer you came up with yourself?

When a state of being unable to verbalize continues for a long time, people begin to use words prepared by others to explain their own lives. 'Because it's a stable company,' 'Because I'm at this age now,' 'Because I have a family,' 'Because that's what people normally do.' The words themselves are not wrong. The important thing is whether those are truly words you have thought through yourself.

We think we are living our own lives, but in reality, our lives are sometimes determined by words borrowed from society.
'You'll be safe if you join a large corporation,' 'It's hard to change jobs after 35,' 'Becoming a manager is success,' 'Getting married and having a family is happiness.'

Even if those are the right answers for someone else, they are not necessarily your right answers.

That is precisely why you must not treat the feeling of 'vague' carelessly. 'I don't like it for some reason' is just a low-resolution message from yourself, but it is a valid one. Deep down, there may be wishes such as 'I actually want to take on more challenges,' 'I want to make my own decisions,' 'I want to be appreciated,' or 'I want to feel that I am useful to someone.'

One of the important perspectives learned from Taichi Kogure's 'Amazing Verbalization: How to Find "Words That Get Through" in an Instant' is not to let the vague feelings inside you end as vague words. To find words that convey your meaning, you need to dig specifically into what you are truly feeling and what you want to communicate.

'I hate this company' doesn't tell us anything yet.
Is it that you hate that your boss's instructions are vague? Is it that you hate not being evaluated despite your efforts? Is it painful that you cannot make your own decisions? Or, is it that you don't actually hate the company, but are anxious because you don't feel like you are growing? The more you break down your words, the more the true nature of the problem becomes visible.

For example, the phrase 'I want to work more freely' is also dangerous.
Do you want freedom of time? Do you want freedom of location? Do you want to decide the content of your work yourself? Do you just want to get away from a boss you dislike? Even with the same word 'freedom,' the job and environment you should choose change completely depending on what you are truly seeking.

In other words, if you try to change your life while the resolution of your words is low, you will end up trying to solve the wrong problems. If you 'quit your job because you hated being a company employee,' but what you really hated was the instability of your income, you might find yourself in an even more difficult situation after becoming independent. If you misidentify what you are suffering from, the solutions will naturally be off-target as well.

I believe that verbalization is also 'a technique for converting emotions into manageable problems.' You cannot deal with vague feelings as they are.
However, if you can put it into words like 'I feel stressed in an environment where I cannot make my own decisions,' concrete options emerge, such as changing the environment, increasing your level of autonomy, or talking to your boss.

The phrase 'I'm anxious about the future' is the same.
What are you anxious about? Is it money, career, loneliness, or health? If you can put it into words like 'I'm anxious if my salary is the same three years from now,' you can finally think about actions to increase your income. Vague anxiety stops people, but concrete anxiety can move people.

'My relationships are painful' is also still too broad a term. Who is the relationship with that is painful? What kind of words hurt you when they are said? What do you expect from the other person? If you break it down this far, the problem changes from a giant lump called 'relationships' into a manageable theme called 'a gap in expectations with a specific person.'

The important thing here is not to try to find the 'correct' words from the beginning. Without denying the feeling of 'I don't like it for some reason,' first try placing a temporary word. Then, by repeating questions like 'What specifically do I dislike?', 'Since when have I felt this way?', and 'Conversely, what would make me happy?', you can update your words little by little.

Verbalization is not the task of having a completed answer in your head and pulling it out neatly. Rather, it is a process of discovering answers you didn't even know yourself while asking yourself questions. Instead of saying 'I'll talk once I've organized my thoughts,' sometimes thoughts are only born by trying to put them into words.

For example, if you ask someone who says, 'I'm dissatisfied with my current job,' 'What exactly are you dissatisfied with?', they might not be able to answer immediately. However, if you ask, 'What was the moment you felt most frustrated recently?', 'Conversely, what work made you lose track of time?', or 'Have you ever felt envious of someone?', their true feelings will gradually emerge.

In fact, the emotion of 'envy' is a powerful hint for understanding your true feelings. When we feel uneasy seeing someone else succeed, we tend to deny ourselves by thinking, 'I have a bad personality.' However, hidden deep within that emotion might be an unacknowledged desire, such as 'I actually want to take on challenges too' or 'I want to be recognized.'

Anger is the same. Why did that one remark make you angry? 'Because I felt I was being treated lightly,' 'Because I felt my efforts were being dismissed,' or 'Because it touched on a part of myself I was actually worried about.' Instead of trying to erase the anger itself, think about what that emotion is trying to protect.

There is something to be careful about when putting your emotions into words. It is not to turn verbalization into a 'technique for justifying yourself.' The better you become at using words, the better you become at creating stories that are convenient for you. 'The company is bad,' 'My boss doesn't understand me,' 'I wasn't blessed with a good environment.' Is that really all there is to it?

The purpose of verbalization is not to make yourself feel comfortably convinced. Sometimes, you may encounter a version of yourself you would rather not see, such as 'I was also part of the cause,' 'I was actually just scared and running away,' or 'While I said I wanted to take on challenges, I didn't want to bear the risk of failure.' Even so, it is worth putting into words.

This is because if you keep lying to yourself, your life's decision-making will also go off track. If you say on the surface, 'I can't do it because I'm busy,' but in your heart you are thinking, 'I'm afraid of failing and being embarrassed,' then learning time management techniques won't solve the problem. You are solving the wrong problem.

That is why I recommend that when the word 'vague' comes up, you ask yourself one more question: 'What do you mean by vague, specifically?' Just that is enough. It's okay if you don't get an answer right away. The act of continuing to hold the question is itself the act of getting closer to your true feelings.

And now, you can also use AI as an 'interviewer for yourself.' 'I felt uneasy today because my boss said this to me. I don't even know the reason myself. Please ask me one question at a time to help me identify the cause.' If you ask this, you can dig deeper into emotions you couldn't even see yourself through dialogue with the AI.

However, you must not leave it entirely to the AI by saying, 'Tell me my true feelings.' This is because the AI has not lived your life. What the AI can do is return questions, show possibilities, and organize your thoughts. In the end, you must be the one to decide, 'This is my true feeling.'

Verbalization is not about finding the one and only correct answer within yourself. It is the work of setting a tentative word like 'This is how I feel right now,' doubting it repeatedly, and updating it. It is okay if the answer you give today is different from the answer you give a year from now. This is because humans change through experience.

People who do not leave 'vague' feelings alone will gradually be able to name their emotions. If you can name your emotions, you will be able to see what you value. And if you know what you value, you will be able to choose with your own words in important life situations, rather than using someone else's correct answer.

Not 'Because that's normal,' but 'This is what I want to do.' Not 'Because everyone else is putting up with it,' but 'I feel uncomfortable here.' Not 'I just don't like it,' but 'I find it painful to be in a state where I cannot choose for myself.' As the resolution of your words increases, the outline of yourself will also become clearer.

Verbalization is not just a communication skill. It is a technique for knowing your emotions, finding your values, and choosing your life by your own will. And it is also a small but certain resistance against living your life with words prepared by others.

Within 'vague' feelings, there are your true feelings that have not yet become words. Do not treat that voice carelessly. Do not overwrite it with forced positive words. And do not let yourself be silenced by a correct answer prepared by someone else.

To live your life in your own words.

Chapter 3 | The more you try to 'wait until your thoughts are organized to speak,' the more the words will never come out

'I will speak after I have organized my thoughts a bit more'
'I haven't been able to organize it within myself yet'
'I don't have the confidence to put it into words well, so I'll stop for now'

I think many people have said these words. However, in reality, the order of 'organizing your thoughts before putting them into words' can sometimes make verbalization difficult.

We tend to think that verbalization means taking a fully formed thought in our head and converting it into appropriate words. However, actual thinking is not that orderly. Emotions, memories, discomfort, someone else's words, past experiences—various fragments mix together and drift through our minds, still nameless.

That is why, if you wait to speak until you have everything perfectly organized, that day will rarely come. What is actually needed is to try putting it into words while it is still incomplete. It is perfectly fine to use prefaces like, 'I can't explain this well yet,' 'This is just a hypothesis,' or 'This is how I feel at the moment.'

The moment you put it into words, your thoughts appear before you for the first time. Then, you can start to revise them, thinking, 'No, that's not quite right,' 'This is what I really wanted to say,' or 'This part feels strangely right.' In other words, verbalization is not the act of presenting finished thoughts, but the act of bringing thoughts closer to completion.

For example, suppose someone feels like they want to quit their current job. But when asked for the reason, they cannot answer. They don't even know themselves, wondering, 'Is it because I'm busy?' 'Is it the interpersonal relationships?' or 'Is it the salary?' Even so, as they put it into words one by one, they might suddenly realize, 'Oh, what's painful is that I don't feel expected to do anything.'

At that moment, the problem is no longer 'whether to quit or continue the job.' What they really need to face might be deeper questions, such as 'Why do I feel like I'm not expected to do anything?' 'Am I really not expected to?' or 'Under what conditions would I feel needed?' When the words change, the problem itself changes.

One of the important things to learn from Toshiya Araki's 'How to Verbalize Your Thoughts' is that verbalization is not a talent, but a technique for digging out what is in your head through specific questions.

Instead of continuing the vague act of 'thinking,' by asking yourself questions and bringing them out as words, your thoughts begin to take shape.

Even people who cannot answer when asked, 'What do you think?' can surprisingly find words when asked, 'What part bothered you the most?' 'Where did you feel uncomfortable?' or 'What would you change if it were you?' It is not that people don't have thoughts; it is often that they don't have the right questions to draw those thoughts out.

I believe that the less confident people are in verbalizing, the more they should train their 'ability to ask' before their 'ability to answer.' This is because good words are born from good questions. Instead of stopping at 'What do I want to do?', you should make the questions specific, such as 'What am I afraid of losing?' or 'Whose opinion am I worried about?'

For example, if you are worried about whether to change jobs, the question 'Should I change jobs?' is not enough. 'What can I gain if I stay at my current company for another three years?' 'Conversely, what will I lose?' 'Would I want to change jobs even if the salary were the same?' 'Would I want to do that work even if no one evaluated me?' When the questions change, the true feelings that emerge also change.

It is not just about your career. The same applies to human relationships. Instead of ending with 'I hate that person,' dig deeper by asking, 'What specifically did they do that made me feel disgusted?' 'Would I be angry if someone else did the same thing?' or 'What did I actually expect from that person?' Then, you may find that expectations or loneliness are hidden behind the feeling of disgust.

What is especially important is to separate 'facts' from 'interpretations.' The statement 'My boss doesn't evaluate me' already contains an interpretation. What are the facts? 'My proposal was not adopted at the meeting,' 'I haven't had a raise in six months.' It is possible that you are interpreting these as 'I am not being evaluated.'

Of course, that interpretation might be correct. However, if you confuse facts with interpretations, you won't know what you are actually hurt by. Just separating 'what happened,' 'how you received it,' and 'what emotions were born' can significantly organize the confusion in your head.

For example, suppose you have the worry, 'The reply to my LINE message is slow. Therefore, I am not valued.' The fact is, 'There has been no reply to the message I sent yesterday for 24 hours.' The interpretation is, 'I am not valued.' The emotions are, 'lonely,' 'anxious,' and 'angry.' These three are essentially separate things.

Once you can understand this difference, you can avoid denying your own emotions while also avoiding the assumption that your interpretation is an absolute fact. Even just saying, 'I feel like I am not valued right now. But I don't know if that is a fact yet,' can significantly change the distance between you and your emotions.

Verbalization is not a technique for erasing emotions. It is not about putting a lid on them by saying 'I shouldn't be angry' when you are, or forcibly overwriting them by saying 'Let's think positively' when you are sad. Rather, it is a technique for observing the emotions that exist within you as accurately as possible.

Instead of ending with 'I'm annoyed,' try saying, 'I feel frustrated because I feel like my efforts were treated lightly.' Instead of ending with 'anxious,' try saying, 'I'm afraid of being left behind.' Instead of ending with 'I hate my job,' try saying, 'I can't stand the feeling that my growth has stopped.'

The more specific your words become, the more you can see where you are truly suffering. And once you know the location of your worries, you can finally choose the appropriate action. If it is painful to have your efforts treated lightly, what you need might not be a job change, but to confirm the evaluation criteria. If you are afraid of being left behind, it might be time to change who you compare yourself to.

Conversely, if your words remain vague, your actions will also be vague. 'I want to grow more,' 'I want to live like myself,' 'I want to be happy.' These are all beautiful words, but as they are, you don't know what to do. What do growth, being yourself, and happiness mean to you? Only when you put that into words does it turn into action.

Here, I would like you to try one thing. When you have a vague feeling in your head, instead of trying to come up with an answer immediately, try the method of 'writing down 10 words that are currently in your head.' You don't need to make them into correct sentences. 'Tired,' 'company,' 'future,' 'impatience,' 'money.' Just words are fine.

Next, choose one word from those ten that you are curious about for some reason. Then, ask yourself, 'Why am I curious about this word?' Keep asking 'Why?' to the answers that emerge. You may find that what started as a worry about being 'busy at work' leads you to a completely different place.

For example, starting with 'I'm busy at work,' you might dig deeper: 'Why do I hate being busy?' 'Because I don't have time for myself.' 'Why do I need time for myself?' 'Because I want to start something new.' 'Why do you want to start it?' Beyond that, a hidden truth might emerge: 'I'm afraid that my life will end without me ever becoming anyone.'

Once you reach this point, the problem is no longer just about being 'busy.' While it may be necessary to reduce your workload, what you really need to face are the questions: 'Who do I want to become?' and 'Why do I feel that who I am now is not enough?' Beneath superficial worries, other concerns are often hidden.

That is why I believe that 'time spent worrying' and 'time spent facing your worries' are two different things. Repeating the same thing in your head for hours is not necessarily thinking. If you are just repeating 'What should I do?', 'I'm in trouble,' or 'I'm anxious,' you are just spinning in the same place in your mind.

Facing your worries means introducing new questions into that loop. 'What am I afraid of?', 'What is the worst that could happen?', 'Will that really happen?', 'What can I do if it does?', 'Conversely, what will happen if I do nothing?' Through questions, you move your stalled thinking forward.

And you don't need to seek a perfect answer here. It is okay to use words like 'maybe,' 'perhaps,' or 'for now.' 'Maybe I'm more afraid of others seeing me fail than I am of the failure itself.' Even a hypothesis of that level is a huge step forward compared to a state where nothing has been put into words.

You may not discover your true feelings with a single attempt at verbalization. You might think 'I hate my job' yesterday, but realize today that 'maybe it's not the company, but my role that I dislike.' The next day, it might change to 'maybe it's not the role, but the feeling of not being expected by anyone.' That is perfectly fine.

Words are not things to be completed, but things to be updated. Try placing the words that are closest to your current self. If they feel off, rewrite them. Through that repetition, your thoughts will gradually become clearer. People who are good at verbalization are not those who can say the right thing from the start.

Rather, they are people who can doubt their own words again and again. 'Is that really true?', 'Is there a more accurate word?', 'Am I hiding something?' Because they keep asking those questions, the resolution of their words increases. And those words eventually become the criteria for making decisions in your life.

Therefore, you don't need to wait, thinking, 'I'll talk once I've organized my thoughts.' If they aren't organized, just talk while they are still unorganized. You can search for words while saying, 'I can't explain it well, but...' That incomplete remark is the entrance to starting your thinking process.

Put it into words, and if it's wrong, correct it. Write it down, and if it feels off, erase it. Talk to someone, and realize, 'That's not what I meant.' All of that is also verbalization. It is not a failure. In fact, that sense of discomfort is proof that you are getting closer to your true feelings.

We do not think and then put it into words.

We are thinking while we put it into words.

Try putting the vague sensations in your head out into the world while they are still incomplete. Look at those words, doubt them, question them, and put them into words again. At the end of that repetition, there is a moment where you can finally encounter the thought, 'So this is what I was thinking.'

You don't have to keep silent, waiting for the perfect words.

It is okay if your first words are wrong.

Your thinking only begins to move the moment you put it into words.

Chapter 4 | If you can't find the words, it's not because of a lack of vocabulary, but a lack of 'thinking power'.

“That person is a good speaker,” or “I can’t explain things well because I lack vocabulary.” When we get stuck for words, we tend to blame our lack of speaking skills or vocabulary. But is that really the case? People who know many difficult words don't necessarily move people's hearts.

In fact, the words that stay with us are surprisingly simple. “This is what I think,” “This is the one thing I won’t compromise on,” “Honestly, I was frustrated.” There are no complex expressions there. Yet, they resonate because behind those words lies the depth of thought that the person has spent a long time considering, struggling with, and facing.

When we can't find the words, we look for answers outside ourselves, wondering, “Is there a better way to express this?” We search online, imitate someone else’s phrasing, or ask AI to “verbalize this nicely.” That in itself isn't bad. However, as long as what you want to convey remains vague, even the most beautiful words are just borrowed.

An important perspective taught by Satoshi Umeda’s book, '“Words Can Be a Weapon,”' is that words are not born suddenly; they are born after you face the “inner words” within yourself. Before polishing the outward-facing words to convey to others, you must deepen the dialogue with yourself.

For example, when you think, “I want to quit my job,” you don’t need to immediately summarize your reasons for leaving neatly. Why do you want to quit? What do you dislike? When did you start feeling this way? What are the reasons you are still staying? Do you really want to quit the company, or do you want to change yourself? First, keep asking yourself these questions.

The phrase “I want to grow” is the same. What would you be able to do that would count as growth? Is it getting a higher salary? Is it getting a promotion? Is it being able to make decisions on your own? Is it being needed by someone? The moment you use a convenient word like “growth,” aren't you stopping your thinking?

We are surrounded by convenient words that stop our thinking: “being myself,” “fulfillment,” “challenge,” “happiness,” “career advancement,” and “growth.” These are all important words, but because their meanings are so broad, using them as they are can sometimes hide what you are truly seeking.

Therefore, when abstract words come up, try asking again: “What does ‘being myself’ look like specifically?” “When was the last time you felt ‘fulfillment’?” “What would you be able to do that would make you say you’ve ‘grown’?” With this extra step, words that were borrowed begin to turn into your own words.

People with depth in their words do not necessarily have a rich vocabulary. They have thought about one thing longer, deeper, and more persistently than others. “Why?” “Really?” “Specifically?” “Is that a fact?” “What am I deceiving myself about?” The number of times you repeat these questions becomes the depth of your words.

I believe that words are like “compressed files” of thought. Even a single word can reach someone’s heart if there are 100 hours of thought behind it. Conversely, no matter how fluently you speak for 10 minutes, if you haven't thought deeply about it, nothing may remain with the listener.

For example, a business owner says, “I will create a company that values people.” If that’s all they say, many companies claim the same. However, if they can go as far as to say, “We do not lay off people, especially when business is bad. To ensure that, we keep fixed costs at this level during normal times,” then the words become a philosophy, and the philosophy becomes a decision.

The same applies to HR. It is easy to say, “We support employee growth” or “We will create a company that is easy to work for.” But what is growth? For whom is it easy to work? Do you protect those who don't produce results? If the company’s growth and an individual’s wishes collide, what do you prioritize? Only after thinking that far does a soul reside in the words.

In other words, truly strong words are not words that sound pleasant. They are words where it is clear “what you choose and what you discard.” If you say you value everything, you might not hurt anyone. But that is the same as deciding nothing at all. Words with intent always involve a choice.

And to think things through, you must not run away from questions that are inconvenient for you. “Is the company really at fault?” “Did I put in my full effort?” “Am I not wanting to take on a challenge, but just wanting to escape from where I am now?” These questions are painful, but sometimes your true feelings can only be found beyond that pain.

In the age of AI, this power becomes even more important. AI can polish sentences and suggest attractive expressions. However, it cannot be the final answerer to questions like “What do you value?” “What would you be willing to lose to protect?” or “Why do you want to convey that?”

In fact, precisely because AI has made it easy for anyone to create “plausible-sounding words,” what will be questioned from now on is whether there is genuine thought behind those words. The difference between writing that is beautiful but leaves nothing behind and writing that is clumsy but pierces the heart is not expressive power, but the depth of thought.

So, when you can’t find the words, you don’t have to give up immediately by saying, “I lack vocabulary.” Before opening a dictionary, try throwing questions into your inner self: “What do I really want to say?” “Why do I want to say it?” “If I could only leave one thing that I want to convey most, what would it be?”

The words that emerge after thinking things through might be surprisingly simple.

“I was frustrated.”

“I was scared.”

"I actually wanted to be acknowledged."

"Even so, I want to take on the challenge."

But that is perfectly fine.

The value of words is not determined by their complexity. It is determined by how much you have faced yourself before arriving at those words. Vocabulary can decorate your words, but it cannot think for you.

Therefore, if you want words that convey meaning, you must first think.

A little longer than others. A little deeper. And a little more persistently.

Only beyond that thinking will your own words, not borrowed ones, finally be born.

Chapter 5 | Those who can put things into words can change reality

"I understand it in my head, but I can't explain it well." You hear this in both work and daily life. However, to put it bluntly, if you cannot put it into words, there is a possibility that you do not fully understand it yourself yet. This is because the things you truly understand can be explained surprisingly simply.

And things that cannot be put into words cannot be shared with others. No matter how wonderful an idea you have, if it only exists in your head, no one can act on it. "I want to build this kind of company," "I want to create this kind of product," "I want to live this kind of life." The moment you put that into words, sharing with others begins for the first time.

Dreams are the same. In a state of "I want to do something big someday," those around you don't know how to support you. However, if you put it into words like, "By the time I'm 30, I want to create a company where young people working in rural areas can take on challenges without having to go to Tokyo," people can finally start thinking about concrete ways to cooperate.

Words have the power to turn things that only existed in your head into things that others can touch. Thoughts become words, words are shared, people gather, and action is born. Through that accumulation, a future that did not yet exist gradually becomes reality.

An important perspective learned from Takahiro Miura's "The Power of Verbalization: If You Can Put It Into Words, Your Life Will Change" is that words are not just tools for explanation, but can be a force that moves reality.
What do you think, what do you desire, and what kind of future do you want to realize?
The more you can put that into words, the more you can involve those around you.

For example, if a manager says, "I want to grow the company," employees don't know what they should do.
Even saying, "I aim for 10 billion yen in sales in three years," is insufficient.
Why 10 billion yen? What do you want to realize beyond that? What kind of changes do you want to create for customers, employees, and society? It is also words that give meaning to numbers.

An excellent vision is not about pretty words.
It is words that make the listener think, "I want to see that future too." And an even stronger vision makes them think, "I want to be in that future as well." When a company's goal overlaps with one's own personal story, people exert more power than they were instructed to.

This is not just a story about organizations. It is the same in an individual's life. "I want to be happy," "I want to grow more," "I want to live freely." Just wishing for these things doesn't tell you what to choose. What is happiness to you? When do you feel growth? What are you becoming free from when you say freedom?

Someone who says "I want to be free" might really be seeking freedom of time. It might be freedom of location. It might be financial freedom, or it might be freedom from the evaluations of others. Even if they use the same words, the future that person wants to realize is completely different.

That is precisely why you need to question the words you use.
"Do I really seek freedom?" "What specifically does growth mean in terms of what changes?" "What do I want to obtain if I succeed?"
The more you concretize abstract words, the clearer the direction you should head becomes.

And putting things into words also has the power to create resolve.
As long as you are thinking "I want to try it someday" in your head, you won't be troubled even if you do nothing. However, the moment you say, "I will quit my job and become independent by next April," a gap is created between those words and your current location.

That difference is what moves people. What should be prepared? How much savings are needed? What skills are lacking? Who should I consult? The moment a vague wish like 'someday' becomes a word with a deadline, a dream finally turns into a plan.

Of course, putting things into words doesn't mean everything will come true. If you chant 'I will earn 100 million yen a year' every day, 100 million yen won't suddenly be deposited into your bank account. It is not that words alone change reality, but because words change what you see, what you choose, and how you act, reality changes as a result.

For example, someone who decides 'I will become a person who creates new businesses' might start looking for business hints in news they previously skipped over. When they meet people, they might start thinking, 'What can I do with this person?' Words change the lens through which you view your world.

On the other hand, the words you use on yourself can also close off possibilities. 'I have no talent,' 'I'm not young anymore,' 'I'm bad at speaking in front of people,' 'I'm not a leader type.' Words repeated over and over eventually become not just impressions, but rules that bind you.

The problem is making those words part of your identity without verifying if they are actually true. 'I'm bad at speaking in front of people' might be a phrase born from a single past failure. 'I'm not a leader type' might be an assumption that a leader is someone with a loud voice.

Changing the words you use for yourself won't solve everything. However, at the very least, you shouldn't have to close off your own possibilities from the start with your own words. Instead of 'I can't do it because I'm bad at it,' try 'I'm not used to it yet, so I'll practice.' When your words change, your next actions change too.

I believe that life is a accumulation of countless decisions.
Should I change jobs or stay? Should I take on a challenge or give up? Who should I associate with? What should I learn? Where should I spend my time? And behind those decisions, there are always the 'words' you believe in yourself.

A person who believes in the phrase 'stability is important' and a person who believes 'not taking risks is the biggest risk' will choose different paths even in the same situation. It's not about which one is correct. What is important is to know what words you believe in and where those words are trying to take you.

Therefore, when you want to change your life, you don't need to take big actions all of a sudden. First, try putting into words the kind of life you want to lead from now on. Think not only about 'what you want to do,' but also 'why you want to do it,' 'who you want to realize it with,' and 'what you are willing to lose to protect it.'

Then, try telling those words to someone. Try writing them on paper. Read them over and over, and if something feels off, correct it. Keep questioning, 'Are these really my own words?' The words that remain in the end will become more than just goals; they will become the judgment criteria that guide you when you are lost.

A dream that cannot be put into words is still just your own.

A dream that has been put into words can be shared with someone.

A shared dream creates the possibility of people gathering.

When people gather, action is born.

And beyond the accumulation of actions, reality begins to change.

That is why you should put it into words.

They don't have to be perfect words. It's okay if they change along the way. It's okay if no one understands at first. Even so, try speaking about where you want to go in your own words.

Words are not magic that guarantees the future.

However, they can be a map for taking the first step toward a future that does not yet exist.

And sometimes, that one word becomes the beginning of moving not just your own heart, but someone else's, creating allies, and bringing forth a reality you have never seen before.

Chapter 6 | The more you cannot put your worries into words, the more they torment you

People are not necessarily suffering from the events themselves. "I don't know what I dislike," "I don't know why I feel so uneasy," "I don't feel like things are fine as they are, but I don't know what to change."

Sometimes we are tormented for a long time by emotions whose true nature we cannot see.

My job is tough. My relationships are painful. I'm anxious about the future. I lack self-confidence. At first glance, these words seem to verbalize our worries. But in reality, we have only just reached the entrance. Unless we dig deeper into "what is tough about the job" or "what kind of relationship with whom is painful," the real problem will not come into view.

For example, suppose someone says, "I want to quit my company."
But do they really want to quit the company? Perhaps they want to get away from their relationship with their boss. Perhaps they don't feel any meaning in the work itself. Perhaps it is painful not to be appreciated, or perhaps they are simply exhausted.

Even with the same words, "I want to quit my company," if the location of the worry is different, the necessary solution changes completely.
If the cause is the relationship with the boss, there is the option of a transfer. If it is the work content, there is a way to change the job type. If the cause is fatigue, what is needed might not be job-hunting, but first getting enough rest.

Yet, we try to find answers immediately without sufficiently verbalizing our worries.
"Should I change jobs?" "Should I break up?" "Should I start a business?" However, if the question is wrong, no matter how much advice you get from excellent people, you will not reach the correct answer.

That is precisely why problem setting is necessary before problem solving.
What am I suffering from right now? When does my heart move significantly? What am I actually afraid of? And what would it take for me to say, "This worry has been resolved"? Before looking for answers, you must first make the question accurate.

One important perspective that can be learned from Shion Kabasawa's "The Magic of Verbalization: If You Put It Into Words, Your 'Worries' Will Disappear" is the power of putting the worries in your head into words and bringing them out. The more you keep thinking about a worry only inside your head, the more it grows, becomes complex, and turns into something you cannot handle yourself.

When you are thinking alone at night, your anxiety can sometimes expand rapidly.
"What if I don't get results at work like this?" "What if my evaluation drops?" "What if I lose my place in the company?" "What if I change jobs and it doesn't go well?" One anxiety calls for the next.

However, what if you write it down on paper?
"Right now, what I am most anxious about is being judged as lacking results in the next evaluation." Even just one sentence is fine. The huge, unidentified anxiety appears before your eyes as a single concrete problem. Only then can you think, "So, what can I do?"

Confirm expectations with your boss. Organize the results for this term. Identify missing skills. Investigate the possibility of a transfer to another department. Try checking your value in the job market. You cannot touch anxiety before it becomes words, but you can link concrete actions to a problem that has been put into words.

I believe that the state of "having a worry in your head" and the state of "facing a worry" are completely different things.
Just because you are thinking about it all day long does not necessarily mean you are facing it. If you are just replaying the same anxiety over and over, that is not thinking, it might be rumination.

Truly facing a worry means continuing to ask, "What am I troubled by?" "Why is that a problem?" "What is fact, and what is my own interpretation?" "What can I change myself?"
Instead of just staring at the worry, you break it down, give it a name, and shrink it to a size you can handle.

For example, the worry of "anxiety about the future" is too big as it is. Is it money, work, health, or relationships? Are you anxious about a year from now, or about your old age? What are you most afraid will happen? The more you repeat the questions, the more the outline of the vague anxiety comes into view.

And what is interesting is that the moment you can accurately put a worry into words, your heart can feel a little lighter just from that. "Ah, I wasn't afraid of failure, I was afraid of being thought of as incompetent by those around me because of failing." When you discover your true feelings like this, the distance to the worry changes.

"I don't hate my job. I'm tired of an environment where no one recognizes me even if I try hard." "I don't want to not get married. I'm afraid of losing my freedom." "I'm not afraid of taking on a challenge. I'm afraid that I won't be able to forgive myself if I fail."

This discovery of "actually, it wasn't X, it was Y" is the great power of verbalization. You realize that the problem you thought you were worried about is different from the problem you were really suffering from. The moment that happens, you begin to see options that were previously invisible.

That is why, when you feel uneasy, you don't need to reach a conclusion right away. First, put it into words. 'What is bothering me right now?', 'At what moment did I feel the most uncomfortable?', 'What did I actually want to say?', 'What am I afraid of losing?'. Keep asking yourself these questions.

Putting things into words is not about justifying yourself. Sometimes, inconvenient truths about yourself will emerge. 'I was actually jealous,' 'I wanted to be recognized,' 'I wanted to run away,' 'I wanted to blame someone else.' Putting even those feelings into words is the beginning of self-understanding.

They don't have to be beautiful words. You don't need to show them to anyone. Before judging yourself by thinking, 'I'm a terrible person for feeling this way,' first try to put the existing emotion into words exactly as it is. By giving a name to an emotion, you create a little distance between yourself and that emotion for the first time.

And that distance creates options. Being a person who feels anger is different from the state of 'being anger itself.' If you can put it into words by saying, 'I am angry right now,' you create room to choose how to handle that anger. Words also serve as a foothold to keep you from being swallowed by your emotions.

Having worries is not a failure in life. Rather, a worry is a sign that there is some kind of gap between your values and reality. It is precisely because you have a wish of 'how you truly want to be' that you suffer from the difference with reality.

So, when you are worried, try asking yourself this:

'What is this worry telling me that I truly want to value?'

Worrying about work might be because you want to grow. Worrying about relationships might be because you want to connect deeply with others. Being anxious about the future might be because you want to cherish your own life.

Before trying to make your worries disappear, try putting into words what the worries are trying to tell you. Deep within those words, there may be wishes or values sleeping that you hadn't even realized yourself.

A worry that cannot be put into words is like being in the dark. It is scary because you don't know what is there. You cannot move because you don't know which way to go. However, if you give them words one by one, the outlines will gradually become visible.

And once the outline is visible, you can face it.

You can break it down.

You can make a choice.

You can move forward.

Articulation is not a magic spell that makes all worries disappear in an instant.

However, it has the power to turn suffering whose true nature you don't understand into a 'question' that you can face.

When you can't find an answer, don't rush to find one.

First, put into words what you are actually worried about.

The answer that changes your life will only appear after you have found the right question.

Chapter 7 | Life Begins After You Let Go of Borrowed Words

We live surrounded by a multitude of words every day.
Open social media, and someone's formula for success flows by. Read a book, and you encounter the author's life philosophy. Go to the office, and words like vision, mission, goals, and evaluation fly about. Before you know it, even your own mind is filled with someone else's words.

'Make what you love your job,' 'It's okay to run away from things you dislike,' 'Effort is always rewarded,' 'You only live once,' 'Live like yourself.' None of these are wrong. In fact, they are words that have saved many people. However, that does not necessarily mean they apply to your own life.

For example, there is the phrase, 'It's okay to run away from things you dislike.'

For some, it might be a life-saving phrase.
On the other hand, for someone who has repeatedly run away, it can become an excuse to keep running even further.

Even with the same words, the meaning changes depending on who receives them, when, and in what situation.

Therefore, what is important is not collecting 'correct words.' It is thinking about whether those words truly have meaning for your own life. It is not because someone else said so, but continuing to ask, 'What do I think?' It is not because society says this, but continuing to ask, 'How do I want to live?'

We begin by borrowing words. Our parents' words, our teachers' words, our boss's words, words we read in books, words from people we admire. That in itself is not a bad thing. In fact, people expand their world and create their own way of thinking while borrowing the words of others.

However, if you live forever only with borrowed words, you get the feeling that even though it is your own life, you are somehow living someone else's. 'Because I should do this,' 'Because this is normal,' 'Because everyone else is doing it.' Even though you think you chose it yourself, the basis for that choice is not within you.

For example, there is the word 'growth.' It is a word used so naturally in the business world. But what does growth mean to you? Is it getting a promotion? Is it increasing your annual income? Is it becoming able to do what you couldn't before? Is it having the power to make someone happy?

'I want to succeed' is the same. What is success? Growing a company. Making money. Becoming famous. Getting free time. Living peacefully with your family. Doing work you can be satisfied with, even if no one knows about it. The answer is completely different for each person.

Nevertheless, many people chase the success prepared by the world without ever putting their own 'growth' or 'success' into words. And then, they realize it only after they have finally obtained it: 'Wait, was this really what I wanted?'

Articulation is not a technique for speaking clever words. It is an endeavor for you to understand what you feel, what you value, what you fear, and what you desire. In other words, putting things into words is also about increasing the resolution of your own life.

Of course, just putting things into words does not make your dreams come true. However, people cannot act concretely toward things they cannot put into words. With 'I want to be happy somehow,' you don't know what to do today. But if you can define what happiness is to you, a standard for making choices is born.

'To me, happiness is being able to continue doing the work I want to do, with people I like, without pushing myself too hard, and staying healthy.' If you can put it into words like that, you might stop choosing a job based solely on annual income. Conversely, if you think 'financial wealth creates freedom,' then pursuing a high income is also a respectable choice.

The important thing is not which one is correct.
It is whether you are truly choosing that answer yourself. Choosing a life you can be satisfied with, rather than a life that earns praise from others. To do that, you need to be able to speak about your own values in your own words.

However, you cannot easily find your own unique words just by thinking at your desk. When you fail, when you feel frustrated, when someone hurts you, when you are absorbed in something, when you are truly happy from the bottom of your heart. The raw materials for your own words lie exactly where your emotions were moved the most in your life.

Why was I hurt by those words? Why was I drawn to that person's way of life? Why was I able to lose track of time only with that work? Why did I feel empty even though I should have succeeded? If you carefully dig into the movements of your emotions, you will see what you truly value.

People who have their own words are not necessarily good speakers. They are not people who know difficult words, nor are they people with a rich vocabulary. They are people who have thought through what they have experienced in their own way and can say, 'This is what I think.' Their very life resides within those words.

Therefore, there is no need to use someone else's words exactly as they are. If you feel uncomfortable with words you read in a book, it is okay to doubt them. If you cannot agree with the way of thinking of someone you respect, you do not have to force yourself to conform. The sense of discomfort that says, 'I think it's a little different,' is also an entrance to the birth of your own words.

In fact, your own unique words can be born from that 'discomfort.' Everyone says this. But is that really true? It is called success by society. But I don't feel like I want that. It is important not to ignore that small snag and to try to put it into words.

And having your own words does not mean that you will never change a decision you have made. People change through experience. It is okay for what was important to you at 20 to be different from what is important to you at 40. It is okay to contradict your past self.

Words are not a cage to trap yourself in, but a current location to confirm where you are now. 'This is what I think right now.' If you put it into words like that, you will be able to notice yourself when you have changed a few years later. Articulation is not about fixing yourself, but about capturing your own changes.

In work, relationships, and life, you will never stop feeling lost. No matter how good you become at articulating, you will encounter questions without clear answers many times. Even so, people who have their own words have a place to return to when they are lost.

'What do I want to cherish?'

'Who do I want to live with?'

'When do I feel most like myself?'

'What kind of life would I be satisfied with at the end?'

It is fine if you don't have an answer right away. In fact, because these are questions that cannot be answered easily, they are worth asking yourself over and over again. It is okay if yesterday's answer is different from today's. Your life includes those changes.

And finally, there is one thing I want to tell you.

You are the one who has lived your life the longest.

What you have been hurt by, what you have rejoiced in, what you have given up on, what you have protected, and what you have dreamed of. Even if you search the whole world, you are the only person who knows all of that.

That is precisely why I don't want you to entrust all the words that tell your life story to others.

You can borrow someone else's correct answer.

You can be saved by someone else's words.

You can use someone else's way of life as a reference.

But in the end, you must find the words to decide 'I will live this way' for yourself.

By putting things into words, you can see yourself.

By seeing yourself, you become able to make choices.

By becoming able to choose, your actions will change.

If your actions change, your life will change.

Verbalization is not just a communication skill.

It is a technique for taking your life back into your own hands.

Only after letting go of borrowed words can you finally hear your own voice.

That voice might be small at first. You might lack confidence, be unable to explain things well, and stumble over your words many times.

That is perfectly fine.

You can think, rewrite, and speak again as many times as you need.

That is how, little by little, your own unique words are born.

And someday, those words might move someone's heart.

They might give someone courage.

They might change someone's life.

But before that happens,

first, please find the words that will move your own life.

For the life that only you can live, there are words that only you can speak.

Conclusion

Up to this point, through the theme of 'verbalization,' we have thought about thinking, communicating, facing worries, and living one's own life.

When we cannot put things into words, we tend to think, 'It's because I lack vocabulary,' 'It's because I'm not smart,' or 'It's because I'm bad at speaking.'
However, what is truly necessary is not to memorize many difficult words.

What did you feel? Why did you feel that way? What do you really want to convey?

It is to keep asking yourself those small questions.

Words do not appear in a finished form from the start. Discomfort, haziness, anger, joy, jealousy, longing—by facing these emotions that do not yet have names, and by thinking, writing, and speaking about them repeatedly, they gradually become 'your own words'.

You may find salvation in someone else's words. You may receive life-changing words from books. Even so, in the end, it is your own words that decide how you will live your life.

That is why, especially when you cannot put things into words well, please do not give up.

Within that haziness, there may be true feelings sleeping that even you do not yet know.

By putting things into words, you come to know yourself.

By knowing yourself, your choices change.

By changing your choices, your life changes.

For the life that only you can live, there are words that only you can speak.

The journey to find those words will surely continue from here on out.