The magic that lightens your heart when you're tired of relationships. A slightly surprising perspective that means you don't have to endure.

It is okay to have people you don't get along with.
Relationships and interests are inseparable.

How easy would it be if we could get along with everyone in business and daily life? Even if you think that, reality is not that simple.

Good morning. This is Kazumi Koda.

If you have been working for a long time, you will inevitably meet people you feel you just don't click with. Moreover, in situations involving conflicting interests, it is almost impossible to avoid interacting with them.
If you keep trying hard while suppressing your feelings, telling yourself you 'have to endure it,' you may eventually end up exhausted yourself.

What is useful at such times is not trying to 'force yourself to like them,' but the idea of creating some space in your heart.

***

You should think of people you dislike
as bananas.

This is where the slightly surprising perspective called 'Banana Reframing' comes in. When you perceive the other person as a human, their words and attitudes directly affect your emotions. That is why you dare to 'try thinking of them as a banana.' Then, strangely, their words and actions can be seen as mere 'phenomena'.

'This banana is talking a lot again today.'
'Are you really going to say that? Even for a banana.'
When you take it in that way, the thorns of irritation can sometimes become just a little bit rounded.

By the way,about 50% of the genes of bananas and humans are the sameapparently. When you think that there are surprising commonalities in the basic structure of life, you become able to focus on the shared parts rather than the differences. That feeling might be the trigger for creating space in your heart.

***

Space in your heart
helps with calm judgment.

This 'Banana Reframing' is by no means meant to belittle the other person. Rather, it is a technique for you to avoid being swayed by emotions and to make good, calm judgments.
In behavioral economics, there is a term called 'emotional bias.' It is the characteristic that people are prone to making errors in judgment due to the influence of emotions. That is precisely why you should create your own mental escape route so you don't get swallowed by waves of emotion. As a result, this leads to protecting the quality of your business and your relationships of trust.

***

You don't have to endure.
You can feel at ease with 'mental adjustments'.

'It is okay to have people you don't get along with.' 'There is no need to force yourself to like them.'
But if you leave it at that, your heart will get tired, so you incorporate small adjustments. That is how to create psychological space, like 'Banana Reframing'.
When you are tired of relationships, why not prioritize making your own heart feel lighter first?

***

Thank you for reading until the end. I hope this note serves as a hint for delivering the message you want to convey. If you like, I would be happy if you could 'like, comment, or follow'! I will come to connect with you as well.

▼ Written by this person

https://note.com/mizanne/n/n7342857e3de0