Overcoming the anxiety of being 'the only father.' Finding a place to belong at a parents' support group after 3 months of school non-attendance

“As a single father, is it really okay for me to go there?”

Before I pressed the sign-up button, my heart was wavering terribly.

When I searched for 'school non-attendance' online, many sites were labeled 'for moms'.

Would there be other fathers participating? Would I stand out?

I was so anxious that I called to inquire beforehand.

I asked, “Is it okay for a father to participate?”

However, I was even more worried about my son's future than I was about my own anxiety.

With that single thought, I decided to sign up.

Until the moment I walked through the venue gate on the day, the thought of turning back crossed my mind.

As expected, among nearly 30 participants, I was the only father.

But since I had come, I told myself to change my mindset and sat in a chair.

A time of 'empathy' that resonates beyond labels

After the general explanation, we were divided into groups of about five people.

There was one counselor acting as a facilitator at each table.

One by one, we gave brief self-introductions and reported our current situations.

Everyone is in a different environment.

However, we all shared the commonality of 'a child not attending school'.
Just because of this one point, there was an astonishing amount of empathy.

How precious that time was for me, both in sharing and in listening.

The anxiety I had initially felt about being a father had vanished before I knew it.

Gender didn't matter; the discussion became passionate, and our hearts connected in a mysterious way.

Learning about 'options other than school' from experienced parents

What left an impression on me was the surprising 'calmness' of the experienced parents whose children had been out of school for over a year.

• There is no need to go to school at all costs.
• Children have their own ways of moving forward.
• Watch over their own important places to belong.

As I was in my third month of my child's non-attendance, I was still stuck in the mindset that 'going to school is the norm'.

However, the calm perspective of the experienced parents fundamentally changed my way of thinking.

Honestly, the two hours were so dense that it felt like it wasn't enough at all.

To fathers carrying loneliness

If there are any single fathers out there who, like me, have a child who isn't attending school and are hesitating because they are a 'father,' I truly hope you will find the courage to participate.

There is nothing to worry about.

By talking to others, the anxiety you are currently carrying will gradually ease.

Looking at a new sense of distance with my son

Now that the new school year has begun and the environment is changing.

Worries will continue, but from now on, I hope to build a relationship with my son that is 'neither too close nor too far'.

If there is another opportunity like this, I would sincerely like to participate again.