"Will my child end up like this too?" A son who refuses to go to kindergarten and the elementary schooler who hurled verbal abuse

A little while ago,
I had an experience that felt like the gateway to trauma.

I was so shocked that I couldn't update the blog I had been updating almost every day for a week.

Since there were various realizations from that shocking event, now that two weeks have passed and I've calmed down a bit, I've decided to reflect on the matter in my own way.

The third-grade elementary school boy who hurled verbal abuse at my four-year-old child had characteristics very similar to my own child, and it was an event I couldn't dismiss as someone else's problem.

This time, we were the ones on the receiving end, but I never know when my child might end up on the side doing the saying.

I think I was shocked because I had witnessed a "potential future for my child" that I did not want.

Of course, it doesn't mean that will definitely happen.

But,
I think this event happened precisely because there is a "part of me that doesn't fully believe."

My child has been refusing to go to kindergarten for a little less than half a year since around February, and he also hates elementary school and doesn't want to go...

But he manages to go every day with his parent accompanying him to the classroom.

He does various extracurricular activities four times a week, and he used to go to swimming lessons, but his parents wouldn't accept that he didn't want to go, so he was made to go for about half a year to a year before he was finally able to quit.

On the other hand, my child joined a sports club once a week, but after a month, he said he wouldn't go, so I let him take a break a few times, and although I thought it was a waste because the equipment I bought was still brand new,

I know that once my child says something, he is thorough and his will won't bend, so although it was a pity, I decided to have him withdraw.

A common point is that whether it's school or extracurricular activities, once they go, they seem to be having fun.

It looks like they are enjoying it to their parents, and the teachers say so too.

However, the children themselves say they don't want to go anymore.

The difference between him and my child is

whether they feel that their own expressed will is respected by the person closest to them, their parent.
whether they feel that their own expressed will is respected by the person closest to them, their parent.

that is what it is.

Parents, based on their own experiences, think about profit and loss and future anxieties, and out of good intentions, they do not accept their child's will.

There is absolutely no malice in that.

In fact, they believe that this is exactly for their child's own good.

There is no right or wrong in that judgment; it is a co-creation of the reality that the child, who chose that parent to be born to, and the parent are meant to experience together.

Since they have become a family in this life to learn various things from that experience, there is no problem there.

The meaning of having this event shown to me right before my eyes as part of my reality this time is,

that my choice to respect my son's will and not force him to go to kindergarten was not a mistake.

I think it was for the realization of that.

This means that even within myself, where I thought this was fine, there was still anxiety about whether it would really be okay not to send him to kindergarten.

That is why I must have created this in my reality to turn that into an unwavering determination, a conviction.

The elementary schooler was a guide of the soul who embodied and showed me what happens to a child who continues to endure things they do not want to.

Respecting a child's will is not as easy as it sounds.

There are many conflicts involved, such as the eyes of those around you, anxiety about the future, and various other things.

But I have always tried to steer the ship toward the path where my son can keep smiling.

I feel that this criterion for judgment is not entirely wrong.

Although this incident came as a huge shock to me as a parent, my son, who was the target of the verbal abuse, didn't seem to care about it at all,

and he would say almost every day, "I want to see my big brother" and "I want to play Kirby with him again."

Even now, after I bought a game console and the Kirby software so he could play it at home, and he is free to play Kirby whenever he wants,

he still says "I want to play with my big brother" every other day.

Through this experience, I learned that a child's
【power to live in the moment】 has the power to heal even the 【pain of the past】 that I felt as a parent.

Living in the moment—the power of that, and my son's very existence...

And to everyone I interact with...

Gratitude again today‼️