2025.8.12 Hypnagogia in Three Parts, Part 2: A Quiet Farewell to a Gray-Haired Man. Remembering Someone on the Day the War Ended | Dream Diary | Dream Analysis | Jungian Psychology | Depth Psychology | Hypnagogia | Parent-Child Relationships | Family Therapy | Moral Harassment | Healing | End-of-Life Care | Palliative Care | Violet Evergarden

*This post is a continuation of
2025.8.9 Hypnagogia of the Sword:
What do the common symbols in two dreams mean?
Read the previous post here ▼

Please be sure to read it as well.

The hypnagogia (images during sleep onset) mentioned in this post
is explained in the following post ▼

😴 Dream Setting: The second dream in a three-part series

I had a dream of a quiet farewell,
much like the final scene of the anime
"Violet Evergarden".

This dream was the second part of a three-part series,
and it left a particularly strong impression on me.

Due to intense sleepiness and the hypnagogic state,
I could not remember the first part or the third part of the dream.
This is also a characteristic feature of hypnagogia.

📝 Dream Record: Under an Orange Sky

The setting of the dream was not clear,
but it seemed to be outdoors at twilight,
with a slightly orange, cloudy sky.

An elderly man with graying hair was in front of me.
He had a strong presence, like a forceful debater you might see on TV,
yet at that moment, he was wrapped in a sense of loneliness.

The man overlapped with the image of my father,
who passed away two years ago on the day the war ended.
I realized this while I was dreaming.

I was a humanoid android or
robot-like being serving him,
and although I had once been dismissed,
I had returned for some reason.

Because I was an android or robot,
I had no emotions.

This is something I realized after waking up,
but in the dream, I was experiencing it from the position of an android
that had no emotions, yet the real me was having my emotions stirred while dreaming.

Since I was an android,
I shouldn't have been moved by heart or emotion,
but my brain computer had calculated the answer that I should return,
contrary to the man's orders.

The man said he was about to go on a trip.
He wore a thick coat made of sturdy fabric.
He held a hat for going out in his hand,
and carried a large trunk.

I told him that I had returned
to bid him farewell.

The man said quietly,

I see, so you noticed...
No, you knew all along, didn't you.

I was silent,
but I understood that to be the answer.

I knew that the "trip" the man spoke of
might actually be a journey to death.
He had a serious illness,

and although he had hidden it from me,
he was leaving home for palliative care.
I had known for a long time

that this would be his final treatment.
On the surface, it was called a long-term trip,

but my brain computer
had accurately understood the truth.

Even so, I did not say it out loud,
and I quietly said,
"Master, please, stay safe
and return in good health."

The man said nothing, smiled slightly,
waved his hand faintly,
and slowly turned his back to leave.

That was when I realized.
The scene was a pier.

A large ship was docked,
and it seemed the man was going on a journey aboard that ship.
Was it a voyage to the other shore?
I thought so.

Even though I was an android,
I was surprised that I understood the religious and philosophical concept of the other shore.
Even after his figure disappeared,
I continued to stand there.

😢 Waking up in tears

When I woke up, dazed by intense drowsiness, I realized that
a single quiet tear had fallen.

It was not a whirlwind of intense emotion, but
a quiet, quiet tear like that of
Violet Evergarden.

I realized that I had been
crying while dreaming.
Because the real me is not an emotionless
android or robot.

🔍 Dream Analysis and Reflection: About My Late Father

As I wrote down the record of the dream, I felt that
this gray-haired man was highly likely to be
a symbol of my late father.
My father also had a very forceful way of speaking,

at a level where his moral harassment
reached the realm of domestic violence.
When I was a child, his angry shouting,

which unfolded almost every night downstairs,
could be heard in my room on the second floor,
and I would lie awake, trembling in fear.

By the time I reached adolescence,
we had had face-to-face shouting matches
many, many times.

He believed his own thoughts were the absolute truth,
and would not acknowledge anyone else's ideas at all.
So, he would speak in a pressuring, rapid-fire way,
with a loud voice that seemed to deny not just the other person's ideas,
but their very existence.

I was told by my mother that my father
treated people the same way not only at home but also at work,
causing trouble and
becoming isolated.
Even so, he took pride in his work

and was a professional,
so he was a person who continued to do
various similar jobs even after retirement.

I have written a little about this
in my early notes as well ▼

I told my father while he was alive that someday, I would
make everything about him public, both the good and the bad,
in some form.
I had obtained permission
from both my father and mother.

Therefore, on my main SNS accounts and blog, I wrote honestly about these things,
kept a record of my father's end-of-life care and funeral,
and received many reactions, mainly from friends.
A part of that finally appeared in my dream.
And it happened to coincide with the third anniversary of his death,

I thought.

The "travel" in the dream
is a symbol of something close to death,
and can be considered a final dialogue with my inner fatherhood,
or a scene of reconciliation.

The fact that I (the robot) went back to say goodbye
even while defying the man's instructions
likely signifies the repair of our relationship or a final confirmation.

The tears upon waking
were an expression of understanding from my body,
and I felt they were proof of that.
I felt that my body (the unconscious) had accepted it
before my heart (the conscious mind) did.

This dream overlaps with the worldview of
Violet Evergarden,
which quietly shares emotions that are difficult to put into words,
and reflects the process of accepting the farewell to my father
in the depths of my heart.

📕 Link to "Jung's Psychology of the Red Book"

Psychologically, at the beginning of
the book I am currently reading,
supervised by Toshio Kawai,titled "Jung's Psychology of the Red Book",

is an important perspective that is presented.

This can be interpreted to mean that
unless we internalize and integrate
our past memories and emotions,
especially our relationships with our parents and ancestors,
we cannot truly
move forward.

💡 Personal realization and current situation

This year marks the second anniversary of my father's passing.
My father died on August 15th, the day the war ended.
I feel a strong synchronicity
that the present moment overlaps with that time.

Following the series of dreams related to masculinity
that I have posted on this note over the past few days,
my relationship with my father and past historical traumas
have begun to stir all at once,
and I believe that influence is
strongly reflected in this dream as well.

I feel that these connections, which could be called both coincidental and inevitable,
have appeared in my dreams as messages from the unconscious,
or have begun to link with the real world,
facilitating a process of
deep healing.

I have come to understand that this series of hypnagogic dreams,
which have been continuing recently,
is a process for sublimating my conflicts with my father,
my aversion to masculinity,and even trauma at the collective unconscious level.

By having this dream,
I felt that the healing process had progressed significantly,
and my heart felt lighter.

Dreams are letters from the unconscious.
For me, this dream
became a quiet farewell to my father after two years.

✅ Summary and next post preview

After finishing the draft for this post,
I wondered if I could post it on August 15th, the day the war ended,
but I really didn't want to break the flow of the dream series,
so I ended up being one day off.

I had a dream that was reminiscent of my relationship with my father,
with whom I had long-standing conflicts.

Moreover, it was a symbol reminiscent of a journey to death,
and the fact that it became the culmination of the hypnagogic dreams
I had been having for the past few days about facing masculinity
made perfect sense to me.

The dreams I have every single day
are linked to me in the present moment,
so I thought I had to write them down immediately!
I put all the other drafts I had prepared on the back burner,
and in a rush, I have been posting
my dream diary and dream analysis almost in real-time.

Having come this far,
I feel like I've reached a milestone.
To everyone who read this,
thank you.

Next time, I'll change the pace
and post an entry for the
note x Google collaboration,
which is about AI and independent research.
Of course, I'll write it while incorporating dream analysis.

I postponed it because I didn't want to break the flow of the dream diary,
but I have to post it before the deadline!
Please come back and visit again ♡

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