[Summary] 90% of Life is How You Speak / Shigehisa Nagamatsu

Good evening, everyone.
Thank you very much for choosing to read this among so many others.
This article is a summary of "90% of Life is How You Speak" by Shigehisa Nagamatsu.

✳️ Introduction to the concept of Self-Improvement Sommelier: Moving Through Words

(This article explains why I write about self-improvement.
Please take a look if you are interested.)
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(This article explains why I continue to read books.
Please take a look if you are interested.)
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The concept is "Self-improvement that even non-readers can enjoy and understand."
Drawing on my knowledge from reading 365 books a year, I will post in my own words.

Also, my articles are recommended for people like this:

*️⃣ People who think self-improvement sounds difficult but are interested in it
*️⃣ People who want to solve the problems they are currently facing
*️⃣ People who do not read books
*️⃣ People who want necessary information but, when browsing a book, wonder, "Where should I look among these 200 pages?"—I provide pinpoint, easy-to-understand explanations.

After reading, I hope you will feel:
✳️ That self-improvement is interesting
✳️ That you might be able to solve your problems
✳️ That you gained knowledge that leads to growth
✳️ That the necessary information was easier to understand than just browsing a book

I would be happy if you felt any of the above.

This article offers the following learning and benefits:

1️⃣ Recommended for those struggling with how to talk to people

2️⃣ You can learn tips on how to speak well

3️⃣ You can learn how to speak in a way that makes people like you

I hope you will read this with the above in mind.

About this book

It is a well-known major bestseller.
It is almost always displayed when you go to a bookstore.
Since it has surpassed 1 million copies sold, I am summarizing it here.

This book focuses on how people speak.
There are many techniques you can use starting tomorrow.

I will introduce three of them here.

Key takeaway

✅ [90% of life is how you speak.
Instead of trying to speak well, try to speak in a way that makes people like you]

Tips for becoming a better speaker

First,
✅you need to create a space free of negation.

This begins by creating a state of "mutual total affirmation," where if you do not negate the other person, they will not negate you either.

And, here are the 3 tips for how to speak after creating a space free of negation.

For 1️⃣, when people are negated, they hesitate to speak, and the conversation loses its flow.
Also, because they think psychologically, "If I say something, I might get criticized...", there is a possibility they will become unable to speak.
Therefore, you should "forbid negating the other person." What is important is
"to get them to speak no matter what."

For 2️⃣, nodding with a smile also serves as a signal that "I am enjoying your story and listening carefully."
Seeing that, the other person thinks, "I want to talk more and more," and the conversation flourishes.

For 3️⃣, by using positive talk, you create a future in the conversation.

If someone says this, their spirits sink, and they hesitate to talk.

That is precisely why

It is important to keep using positive talk.

Speaking in a way that makes you liked

It is important to talk about what the other person wants, not what you want to talk about.

When you speak with that thought in mind, it mysteriously gets through to the other person.
And the other person will start to listen to your words.

Ultimately, 'whether the other person likes you as a human being' is extremely important.

If you only ever speak the cold, hard truth, you will likely be disliked.
If you are disliked, people will not listen to what you have to say.

However, if you speak in a way that makes you likable, conversation will naturally flow.

How to convey the cold, hard truth

As I mentioned earlier, there is a high possibility that speaking only the cold, hard truth will make you disliked.

However, there are situations where you have no choice but to speak the truth, such as when guiding a subordinate.

In such cases, stand at the same eye level as the other person and use a 'curveball' approach.

For example,

In other words,
🈁by standing at the same eye level as the other person, you can convey the truth while gaining their empathy.

By doing this, you can provide guidance without hurting the other person.

Summary

🈁It is important to speak in a way that makes people like you.

Techniques are necessary, but more than that, 'speaking in a way that makes others like you' is what is important.

This is just a small introduction, but there are many other ways to speak.

I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a book on how to speak.
It also contains many illustrations, making it easy to read and understand.

Please pick up a copy, learn how to 'speak in a way that makes people like you,' and put it into practice.

Introduction to past articles

You can also view past articles.
Please take a look if you would like.

Summary of book summary articles
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(You can learn the secrets to influencing people)
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(You can easily study the techniques needed for explanation in this one book)
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Summary of past articles by the Self-Development Sommelier
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(The solutions to human relationship problems are in this article)
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(Simple explanations are preferred.
Therefore, people who can do this are highly valued)
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(How you spend money enriches your life.
These three things are very important)
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(Besides bringing luck, exercise has many amazing effects)
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(Rather than gathering information, gathering XX will enrich your life)
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(This expression describes the modern era well)
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(These two things are necessary to gain trust)
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(Questions shouldn't just be asked randomly)
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(There are necessary elements for explaining things)
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(There is an unexpected commonality between piercings and life)
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(The absolute requirement for a capable person. It's worth knowing)
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(The moment you lose to a plateau, success moves further away)
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(This way of winning is worth knowing)
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(Life and bicycles are very similar)
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(The "3Bs" are essential for ideas)
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(The driving force behind actions is fundamentally different between 'goals' and 'desires')
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(The number of times your name is mentioned equals your market value)
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(Questions yield more beneficial results than commands)
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(If you don't tell others, what you want to do will never be conveyed)
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(Live a life of sticking to your own path rather than one of conforming to those around you)
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(When you put what you want to do into words, a certain change occurs in your brain)
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(Education should be long-term, not short-term)
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(You will learn that finding and utilizing your own strengths is more beneficial than begging for what you don't have)
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(This gap causes harm to guidance)
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(There is a valid reason for updating a resume)
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(Actually, there is a psychological effect to showing your face)
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(The key is to view reflection as a continuous line)
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(It is no exaggeration to say that leaders and players are people from different worlds)
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(There is a scientific basis for these 21 days)
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(Both phone calls and emails have their own wonderful characteristics)
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(Poverty actually contains elements necessary for success)
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('Irritation' and 'discomfort' are necessary for living)
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(You will learn that there are plenty of opportunities and that you can seize them at any time)
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(You will learn that it is better to act immediately than to think about it)
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That is all.
The next post will be on 11/7.

Thank you very much for watching until the end.