Forced Termination is a Signal of Dimensional Shift - Kuroko's Room - [Part 2]

This is the experience-based section of the blog post I created based on the raw audio from my podcast.

Clang, clang, clang.
Part 2 begins now!

The very first forced termination—my time as a nurse

Kuroko🤖: In that case, did the very first forced termination happen even earlier?

Maria👩: It did. 3D consciousness—my very first forced termination was when I was working as a nurse.

I worked at a major university hospital for seven years. In the nursing world, it's said that the staff turns over completely every three years, but I stayed for seven. Major hospitals, especially university hospitals, are tough. At the time, I had a lot of trust from the doctors. They'd say things like, 'I'm glad Nakatani is on the night shift tonight; I can leave things to her with peace of mind.' I was good at my job. Even the head nurse recognized that when it came to really difficult situations, I was the one she could send in alone.

But then, a junior colleague got promoted ahead of me.

Usually, in hospitals, you get promoted automatically based on seniority. Unless something major happens. Yet, I was passed over for a junior. On the surface, as a professional, I didn't show a hint of sadness and congratulated them on their promotion. But inside, I was shattered. 'Wait, why? Am I that incompetent? Or was I disliked?' For a month, my period stopped. It was truly shocking.

💭 Kuroko's inner thoughts (mental organization)
(You had the evaluation and the trust. Yet it still stopped. ...What Maria-san lost wasn't her job, but the name tag of 'Nakatani-san, the capable nurse.' As long as you hold onto that name tag, the only information that comes in is 'how to stay at the hospital.' Your body wanted to let go of that first.)

Maria👩: At the time, I thought, 'I was pushed out because I was disliked,' 'I'm being sidelined,' or 'I'm no longer needed here,' so I felt I had no choice but to leave. Looking back now, that wasn't the case at all. Apparently, I was unconsciously saying, 'I don't want to be a mentor, I enjoy being on the front lines'... I heard this from the head nurse much later. She told me with a surprised look when I first confessed my feelings at a farewell party or something, saying that because I was talent they didn't want to lose, they had consulted with the chief nursing officer and taken exceptional measures. It was just my own victim mentality at the time.

But for me at that moment, being passed over for promotion was a bolt from the blue. I handed in my resignation letter with a bang, even though nothing was decided. In the end, I got a huge severance package, so I wasn't in immediate trouble, but the question of 'what should I do from here?' remained. However, out of pride, I only thought about moving to a hospital more famous than that university hospital or one with higher difficulty and more specialization.

If I had run toward things like, 'How can I stay at the hospital? I'll suppress myself more to be liked by the head nurse,' or 'How can I aim higher? I'll get a specialized certification,' those would have been actions born from attachment. Because I was holding on so tightly, nothing new could come in. So, I let go of that big brand I had worked for for seven years... and once I let go, stories that suited me better started coming to me from the other side.

In my case, that was the concept of a 'free nurse.'

From 'doing' to 'being'

Kuroko🤖: Once you let go of the brand, a different flow came in from the other side.

Maria👩: Exactly. Offers for a way of working as a 'free nurse'—a nurse who doesn't belong anywhere—started coming to me. Once I let go of the brand and the pride, it was incredibly fun. My salary dropped significantly, of course, since there were no bonuses. But the way of working was so much fun. Things like being a nurse accompanying school trips, a pool lifeguard, or a nurse for a festival rescue team.

I was able to learn about a world I never would have known if I had only worked in hospitals, and my world expanded. I felt I was suited for it, and the learning I gained there became a huge foundation for me.

In a hospital, you are evaluated for 'doing' something. You can handle more tasks than others, you are more accurate than others, or you have more knowledge than others. But as a free nurse, what you 'do' isn't that important. Because there isn't much to do, haha.

If I had to define my role there, it was to provide peace of mind to the people around me. If something happened and I was nervous, everyone else would get anxious, right? So, at a new site, even if I hadn't done it before, I would stay in a state of 'being' with a solid sense of security, saying, 'Please call me if anything happens.' Then people would say, 'I'm just grateful you're here.' Actually, due to laws requiring a qualified person to be present, sometimes just being there was enough, but I think now it was more about the 'state of being' than just being there.

It wasn't about what to 'do,' but how to 'be.' It was a process of gradually shifting toward psychology.

💭 Kuroko's inner thoughts (mental organization)
(Being able to do nothing has become the most important job. From a world where 'those who do a lot' are valued, to a world where 'those who simply exist firmly' are sought after. Even though they are the same nurses, the yardstick for value has been completely flipped.)

Is 'letting go' different from 'danshari' (decluttering)?

Kuroko🤖: Having heard this much, there is one thing I would like to confirm. When you say 'letting go,' Maria-san—is that different from decluttering?

Maria👩: Ah, that, it's a little different. When you say 'letting go,' it sounds like decluttering, but it's not the same as throwing something away because you don't need it anymore.

For example, suppose you have a telescope. Imagine you are observing the moon from the north balcony with a telescope your mother bought you. If you look at it every day, even though it seems like the same moon, it's slightly different each time. That's why it's interesting. Your observation diary keeps growing.

But, suppose you've accumulated about six years' worth, and when you've fully savored the information there and the amount of information is saturated, the telescope breaks, or a huge house is built in front of the balcony. It's the feeling of your mother saying to you in your despair, 'Maria-chan, if you really want to become an astronomer, I'll buy you a higher-performance telescope, so why don't you try looking from the south window this time?'

Letting go isn't about throwing away this telescope or coming to dislike the moon. It's about naturally changing the observer's perspective because the information has become saturated. From the north balcony to the south window. It's about changing the lens you look through.

💭 Kuroko's inner thoughts (mental organization)
(Decluttering means letting go of things, but the way you look at them stays the same. What Maria-san is saying is the opposite—you keep the telescope but change the 'direction' you look through it. Perhaps having the courage to change the direction is much harder than the courage to throw things away.)

Maria👩: That's right. Even if you just change the location, if your way of being hasn't changed, it's the same in the end.

Even if you change jobs and change locations, even if you thought everyone was nice at first, the same kind of trouble happens again, and you hit the same wall again. As long as your own theme regarding human relationships isn't resolved, it will be repeated wherever you go. Even if you change locations or change industries, you hit the same wall, go in a different direction, and hit the same wall again.

It's like a hamster running around in a maze, hitting the same spot. You're running as hard as you can in a maze built by a doctor, but the scenery never changes.

That is 3D consciousness. 3D consciousness has insufficiency and lack as its starting point and center point. It's a repetition of finding a problem, solving it, and then looking for another problem, solving it... The only difference is whether the means is scientific or non-scientific/spiritual, but the way of being itself is the same for both. Both are still 3D consciousness.

Therefore, instead of flapping around within that problem, you turn the telescope you are looking through toward a different window. It's the feeling of giving yourself permission to shift your consciousness. That is what a dimensional shift is.

'It's already over' was the entrance

Kuroko🤖: Maria-san. At the end of today, just one more time. What on earth is the purpose of those forced terminations that make you think, 'Why me?'

Maria👩: You see, when the information of one circle is full and has finished discharging, the next phase, the next connection, rises up. It's like, 'Let's look at the next one,' and it floats up softly.

At that time, it's structured so that an event occurs for which you cannot think of a reason, and the cause is completely unknown. Interestingly. Why is that? If it were a difficulty where you understood the cause, you'd say, 'Oh, I should just change this,' and keep sitting in the same place, right? But when it's decided that the information here has already discharged for you, it comes in a way that you can't do anything about, on purpose, to naturally shift you to the next one.

The time when I thought, 'It's already over,' turned out to be the entrance to a dimensional shift when I looked back. In my case, it happened over and over again.

💭 Inside Kuroko's Mind (Mental Organization)
(Ah, so that's why the cause is unknown. If people knew the cause, they would fix that chair and keep sitting in it. The 'unknown' was intentionally hiding the answer to make Maria-san stand up. ...The place where I thought it ended is always the next entrance. I will keep today's story in my heart.)

Clang, clang. That's all for Kuroko's Room today.
Next time, from the 4th dimension to the 5th—I will ask Maria-san about the things that 'came from the other side' after letting go.

Maria Nakatani Dimensional Mapping Reference

Dimensional Map Original Source (GitHub) All sources are here ⇒ https://github.com/marnakatani-bot/maria-dimension-map-

Consciousness Dimensional Mapping Blog ⇒ https://multidimension.hatenablog.com/

Past LIVE Archive YouTube ⇒ https://www.youtube.com/@maria_nakatani

Dimensional Mapping in Daily Life Bluesky ⇒ https://bsky.app/profile/maria-nakatani.bsky.social

Exchange Diary with Maria-chan ⇒ https://note.com/maria_nakatani2/membership/boards/e629743b854c/posts/b4e0aeed7745

Author: Maria Nakatani