Changing the self that thought, "My heart is like a defective house"✨ Just one word🌿 How I learned to cherish myself after that❤️‍🩹 Listen to "Yokaze"🎵

Thank you for opening
this note♡

There was a time when I
truly believed it was my heart,
not a house,
that was broken.


🌿 𓈒𓏸･*･𓏸𓈒 🌿　　🌿 𓈒𓏸･*･𓏸𓈒 🌿

Many people feel like they
"blame themselves" or have
"low self-esteem."

I used to think of my own heart
as being "like a defective house."

But, after a certain event,
I began to think that
"it's okay to care for a wounded heart."

It looks fine on the outside.

But inside, it's full of cracks.

It could collapse at any moment.

I will tell you the story of how I,
who saw myself that way,
came to realize that
"it's okay to care for a wounded heart"
thanks to one single phrase.

While talking to someone I trust,
this might be the wrong way to put it,
but I accidentally let it slip out.

"My heart is like a defective house."

While laughing just a little.

Because if I wasn't laughing,
I felt like I would cry.

Then, that person,
after being silent for a while, looked at me and said,

"Don't you think you don't have to go as far as calling it a defective house?"

I couldn't immediately
respond to those words.

The depths of my chest grew warm,
and my eyes blurred with tears.

Because the past me
truly believed that.

🌿 𓈒𓏸･*･𓏸𓈒 🌿

When I told my counselor
about my past,
they once said to me,
"You have really done well to survive this far."

The days I thought were
"just normal" for me,
were actually a life that required
constant repairs for someone else.

That was when I realized it for the first time.

Even so, I didn't say,
"That must have been hard."
Instead, I kept blaming myself,
saying, "That's why I'm no good."
One day,

I saw a house in the neighborhood being renovated.
Scaffolding was set up, old walls were being repainted,

and the foundation was being reinforced.

Watching the white curing sheets sway in the wind,
I thought to myself.

When a house is damaged, you make repairs.

Not to destroy it,
but to fix it so you can keep living there.

No one would ever call that house
a "defective house."

What's important is
not to blame the damage,
but to start making repairs
from the moment you notice it.

I wasn't broken.

I just didn't know how to rebuild.

🌿 𓈒𓏸･*･𓏸𓈒 🌿

Perhaps the heart is the same.

Days when you forget to say "thank you."

Days when you can't say "I'm sorry."

Days when you're chased by busyness,
and can't listen slowly to the people who matter.

But that's not the end,
if you notice it, from there,
you can rebuild again.

When I thought that,
the thing I wanted to repair the most
was my relationship with myselfI had always directed

harsh words only at myself.
"I should have been able to do more."

"It's my fault."
"I have to do it properly."
Even if there was the slightest crack in my heart,

I would immediately blame myself.
But if someone I cared about

directed those same words at themselves,
I'm sure I would have said,
"That's not true."
Yet, I couldn't say
those words to myself.

Before even trying to repair the damage,
I had already decided, "I'm no good."

🌿 𓈒𓏸･*･𓏸𓈒 🌿

Having someone listen to my story
"Don't you think you don't have to go as far as calling it a defective house?"
and having them say that to me.

That one phrase
wasn't an attempt to change me,
but I think it was a wish
for me to cherish myself more.

Since realizing that,
the way I treat myself has changed.

On days when I'm tired,
"You did well to get through today."

On days when I'm sad,
"That was sad, wasn't it?"

On days when things didn't go well,
"Even so, you faced it properly."

In that way,
I've become able to speak to myself too.

Cherishing yourself
is nothing special.

It's not about rebuilding perfectly.

Try finding something you were able to do today.

It's also different from spoiling yourself.

First of all,
make yourself your own best ally.

Don't pretend you don't see the damage,
but notice it and make repairs.

Create a place for any version of yourself, saying "It's okay to be here."
🌿 𓈒𓏸･*･𓏸𓈒 🌿



"Noticing" and "Building"
The moment these two words
quietly connected within me.
Because I notice the damage, I can provide care.

Because I provide care, I can live with peace of mind.

That accumulation

quietly builds relationships and the future.
Relationships with others.

Partnerships.

And, the relationship with myself...

Before changing anything big,

first,
cherish your own true feelings.
I feel that the accumulation of those small repairs
will also tidy up
my connections with others
and my life from here on out.
🍀

How about you,

who have read this far?

Don't you think of your own heart
as a "defective house"?

(Was it only the past me who thought that...?)

Tonight, put down your smartphone,
and take one deep breath.

Place your hand on your chest,
"You did well to make it this far today 💮"and
try saying that to yourself.

That one phrase will surely
make tomorrow morning feel a little softer.

Thank you for reading
this far♡

🎧Today's recommendation🎵

'Yokaze'

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