How to Reclaim Your Values and Live Within Your Own Capacity ✨ Self-Axis | Values | Boundaries | Listen to 'Boom! - Unite' 🎶

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🫨 The moment my capacity cracked

Previously, after hanging up the phone,
I couldn't move for a while.

My hands wouldn't stop shaking.
My chest was pounding deep inside.
My breathing became shallow.

It was the moment when words I had trusted
were easily overturned.

'That wasn't what I meant.'

With those words,
I felt that the trust I had built up until now
was being treated lightly.

Before feeling frustrated,
I felt a chill deep in my body.

Ah, had I
been accepting this kind of treatment?

At that moment,
I felt like I heard the sound of
my own 'capacity' cracking.

It feels like everything you've built up until now is falling apart.

If you are currently like I was in the past,
hurt by someone's words,
or experiencing something unreasonable.

This relates to the boundaries and
raising your perspectivethat I have discussed in previous articles,
as well as your self-worth standards.

This time, I will talk about protecting yourself
from the perspective of your own 'capacity'.

By the time you finish reading this article,

✔ You will understand what kind of treatment you are allowing
✔ The meaning of unpleasant events will change slightly
✔ Stress in human relationships will become lighter

I would be happy if such changes occur for you.

🤔 What are value standards?

Self-worth standards are

'the criteria you set for what you consider good and what you will not accept'.To put it more gently,

in other words,

It can also be said as "what kind of treatment you consider 'normal'."

We make choices every day.

・Whether to accept those words
・Whether to take on that work
・Whether to continue interacting with that person

At those times, what we use unconsciously is our
value criteria.

However, without realizing it, these criteria get replaced by
"what is normal in the world."

・It's normal to endure this much
・It's standard to work this hard
・It's unavoidable to be treated this way

By doing so, we end up prioritizing external standards
over our own feelings.

That is why it is important to
redefine your own value criteria for yourself.

For example, that means

・What kind of words make you feel comfortable
・What kind of relationships make you feel at ease
・At what point do you feel something is "wrong"
・What kind of work style allows you to feel proud.

Carefully discovering these things.

Once your value criteria are aligned,

✔ Less unreasonable endurance
✔ Less stress in relationships
✔ Less self-blame

Above all,

You will be able to choose for yourself how you treat yourself.

Values are,

the power to decide what to put into your vessel.

And,the courage to decide what not to put in.

Values are,

the 'vessel' that determines the treatment you are worthy of receiving.is what they are.

⚡️Unpleasant events are shocks that expand your vessel

You were betrayed.
You were treated lightly.
Your efforts were not fairly evaluated.

That pain is,

'That treatment does not fit your vessel'

a sign that says so.

Unpleasant events are not meant to lower your value,
but are events meant to raise your standards.

When your capacity changes,

environments you could previously tolerate become painful.

Words you could previously laugh off now sting.

It is a sign that the vessel receiving your values is beginning to change.

🧘‍♀️3 Exercises to Grow Your Capacity

From here on, it is practice.

Things you can do starting today.

Exercise 1: Re-question, 'Should I really accept this?'

If you feel uncomfortable with words or attitudes directed at you by someone,

try asking yourself,

'Is this something I should let into my vessel?'

Do not react immediately; create some space.

Just by doing that,
the power to protect yourself will grow.

Work ② Write down what you want to put into your capacity

📝 Try writing it in a notebook.

・How do I want to be treated? ・What kind of words make me happy? ・What kind of relationships feel comfortable?

People who can write this down will be less likely to be swayed by others.

This is because
your own standards will become clear.

Work ③ Let go of one thing that doesn't fit your capacity

・Reduce one forced social interaction ・Decline a request that feels wrong ・Distance yourself from conversations that put you down

You don't have to change everything; just try changing one thing.

Your capacity
grows by accumulating 'experiences of protecting yourself'.

✨Summary

Values are the
“vessel” that receives your life.

Unpleasant events
do not happen to break you,
but sometimes happen to refine your vessel.

Therefore,

as your vessel grows,

✔ Stress in relationships decreases
✔ The number of times you blame yourself decreases
✔ You no longer have to push yourself too hard
✔ Only the people who truly fit you remain

The world won't change overnight, but
“how you treat yourself” will definitely change.

🌿Bonus... The future you with a grown vessel ✨

Try to imagine it.

When you wake up in the morning,

you are thinking about your day not based on “who will think what of me today,”
but based on “how I want to spend my day.”

Even when you encounter someone's words,
you don't swallow them immediately,
but gently verify them within yourself first.

It is about
whether it fits your capacity.

To unreasonable requests,
summon a little courage
and say, 'I cannot do that right now.'

Instead,
you can fully dedicate your energy to the people you cherish and the time you value.
You can firmly use your energy for the people and time you want to cherish.

Your relationships
might become fewer than before.

Relationships where you don't have to be overly cautious.
Relationships where you can truly respect each other.
Relationships where you can feel at ease.

Such connections will quietly remain.

And above all,
you are becoming kinder to yourself.

Even if you fail,
you can think, 'I'm still in the middle of the journey.'

On days you worked hard,
you can tell yourself, 'You did well.'

It may not be a special success,
but it is a very calm and certain change.

Growing your capacity means,

not "having a lot of things," but
learning to treat yourself with care.

🌹 Finally

Thank you for reading this far.

If your vessel feels cracked right now, and no matter how much you fill it, it never feels full,

that is not the end, but
you are in the middle of remaking a new vessel.

Don't rush.
Slowly, slowly.

At your own pace,
you will grow your vessel.

When you do that,
that vessel will continue to expand.

When you suddenly realize it, may your vessel
be filled in a way that is uniquely yours.

Thank you for your precious time and for reading.
I am grateful ✨

🎧Today's recommendation🎶

'Boom! - Unite'

Maia Hirasawa

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#Boom! - Unite #MaiaHirasawa