It wasn't the facts that were causing me pain, but my interpretation 😿 What I learned from my cool & dry husband. Listen to 'Kotodae' 🎵

Thank you for opening this note
♡

🌿 Today's thought


I wasn't suffering because of the facts, but because of the interpretations I attached to them.
𓂃𓈒𓏸 𓂃𓈒𓏸 𓂃𓈒𓏸



I tend to overthink people's words.



I end up thinking I might have been disliked.

As someone like that,

living with my cool & dry husband,
what I learned little by little
was a 'way of thinking that doesn't increase worries.'
Separating worries.

Not making assumptions.

Not reacting too much to words.

Instead of losing my sensitivity,

I'd like to write about a perspective
for not being swallowed up by it.
𓂃𓈒𓏸

🌼 Separating and thinking about worries

I've always been the type to
create many worries
from a single event.
If something someone said bothers me a little,

I start a story in my head:
'Did they dislike me?'
'Was I rude?'
'Maybe they actually think this of me...'
Because I'm sensitive, there are things I notice.

On the other hand,


I sometimes ended up exhausted by carryingthings that hadn't even happened yet.

My husband, who is by my side,
is very cool and dry.
At first,

I sometimes thought,
'Shouldn't you care more?'
But as we lived together,

I realized something.
It's not that my husband is cold.

He is simply


someone who doesn't increase worries more than necessary.
That expression fits better.
When I'm worried about something,

my husband often says,
'So, what is the current problem?'

Surprisingly, I can't answer this question

right away.
Because in my head,

many meanings are attached
to a single event.
For example,

let's say I made a mistake at work.
The fact that happened is,

'I made a mistake.'
That's all.
Yet in my head,

I made a mistake.

↓
My evaluation might go down.
↓
I might lose trust.
↓
Maybe I have low ability.
The story keeps getting bigger.

My husband then says,

'Isn't making a mistake and
your evaluation going down a different story?'
Every time I hear those words,
I realize that I had jumbled together things

that I thought were one problem.
Facts.
Predictions.

Emotions.
Self-evaluation.
Even though they are actually all different things,
I was holding them as one lump

and suffering.
Looking back now,


what I was suffering from
was not the facts themselves,but perhaps the interpretations I attached to them?

Sensitive people have the power to
receive information in detail.
That's why
they are also good at finding connections.
However, if that power is too strong,

they might connect things that don't even have a relationship.
My husband isn't reducing information,

he is organizing it well.
Facts are facts.
Predictions are predictions.

Emotions are emotions.
In his head,

they are properly shelved.
For a long time,
I thought this was 'insensitivity.'

Actually, it was the opposite.


My husband wasn't ignoring the problem,
he was looking at the outline of the problem accurately.



That was all it was.𓂃𓈒𓏸

🌼 Why do we make assumptions on our own?

What I think is amazing about watching my husband is
that he doesn't force a conclusion
on things he doesn't understand.

For example, a late reply.

I immediately start looking for a reason.

Did I say something bad?

Did something happen?

But my husband just says,
'Maybe they're just busy,' and that's it.

He doesn't think about how he was perceived,
and he doesn't look for causes.

He just says,
if you don't know, you don't know.

Hold.

I always thought
that was being dry.

Recently,
I've come to think that
it might be an attitude of treating reality
carefully.

People are bad at uncertain states.

They feel unsettled in a state without answers.

So, when there is a blank,
they try to fill it with their own story.
And

if anxiety is strong, that story
usually heads in a bad direction.
But... come to think of it,

the reason for a late reply
is something only the person themselves knows.
…Despite that,

I sometimes treated my imagination as fact.
My husband has a very clear boundary for that.
If there is no evidence, don't assume.

If you don't know, put it on hold.

That attitude isn't indifference,

I think it was wisdom to

not confuse reality with imagination.
𓂃𓈒𓏸

🌼 Reasons for caring too much about people's words

My husband
isn't easily swayed by people's words either.

Even if someone says something negative to him,
he's like, 'I guess there are people who think that way.'

He often ignores what I say too.

I'm the type who carries people's words around
for days, so it was really mysterious.
Why are we so different?

Thinking about that, I realized something.

I was receiving the other person's words

as an evaluation.
Conversely, my husband receives the other person's words
as information.

For example,
when someone says,
'I don't think that's right,'

I feel,
'I was rejected.'
But my husband

receives it as,
'I see, there's that way of thinking too.'
Even with the same words, the meaning attached is different.

Of course, there are words that hurt anyone.

Someone else's opinion that differs from yours is
a story about the world that person sees.

That person's experience.
That person's values.
That person's scale.

It is not an absolute truth.

Since I've been able to think that way,
the number of times I've been swallowed by words has decreased a little.

I don't have to take everything to heart,
and I can think it's okay to let it slide.

Just that made my heart a little lighter.



𓂃𓈒𓏸

🌼 Conclusion

I'll probably
continue to overthink things.

I'll read too much into things,
and there will be days when I worry about things
I don't need to worry about.

But more than before,
I've become able to stop and ask,
'Is that a fact?'

Separating worries.
Not making assumptions.
Not reacting too much to words.

For my husband,
these might be obvious things.

But for me,
they were important perspectives that lead to living more easily.

And
the biggest realization was,
I wasn't suffering because of the facts,
but I was suffering because of the interpretations I attached to the facts.
Sensitivity has its good points, doesn't it?

There are things you can notice a lot,

and you can also empathize with people's pain.
If that sensitivity excessively

makes you suffer yourself,
stop sometimes,

and try asking yourself,
'Is that a fact?'
'Is that imagination?'
That small habit

might make the hearts of sensitive people
a little lighter.
𓂃𓈒𓏸

🌿 Today's realization


When you trace the true nature of worries,
sometimes 'interpretation' is
what has grown large, not the facts.

So, first,
try separating the problems one by one.

Just doing that will make your heart quiet.

Thank you
for reading
this far ♡

𓂃𓈒𓏸

🌼 Aside

While saying 'practice what you preach'...
the article is still incomplete,
so I want to finish it.

The 'Cherish yourself...' articlewas,
for me,
like a culmination of everything so far ☺️

Many 'like' reactions,
follows, warm comments,
and even adding it to a magazine.
Thank you so much ♡

I'm realizing again,
'Oh, people are reading it.'

Recently,
I haven't been able to find much time to read,
so I'd like to visit the notes of my readers
for the next few days ✨

I'll continue to write about things I feel in my daily life
and small realizations.

I look forward to your continued support 🍀

I hope you all have a good weekend too ♪

𓂃𓈒𓏸

🌼 Bonus

A little early,
I received some sashimi for Father's Day ☺️

🎧 Today's recommendation 🎵

'Kotozute'

Bialystocks

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