It has been there since long before I was born
The mandarin oranges given in return are not just ordinary mandarin oranges.
～The 5 elements that nurture the 'ground' Part 1～
Ahhh!
Man, it has suddenly gotten cold, hasn't it?
On nights like this, it's the best to sip slowly while rolling a hot sake carafe in your palms. This is exactly what it means to have it soak into your very soul... (gulp).
Whew, this is the drunken ramblings of a fool!
Last time, I talked about becoming a detective who reads the massive 'ground' behind a person from the 'traces of life,' like tea stains on a cup.
If you can see the 'ground,' even simple dirt starts to look like 'precious memories.'
But here, another question arises from this drunkard.
'In the first place, where do those 'precious values' come from?'
People don't just create values on their own.
Just as plants grow by absorbing nutrients from the soil, a person's values are born from the soil of 'communal nature' that they have lived in.
In the book I am currently writing, I have organized the elements that make up this soil into '5 elements'.
Starting today, let's unravel these 5 elements one by one while enjoying them as snacks for our drinks.
This time is the first installment, about 'ancient customs'!
🍊 Will you accept that mandarin orange?
A common dilemma often encountered in the field.
It is the exchange of 'tips' or 'gifts' from service users.
For example, when a home care helper is about to leave.
The elderly user (Taki-san, 85 years old) desperately calls out to them, holding a mandarin orange that had been offered at the family altar.
'Take this with you. I'm sorry I couldn't offer you any hospitality after you went out of your way to come here.'
The helper is troubled. When they refuse, saying, 'It's against the rules,' Taki-san looks dejected and mutters, 'You are so cold...'
If you look at this only as a 'figure (objective fact),' it is a battle between 'a gift that violates rules (figure)' versus 'compliance (figure).'
However, let's put on glasses called 'ancient customs (ground)' here.
Element of 'communal nature' (1): Ancient customs
'Ancient customs' refers to habits and traditions that have been repeated for a long time in that region or community.
In the village society where Taki-san grew up, 'if someone does something for you, you must return it in some form' may have been the absolute rule for maintaining human relationships.
Through the forms of ceremonial occasions and ways of participating in seasonal events, the code of conduct of 'what constitutes courtesy' and 'how to express connections with people' is ingrained to the marrow of their bones.
In other words, for Taki-san, the mandarin orange is not just a substance for vitamin C replenishment (lol).
'I want to build an equal human relationship with you.'
'I am not a miserable existence that only receives charity.'
This is an expression of human dignity.
To dismiss it bluntly by saying, "It's the rules," would be to deny the "way of life (customs)" that Taki-san has cherished for decades. That is why it is called "cold-hearted."
If you know the "ground," the way you decline changes
If we can see this "ground (long-standing customs)," the way we professionals respond will change.
Even if we cannot accept the mandarin orange itself (the figure), we can accept the "feelings based on customs (the ground)" that lie behind it.
"Taki-san, thank you very much. I am truly happy for your kindness. You have always valued people in this way, haven't you?"
First, show respect for those values (customs). Then,
"But you see, my company is very strict about this, and if I accept this, I will be scolded. Your kind feelings are more than enough for me."
If you convey it that way, Taki-san's pride (the ground) is protected.
The probability that she will be convinced, thinking, "Ah, this person understands my way of doing things, but cannot accept it due to their position," will increase significantly.
This is the power to see the "invisible (the ground)."
📝 Next time preview: Element 2 "History"
Well, today I talked about the soil known as "long-standing customs."
Even in a single mandarin orange, there is a drama of "etiquette" that has been passed down continuously in that region.
Next time, I would like to talk about the second element of communality, "History".
How the hardships that the region has overcome influence people's "strength" and "resignation."
This looks like it's going to be a deep conversation as well...
"I may be dazed, but I still look at the background properly. I may be drunk, but I don't forget my manners."
With that professional pride in my heart, just one more drink tonight...
So, thank you all for staying with me until the end this time as well!
Please do share the "unusual customs" or "return gift episodes" from your own regions in the comments section!
Well then, cheers to today as well!🍻
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