Caring for Aging Parents Starts Suddenly | What I Want to Share After Seeing My Parents Off: Things You Can Do Before Caregiving Begins

Do you think that caring for your parents is still a long way off?

When you reach your 50s, you have more time to think about your future. Your career, how you will work from here on out, anxieties about side jobs or income, and preparations for old age. I myself have been writing articles while exploring how to live the second half of my life.

I, too, was always so busy trying to get my own life in order that I didn't have the luxury of thinking deeply about my parents' aging.

However, one day, that reality arrives suddenly. A fall, hospitalization, a fracture, a decline in cognitive function—the trigger is truly sudden.

I also saw both of my parents, my father and my mother, off. My father collapsed from a stroke when I was 10, leaving him with left-sided paralysis. My mother lived healthily after that, but caregiving became a reality for her after she fell and fractured her femur.

Back then, I was desperate to rebuild my own life, and I feel that I wasn't involved enough. That is exactly why there is something I want to share now.

Caregiving preparation is something that can sometimes be too late to start once caregiving has already begun.

In this article, I will share what you can do before caregiving begins, based on my experience of seeing my parents off and my perspective as a care professional.

By reading this article, you will understand the following:

• Events that easily trigger the start of parental care

• Things to check before care becomes necessary

• Topics to discuss with family to avoid trouble later

• Preparations to avoid panic, from the perspective of a care professional

• A mindset for facing your parents without aiming for perfection

I hope this helps provide some peace of mind for those who are feeling anxious about caring for their parents in the future.

Caring for parents truly begins suddenly

Many people may have the image that caregiving begins gradually.
However, in reality, life can change in an instant due to a single event.

In my case, it was triggered by my mother's femur fracture from a fall.
My mother had been living surrounded by my brother's family and grandchildren, but after the fracture, her life became one of hospitalization and rehabilitation.

The belief that 'they are still healthy, so it's fine' can change in an instant.

I have seen this often in the caregiving field as well.

• Fractures from falls

• Cerebral infarction or cerebral hemorrhage

• Progression of dementia symptoms

• Hospitalization due to pneumonia or other conditions

Events like these can drastically change a family's roles and daily life.

That is precisely why I feel that preparation is necessary while they are still healthy.

Why I became a caregiver

My mother's fracture made caregiving a personal reality for me.
Even with the support of my brother and his wife, I always felt that I wasn't involved enough.

At that time, after passing 40 and while receiving unemployment benefits, I learned about a recruitment for basic caregiver training through vocational training.
It was a time when I was considering my next job, and I thought this knowledge might be useful for my own future, so I applied immediately.

As a result, I completed five months of training, obtained my certification, and entered the field of caregiving.
I learned for two years at a geriatric health services facility with a specialized dementia ward, and after that, I went on to work at a residential-style private nursing home.

My mother also moved in there as the first resident.
By that time, she was alreadyrequiring long-term care level 5 and was almost completely bedridden.

I still have feelings of wishing I could have been involved sooner.
Even so, being able to spend those final moments by my mother's side was a great comfort to me.

Looking back now, I believe that the choice I made at that time became the catalyst for reclaiming time with my mother.

Things to prepare before caregiving begins

As a caregiver who has seen many families, I feel that those who are prepared are less likely to panic.

Keep track of your parents' information

At a minimum, it is reassuring to confirm the following.

• Family doctor

• Chronic conditions

• Medications being taken

• Where insurance cards and medical registration cards are kept

• Emergency contact information

In the event of a sudden hospitalization, not knowing these things alone will cause significant confusion.

Discussing roles within the family

In caregiving, differences in commitment levels among family members can become a major source of stress.

• Who will handle hospital matters

• Who will manage finances

• Emergency contact points

Just talking about these things a little in advance makes a big difference in the sense of burden.

Knowing where to seek advice

Know where you can go for help first when you are in trouble.

• Community General Support Center

• Municipal government office

• Care manager

It is very important not to shoulder everything alone.

You don't have to provide perfect care

I was not able to be there for my father's final moments.
I still remember feeling relieved when I saw his peaceful face.

On the other hand, I was able to watch over my mother until the end.
Even though she was repeatedly admitted to and discharged from the hospital, my brother's family and grandchildren often came to visit her.

There is no single right answer in caregiving.
Some people can stay by their side the whole time, while others find it difficult due to work or distance.

That is exactly why I want to share this.

You don't have to aim for perfection. There is meaning in being involved in a way that you can manage.

I myself do not have zero regrets.
But being by my mother's side to the extent that I could is something that saves me a little bit now.

Summary

Caring for aging parents can happen to anyone suddenly.

That is why there are preparations you can make now, while they are still healthy.

• Know your parents' health information

• Talk about it as a family

• Know where to go for consultation

• Decide not to carry the burden alone (← This is the most important one)

Even just doing these things will make the anxiety when the time comes a little lighter.

There are many things I wish I had known sooner, too.
But because I had that experience, there are things I can share like this now.

Thank you for reading until the end.

If there is anyone else feeling anxious about their parents or caregiving, please do not carry it alone. If you would like, I would be happy to hear your thoughts through a Like, follow, or comment.❤

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