Since becoming a father, I have chosen "no regrets" over "what is right."
The other day, I went shopping with my daughter.
When she found clothes featuring her favorite character, her eyes lit up and she said,
"Daddy, I want these clothes!"
We had already bought several things that day.
"We've bought a lot today, so how about we get them another time?"
When I told her that, she looked a little sad.
Even so,
"Okay."
she nodded slightly and took my hand again.
At that moment, I thought,
"We can just come back again."
—
A few weeks later.
I decided I should have bought them after all, so I went back to the store.
But,
only my daughter's size was sold out.
Even when I asked the clerk,
they said there were no plans to restock.
My daughter stared at the clothes,
"They're gone," she said simply, and walked on to the next aisle.
The one who was most shocked,
was surely me.
The look of joy on her face that day,
and the way she smiled even though she was a little sad,
I remembered it all.
—
Of course,
I don't think I should buy her everything.
Learning to go without is necessary, and
as a parent, there are days when I decide "we aren't buying anything today."
My judgment that day,
was not wrong from my perspective at the time.
But,
what I regretted,
was not that I couldn't buy the clothes.
It was that I had assumed "another time" would always come.
—
Children,
grow a little bit every day.
Their interests change.
The size of clothes they wear changes.
"I want this."
Even today, when she says that to me,
it surely won't last forever.
That is why lately,
every time I have to choose something,
I have started asking myself.
"Is this the right choice?"
Instead,
"Will my future self regret this choice in a few years?"
—
I don't know what the right answer is.
There is work.
There is housework.
Reality never goes exactly as planned.
Even so,
"Let's choose the path with no regrets."
Since I started thinking that way,
I feel like the scenery of being a father has changed a little.
—
Since becoming a parent,
I have found myself thinking more about "what kind of father I want to be"
rather than "how to raise my child."
There is no single answer to that.
But,
the ways of thinking I return to whenever I am lost have gradually increased within me.
I have written about those ways of thinking in detail in another article.
I hope that for those of you who are also struggling with parenting, there is something here that can be of help.