Was 'Lack of Motivation' Just Laziness? — What My Past Self Misunderstood | Episode 4
Until recently,
I also always thought:
'I have no motivation,
so I must just be lazy.'
I know what I need to do, but I can't move.
I think I have to do it, but my body feels heavy.
My feelings just spin in circles,
and in the end, nothing gets done.
When you're in that state,
it's easier to come up with words
that blame yourself
than words that protect you.
Back then,
'You lack drive'
'You're being soft'
'You have no grit'
before anyone else could say those things to me,
I would throw them at myself
over and over again.
That's why I think
I was even more exhausted.
Looking back now,
my past self
wasn't 'being lazy,'
I was just being stopped.
Your body
doesn't break down in an obvious way
right after you push it too hard.
After a little time has passed,
it quietly applies the brakes
in the form of
'no motivation'
or 'no energy.'
I didn't understand that back then,
and I mistook the brakes
for the accelerator.
'If I press down, I should move,
so why am I not moving?'
When you lack motivation,
most people think it's
a problem of 'feelings.'
But,
I can say clearly now:
what was lacking back then
wasn't motivation,
but recovery.
My body
had already pushed itself enough.
Even so,
if you keep telling yourself to 'try harder,'
of course you're going to stop.🍃
My past self
didn't trust the version of me
that had stopped at all.
'If I stay like this, I'll be ruined'
'I have to move more'
'Everyone else is doing just fine'
That anxiety
was always somewhere in the back of my mind.
But thinking about it now,
that way of stopping
was actually quite logical.
It was a stage where the only way to protect myself
was to stop moving.
A state of lacking motivation
is hard to distinguish from laziness.
But there is a decisive difference.
Laziness
happens when you have room to spare.
The brake of recovery
happens when you have no room left.
My past self
had no room left.
That's why
I had no motivation.
That was all there was to it.🧭
…That is what I can say now.
But to be honest,
even if I had told my past self
this explanation exactly as it is,
I don't think it would have resonated.
'You needed recovery,'
even if someone said that,
I would have thought, 'That's just an excuse,'
or 'In the end, you're just being lazy,'
and I would have pushed back against it somewhere inside.
What my past self
really wanted
wasn't a correct explanation.
'It's okay to stop now'
'It will be okay even if you do'
Even if I were told that,
I wasn't in a state to believe it right away.
Just,
a time where I wasn't blamed.
A time where I wasn't being chased.
A little bit of breathing room.
I think,
that was all I really needed.🍀
If there is someone in the same place now,
I see my past self
in them.
You're blaming yourself,
but you can't move forward.
You're anxious,
but you can't move.
That
is not slacking off.
It might just be that you have entered a stage of rebuilding yourself.🧭
💌 Conclusion
The 'me who lacked motivation' was not my enemy.
If anything, it was an important sign that arrived quite late.
I can say that now.
If you are currently blaming yourself for being unable to move,
please try to pause for just a moment.
My past self was able to move forward
by stopping.
That was a proper milestone.🧭🌿
🌱 Next Issue Preview
Next time,
“There are times when the harder you try, the less things work out”
I will look back more specifically at the moments when effort becomes a brake.
🤖 AI Summary
In this episode, I look back on why the 'period when I knew the right things but couldn't do them' was necessary.
At the time, my way of trying and the information I had were not wrong at all.
The reason I still couldn't move forward was simply that my body and mind 'weren't standing there yet'.
What I understand now is that those detours helped cultivate the sense to distinguish my own state.
The past where I couldn't do things was not a failure,
but a preparation period for moving forward.
This fourth episode is one that quietly illuminates why the Five Senses Diet values 'perspective' over 'method'.
🔎 As a supplement (for those who need it)
The idea of 'using analysis' that I shared in this final episode
is not about getting the answer to make your diet successful.
Analysis in the Five Senses Diet is like a 'map' to check the positional relationship of:
- What state your current body is in to receive things
- Where strain is likely to occur
- Whether the order needs to be changed
Pause and look before increasing methods.
Know where you are before deciding which direction to put your effort into.
As options for that, the Five Senses Analysis Lab offers several types of analysis.
The philosophy of analysis and the positioning of each menu
are summarized on a pinned page👇
👉 Five Senses Analysis Lab | Analysis Philosophy and Menu List (Pinned Article)
If you are considering a diet, start here (Light Plan)👇
If you have failed at dieting several times, start here (Basic Plan)👇
If you want to take dieting seriously, start here (Deep Plan)👇
[Hyu-san! | Thank you for featuring this in your magazine🌌✨]
Hyu-san, thank you so much for adding '🐾 Episode 39 | Star Compass—A Story of the "Inner Direction" Guided by Signposts, Sounds, and Prayers Shining in the Darkness' to your 'Small Bookshelf of Gratitude and Connections'.
The fact that this story has been gently placed on the bookshelf of Hyu-san, who values the word 'connection'.
That alone made me feel as if a light had been quietly added.
The Star Compass is a story about moving forward by relying not on a loud voice, but on the small inner sound.
I am truly grateful that you received that, and that you added it to your precious magazine.
From here on out, too,
while searching for the 'direction' between light and shadow,
I will continue to write, one step at a time.
Thank you so very much.🌠✨
The magazine where it was featured is here👇
The article that was featured is here👇
【Rikopin-san! | Thank you for featuring it in your magazine🍅✨】
Rikopin-san, thank you so much for adding
'"A Little Bit About Myself..." | Stretching My Legs at a Carbonated Hot Spring, Floating Away♨️ | Talking to Birds!? | Sam Altman and AGI'
to your "Treasure Chest of Words That Move the Heart."
The word "treasure chest" is wonderful, isn't it?
Thinking that my relaxed carbonated spring time is inside it
makes me feel a little shy, but happy.
The time spent floating in the hot spring,
the time spent talking to birds on my own,
and the time spent vaguely thinking about AGI.
They may look unrelated at first glance, but
they are all "time spent truly living in the present."
I am truly grateful that you picked up on that atmosphere.
From here on out, too,
a little bit about myself.
And a little bit about the world.
I will continue to write, loosely, but without forgetting the core.
Thank you.🍀✨
The magazine where it was featured is here👇
The article that was featured is here👇
【Perin🍡-san! | Thank you for featuring it in your magazine🌕✨】
Perin🍡-san, thank you so much for adding
'What Do Theories Fail to Solve? — The Limits Taken On by CTMU and the Remaining Questions | 🌗Phase III | Episode 4'
to "Even if the toppings are different, the vessel is one🫶."
"Even if the toppings are different, the vessel is one."
I really love this phrase.
Theories, questions, and perspectives,
even if what sits on the surface is different,
the vessel that receives them is connected somewhere.
Phase III is not a story that provides answers,
but rather a story that intentionally leaves behind 'unsolvable questions.'
Thank you for accepting that just as it is.
And for including it in your precious magazine.
I am truly grateful from the bottom of my heart.
I will continue to quietly dig into the 'margins' that lie beyond theory.
Thank you so very much 🌌✨
I will keep exploring the 'margins' that lie beyond theory.
The magazine it was featured in is here👇
The article it was featured in is here👇
[Melt & Create! | Thank you for the magazine feature 🔵✨]
Melt & Create, thank you so much for adding
'"A little bit about myself..." | Taking a short trip to a carbonated hot spring
floating away♨️ | Talking to birds!? | Sam Altman and AGI' to
'M&C Communications Life Essence'.
I really love the name 'Life Essence'.
The time spent floating in the carbonated spring,
the time spent chatting with birds on my own,
and the time spent idly thinking about the future of AGI.
They are all, in fact, the essence of life.
They may not be flashy,
but they are moments that definitely help me center myself.
I am truly happy that you embraced that atmosphere.
I will continue to scoop up these little essences
while moving back and forth between the everyday and the future.
Thank you 🔵✨
The magazine it was featured in is here👇
The article it was featured in is here👇
[Teika! | Thank you for the magazine feature 🌿✨]
Teika, thank you so much for adding
'Hmm... the wee-hee is...' to
'Guilty but OK | Encouraging articles for tough days'.
“Guilty but OK”.
These words are so kind, aren't they?
Days when things are tough.
Days when things don't go well.
Days when you feel a bit pathetic.
On days like that,
having a place that says “It’s still OK”.
It feels like such a relief.
This article was,
not just empty platitudes,
but a moment of raw, slightly messy honesty.
That you accepted it just as it is,
I am truly grateful from the bottom of my heart.
Even on tough days,
may there be a little space to smile.
Moving forward,
I will continue to write without pushing myself, but with sincerity.
Thank you so much🌙✨
Click here for the magazine it was featured in👇
Click here for the article that was featured👇
【Shizuku-san! | Thank you for featuring me in your magazine🌱✨】
【Shizuku-san! | Thank you for featuring me in your magazine🌿✨】
Shizuku-san, thank you so much for adding
“What Theories Don't Solve — The Limits Taken On by CTMU and the Remaining Questions | 🌗 Phase III | Episode 4”
and
“Hmm... Wee-hee is...”
these two articles to
“With Gratitude for Our Connection — Notes That Stayed in My Heart”
and
“A Gentle Cheer for You Who Are Doing Your Best✨”,
thank you truly.
One is a “story of a theory that leaves questions behind.”
The other is “the raw honesty of a tough day.”
That you gently placed these two pieces, which have completely different textures,
into their respective vessels of thought.
I am very happy and honored by this.
Theory sometimes fails to provide answers.
But honest feelings can sometimes be a quiet salvation.
I am truly grateful that you accepted both of those.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
From here on out as well,
I will continue to cherish and write about both
sharp questions and soft, honest feelings.
Thank you so very much🌱✨
The magazine where this was featured is here👇
The article where this was featured is here👇
The magazine where this was featured is here👇
The article where this was featured is here👇
【m a n a ✿-san! | Thank you for featuring me in your magazine🌷✨】
m a n a ✿-san, thank you so much for adding
“Moon... Weehee is...”
to your “🐶with you 🐱 ― Always Ski” magazine.
“with you”.
These words are so kind, aren't they?
On days when I'm energetic, on days when I'm struggling,
and on days when I'm feeling a bit soft and messy.
Just having a place that says “I'm with you”
is a salvation in itself.
This article was
written with my emotions still unorganized,
just as they were.
I am very happy that you welcomed it
into your warm magazine.
From here on out as well,
including the days when I'm not at my best,
I will continue to write just as I am.
Thank you so very much🌿✨
The magazine that featured this is here👇
The article that featured this is here👇