"Because I haven't fully become a father yet": The gift my husband gave me after I got Father's Day wrong by a week [Parenting & Random Diary]

It was a sudden life of living with my mother-in-law, but
somehow, after about a month (and a month felt like a long time...),
we were able to return to our life of three: me, my husband, and our son.
I was so saved by the comments and likes on that post. It was the energy I needed to get through that month.
I hope to post about life after living with my mother-in-law again later. There were many things I learned.

However, this past month was filled with being overwhelmed by busyness,
and my ability to handle my daily tasks had dropped significantly. I'd like to talk about that first this time.

I was somehow managing my daily life.
But I finally messed up.

Believe it or not...
I was seriously mistaken about Father's Day by a whole week.

I thought Father's Day on June 21st was actually June 28th.
The only person I prepare things for on Father's Day is my husband.
(Sorry, Dad, I always just call you.)

Ever since my husband became a father to our son,
I have prepared some kind of gift and dinner from our son and me.

That's as far as I had thought.
But honestly, my heart and body were truly exhausted...

And then, while reading everyone's articles on note last Saturday morning, I felt something was off...

Father's Day is a week away, so
why is everyone talking about Father's Day so much??

...I thought.

That makes sense!
Because Father's Day is tomorrow!!

I looked at the calendar and realized.
...I had been mistaken by a week.
I was tired from a month of living with my mother-in-law and my usual parenting and work.
I had reached my limit to the point of making such a mistake.

I told my husband the truth.
I said I hadn't prepared anything because I thought Father's Day was next week.

Then my husband said:

He said.

I found myself feeling incredibly saved by these words.
To my own surprise.
I felt like I was the one who received a gift.

Because...
Ever since my son was in my belly,
And since I gave birth to my son all alone during the COVID-19 pandemic,
I have been a mother.
I had no choice but to become a mother/mom on my own.

My husband was busy with work, and I did almost all of the childcare.
Holding him, breastfeeding, baby food, baths, diaper changes, hospital visits, and dealing with crying at night were all me...
(I cut corners on making meals for my husband, which makes me smile wryly,
but he did make meals for us adults on the weekends.)

My husband grew up in a so-called Showa-era household.
One where the division of labor based on gender was firmly rooted...
My father-in-law probably never even changed a diaper.
If he didn't know the example of a couple raising a child together,
it might have been difficult.

Even so, while clashing over and over again,
I kept telling my husband that I wanted us to raise our child together.

In reality, it is still a situation of me doing one-person childcare.
But I feel like his heart is changing little by little.
What made me think that was,

Those words.

Even if it's still a long way off in reality, I felt like I saw a light in my husband's words.
My mind and body are at their limit from exhaustion.
But it will surely be okay.
I can make a fresh start again.

I'm not perfect at all either.
I get stubborn about doing childcare on my own,
and sometimes I speak harshly to my husband or don't ask for help.
We are both incomplete.
May we complement each other as a couple and be able to celebrate becoming mother and father next year and the year after.

Because I got Father's Day wrong by a week,
it was a Father's Day where I received some very important words.

*For the sudden living together with my mother-in-law, see below

Thank you for reading until the end.