5 Parenting Techniques That Are More Effective Than Scolding

Your "anxiety"
might be getting through to your child.

"I don't have a degree or knowledge, can I really raise my child properly?"
Have you ever felt that way and lost your confidence?

Actually, I was the same.
When my child was in elementary school,
I couldn't answer their questions about middle school entrance exam problems,
and I would just get depressed, thinking, "Why can't I teach them anything?" (Middle school entrance exam problems are special and difficult... just an excuse ^^;)

But one day, I realized something.
What children really need
might be "how we interact with them" rather than "knowledge."

From that point on, my parenting
started to change little by little.

Based on that experience,
I will introduce 5 ways to interact with your child so they grow without you having to scold them.

I'm sure you'll find something you can start doing today.

1. First, let's start by "finding the good points"

⭐︎ Even if you don't know the subject, you can pass on the attitude of learning
Have you ever been startled when asked, "How do you do this?"

When I was asked about the stroke order of a kanji
and couldn't answer,
I replied, "Mom didn't know that either! Shall we look it up together? ♪"

Then my child smiled
and said, "Then I'll teach you."

You don't have to be perfect.
Showing your child that you face things you don't know
leads to their own learning ability.

▶︎ Things you can do starting today
Let's make "Shall we look it up together? ♪" a parent-child motto.

2. Try saying "You worked hard" instead of focusing on scores

☆ Just looking at their effort instead of their grades makes a difference
When you see test scores,
you tend to want to say, "Couldn't you have tried harder?"

But one day, to my son who didn't get a good score,
I said, "I saw you working hard at your desk lately,"
and he smiled, saying, "Mom, you were watching?"

I realized that for a child,
the fact that you "were watching" is happier than the score itself.

▶︎ Things you can do starting today
"You worked really hard,"
"I noticed you were concentrating,"
try delivering words that show you "saw their effort."

3. Try laughing and talking about Mom's failures

☆ The magic to foster a heart that doesn't fear failure
When my child was feeling down,
I would often laugh and say, "Mom couldn't recite the 7 times table at all either!"

Then my child would
"Even Mom?!" and smile, looking a little relieved.

You don't have to be a perfect mom.
Being able to think, "Mom makes mistakes too,"
provides a great sense of security for a child.

▶︎ Things you can do starting today
When your child makes a mistake,
try gently adding a story about your own mistake
that you can both laugh about.

④ Try asking, "What do you think?"

☆ Nurturing the ability to think rather than teaching answers
When I felt like interfering with homework or schedules,
I made it a point to ask, "What do you want to start with tomorrow?"

Even though my child would say "I don't know" at first,
they gradually started answering on their own, like "Maybe I'll do kanji first."

I realized that small experiences of "deciding for oneself"
lead to a child's independence.

▶︎ Things you can do starting today
"What time will you study?"
"Bath first or dinner first?"
Let's incorporate questions that encourage thinking into daily life.

⑤ Try saying "Thank you" a lot

☆ Affection, more than knowledge, builds a child's foundation
When my son was in the lower grades of elementary school,
when he cleared the dishes,
I said, "Thank you, that was a big help,"
and he smiled with a look of pure pride.

From then on, I made a conscious effort to say "thank you."
I felt that children grow up better
through the "feeling of being cherished"
rather than through "correctness."

▶︎ Things you can do starting today
Try saying a small "thank you" out loud three times a day.

To you, who read this

My child is now a working adult.
But I was never a "perfect mother"
who could teach them difficult subjects.

I just kept telling them, "Mom is always on your side"
and "I know you can do it."
Even so, my child
carved out their own future.

It's okay if you don't have all the knowledge.
Depending on how you interact with them,
children will grow up just fine.

There are things you can do precisely because you are an ordinary, imperfect mother.
Believing that,
please take your own first step in parenting.

– * – * – * –
What you want to do next is up to your own pace...

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