For those of you tired of the workplace and social media: How to live in the 'masquerade' called life

We live our daily lives using various 'masks'.

• The mask of a reliable boss at work

• The mask of a father or husband at home

• The mask of a relaxed friend when with friends

• A different mask entirely on social media

I feel that life is like a 'masquerade'.

Everyone wears a 'mask' to protect themselves or to make their relationships with others go more smoothly.

I don't think that's a bad thing.
In fact, I think it's necessary wisdom for surviving in society.
However, I believe we feel life is difficult because we hide our 'true selves' too much behind those masks.

I have thought about how to live while cherishing one's own persona through the metaphor of the masquerade in life.

Why do people wear masks?

The reason people wear masks is simple.
'Acting like the person appropriate for the situation'allows one to gain peace of mind and trust.

For example, if you were to reveal all your true feelings while at work, it could lead to trouble.

I am actually a lazy person.
If I showed my true self at work by saying 'this is a hassle,' it would naturally... cause problems.
And if you use your work mask at home, your wife might get angry and say, 'Home is not work!'

Everyone must use different language, responses, and ways of interacting with people depending on their role. I call these 'masks' here.

The psychologist Jung apparently used the concept of a 'persona' to explain that people are beings who wear masks to fulfill roles in society.
When I looked it up... it came up. It's the same idea as mine.
Not bad, Jung!

Masks can be said to be for smoothing out human relationships and also as a shield to protect oneself.

However, the problem is that by continuing to wear a mask for a long time, 'you even forget your own true face'.That is the fundamental reason why I started note.

We who live in a society like a masquerade

Modern society is truly a large-scale masquerade.
If you look at social media, everyone tries to make themselves look good. At work, they act like a 'capable person,' and at home, they behave as a 'good parent' or 'good partner'.

Of course, that is not something to be denied.
I also act as I should.
But... the problem is 'the mask erodes your true essence, and it becomes painful'..

For example, have you ever experienced something like this?

1. Every time you post on social media, you measure your self-worth by the number of 'likes'.
Even with a note article, if you don't get any 'likes,' you might feel like, 'Am I not needed by anyone?'
As a result, you end up posting things that are forced exaggerations of the truth, one after another, just to satisfy your need for approval.

2. You are so busy playing the 'perfect boss' at work that you are exhausted inside.
You feel pressured every day, as if you are expected to be 100% perfect—never making mistakes, knowing everything, and always making the right decisions.

3. The image of the 'good father/mother' is so overwhelming that you feel suffocated every day.
You are dominated by the 'should' mentality of how a real father or mother ought to be, or if you hear that Montessori education is good, you worry whether your current choices are correct.
Also, you lack confidence in your actions as a parent, such as scolding your children too harshly or, conversely, being unable to scold them at all.
Overall, you feel anxious about the choices you make as a parent that determine your child's personality and experiences.

I believe these behaviors stem from'being obsessed with a single mask' or 'thinking that you only have one mask.'In other words,
I think the cause is that you have lost track of where your 'true self' is.

Valuing your persona

What is important here, I believe, is not to deny the mask, but'to find a balance between your masked self and your true self.'

Masks are necessary.
However, I believe that not losing sight of the persona that forms your 'core' is what stabilizes your heart and gives you a sense of self that isn't swayed by the mask.

I think valuing your true self means thinking about it this way.

• You don't need to show the same face or a 'good' face to everyone.

• But you still protect your core values and beliefs beneath the mask.

• Because you cherish that core, you can use your masks in a way that is 'true to yourself' in any situation.

A mask is just a mask.
It is 'you' who puts on the mask, and the self wearing the mask is not your true self. It is simply your social role.

That is precisely why... the importance of time spent without a mask

To value your persona, I think the easiest and most effective thing to do is toconsciously create 'time to take off the mask.'

・Time spent taking a walk alone
・Time spent immersing yourself in a hobby

In these moments, we can return to our 'true selves.'
However, there are 24 hours in a day, and if you spend 8–10 hours working and 8 hours sleeping, you have about 6–8 hours left.
If you have a family, you naturally have family time too... so in my case, the 'time without a mask' is about 1 to 2 hours a day.

Those 1 to 2 hours are precious times for me to 'remember my own existence.' Time flies during these moments. An hour or two passes in the blink of an eye, and I get excited... and end up having trouble falling asleep, leading to sleep deprivation.

But I think that is what my heart is craving.

To enjoy the masquerade called life

If life is a masquerade, perhaps we must find our own way of dancing while still following the rules of the event.

It is exhausting to dance just to match someone else, and constantly revealing your true face would likely ruin the atmosphere.
That is why I believe what is important is not just having time as the 'masked self,' but increasing the time you can be your 'true self.'

To do that, you need to clarify your values and the principles you want to hold dear.

・What do you value?
・When do you feel fulfilled?
・Conversely, in what situations do you feel distressed from wearing a mask too much?

By re-examining these, you will likely understand which mask you are wearing in the masquerade of society that makes you suffer, and which mask is enjoyable because it is close to your 'own core.'

It is best if the self wearing the mask and your true self are close.
If the self you are when with friends is your 'true self,' then that means it is not a mask, but your authentic self.
*I wonder if you understand what I mean... this is hard to explain...

Summary

Have a firm sense of your own persona, and then use your masks flexibly. And, ensure you have time to take off the mask and return to your true self.

I believe that is what is necessary to dance through the masquerade called life.

What kind of mask are you wearing to live today?
And, are you able to cherish the 'true self' beneath that mask?

I am doing something I love here on Note: 'writing articles that reach someone.' In other words, this Note is in a state very close to my 'true self.'
Why don't you think about what your 'true self' wants to do?

[Request]
I would like to earn some pocket money through my writing activities on Note. I have also written about this in my self-introduction article.

If you like this article, please give it a 'like'; if you want to see more, please follow me; and if you feel like giving me a little pocket money, please send a tip.

If you found it interesting but not quite enough to give pocket money, I would be happy if you could share it on some social media.

Comments are also very welcome! However, I will basically be replying late at night.
If you get a reply during the day, it means I am replying secretly during my lunch break or in the restroom lol