What I thought about while riding in an ambulance. --The reason I switched from full-time to part-time.

Since I have been writing more note articles, I thought I would talk a little about myself today.

A siren wailing in the distance. The rattling of the vehicle. As I watched the white lights stream across the ceiling, I was thinking vaguely.

"I had always thought that working full-time was the right answer."

Working properly.
Earning properly.
Being a proper part of society.

I thought that as long as I could do those things, I would be fine.

I was happy to be recognized by the company,
and I thought being busy was proof that I was needed.

But, little by little, I was pushing myself too hard.

The moment I woke up in the morning,
dragging my leaden body while thinking, "I don't want to go."

Waking up many times in the middle of the night, or tears coming out for no reason.

Even so,
"I'm not the only one who is weak,"
"Everyone is doing their best,"
I kept telling myself as I kept running.

But, I realized it inside the ambulance.

That the focus of my "doing my best" had, before I knew it, turned toward destroying myself.

That day I was carried in an ambulance,
while looking at the ceiling, I suddenly thought.

Wait, what was it I wanted to protect again?

Income?
Status?
Evaluation?

Of course, all of those are important.

But what I really wanted to protect
was the time spent with my family and
the days where I could be smiling.

The order was just a little bit wrong.

That is why I switched from full-time to part-time.

Honestly, I was very scared.

My income will decrease.
I also worry about what people around me will think.

I was even told it was a "waste."

But continuing the way I was felt even scarier.

What I realized after switching to reduced hours was,

it wasn't so much that I gained more time,
but that I regained a sense of being able to choose.

When you have some breathing room,
you can think calmly.

You can truly listen to your family.
You stop ignoring the signals from your own body.

"Reducing" is not a step backward.

It was a choice made to protect myself.

And what I realized was,

peace of mind
cannot be created through sheer willpower or grit.

If you don't design it, you can't protect it.

Now, I am gradually organizing my life
so that I don't rely on just one way of working.

Instead of just trying hard,
I think about how to protect myself.

The order of things was just a little bit off.

Peace of mind cannot be created through willpower or grit.
To protect your own heart and time,you need to organize through "structure" rather than trying hard based on emotions.

It was only because I collapsed back then that I was finally able to face that.

Just switching to reduced hours isn't enough to keep life running.

How did I resolve the anxiety I faced using "numbers" and organize my pillars of income?

I have summarized the complete blueprint for that in this article.

👉 [True Story] A work design blueprint for 'getting organized' without losing income