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[Definitive Edition] The highly effective 'secret to connecting users' that anyone with courage can do #224

~A matching revolution that connects lonely people around the world~

Good morning.

Today, I'm announcing the new service that has finished its test run.

After reading this article, you'll probably think:

“...Wait, isn't this genius?”
“Actually, this is something that will bring peace to the world.”

Read on with high expectations.


■ The trigger: DMs from beautiful men and women won't stop

Lately, I've been getting so many DMs on my Instagram and X.

“Register for my LINE♡”
“I want to talk about many things♡”
“I want to connect with you♡”

It's incredible.
They completely ignore my own circumstances.

I was moved, realizing that the world is overflowing with people who 'want to connect' like this.


■ So I 'connected them'

People are lonely.
Loneliness is not a sin.

That's why I thought:

“Wouldn't it be great if I connected all the lonely people in this world?”

So I took action.

I took the LINE accounts sent to me in DMs and
sent them to other 'people who want to connect.'

In other words—
matching.


■ However, a strange phenomenon occurs

Even when I give them the LINE account, the other person says this.

"Register for this LINE account instead♡"

Huh?

No, no, just register for the account I just sent you.

Then I reply gently.

"You don't know how to register? Just use the one I sent you~"

And then, what does the other person do?

They send me their LINE account again.


■ And finally, this happens

I send a different account again, right?

And then...

Ghosting
Account deletion
Total disappearance

Wait, what is this?
Was my "matching" too strong?


■ I realized something

In this world—
there are too many people who want to connect.

And for some reason,
they disappear right before they connect.

In other words, this is

a microcosm of modern society where "lonely people" disappear while still being lonely...

*Probably not

■ That's when I became convinced

My matching is
definitely connecting the lonely people of the world.

No, seriously.

Because

  • send a LINE message

  • get a reply

  • send another one

  • they disappear

Isn't this just dating?


■ So, here is an announcement

I recently started a new service.

Its name is—

"Spam DM Mutual Referral Matching"

The content is simple.

■ Business model diagram (scheme of this service)

✅ Service Overview

Just refer the LINE accounts sent via spam DMs to other spam DMs.

✅ Expected Results

  • Lonely people (mostly spammers) can connect with other lonely people

  • A loop will probably form on its own somewhere

  • My heart will feel a little lighter

  • The world will become a little more peaceful (I think)


■ How to use (3 steps)

  1. A handsome man or beautiful woman sends you a 'Please add me on LINE ♡' message

  2. Copy that LINE ID

  3. Paste it to the next handsome man or beautiful woman who messages you

That's it.

You're an operator starting today.


■ Fee

Free.

Actually, I'm just doing this on my own.


■ Precautions (This part is serious)

※Don't actually do this to normal people.
※For suspicious DMs, blocking and reporting is the safest way.
※Please consider this of mine as just 'entertainment' and 'memorial service'.


■ Summary

There are many people in this world who want to connect.
So, I'm connecting them.

From lonely people, to lonely people.

This is
my matching service.

It's a good service, right?


■ Afterword

Since I started the service, the DMs stopped coming.
So I thought my sales skills were lacking, and that's why I made this announcement.

I'm waiting for franchise inquiries.


■ Finally

If you think the illustrations in this article are 'what an idiot lol' or 'funny lol'—
a Like, Follow, or Comment will help me create the next door (it's my staple food).

Support via tips is also very welcome!

#SpamDM #NuisanceMessages #FraudPrevention #PhishingScam #Impersonation #AccountTakeover #InformationSecurity #NetLiteracy #BlockAndReport #PersonalInformation #Essay #Comedy #Joke #Relatable #Experience #Diary #Internet #SNS #Writing #Chat

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