Gentle Memories

Background

(3) Maternal Grandfather

My maternal grandfather. The person I want to see the most.
Like in an old song, "I want to see you, even if it's just in a dream."
He had many hobbies, such as fishing and hunting, and had many friends. As far as I knew, he had a very high forehead, but he often said that when he was young, he had an unmanageable amount of thick hair.

He truly adored me. He was the only person, before or since, who told me I was "beautiful" from the bottom of his heart, and he wasn't lying or just flattering me.
My childhood home was by no means a peaceful household, and there were many suffocating moments. That is precisely why staying at my grandfather's house during summer vacation was a relief.

That grandfather passed away suddenly during my first year as a working adult.
Until then, he hadn't had any particular illnesses and was always energetic and active, but he fell ill around autumn and was hospitalized by the end of the year. He passed away in February of the following year.

At the time, I was living alone in Tokyo, but I returned to my parents' home every weekend to visit my grandfather in the hospital. At first, he just looked a little tired, but as the weeks went by, he grew thinner and thinner, became unable to talk, and eventually stopped recognizing me. Watching that change every weekend was truly painful.

Even after my grandfather passed away, whenever I went to visit my grandmother, the words "Where's Grandpa?" would come to my throat. Even though I understood it in my head, I think a part of my heart couldn't accept it. It took about three years for this feeling to fade.

I still want to see him even now. I often wonder what my grandfather would say in times like these.
I wish I could have shown him my two children.