To You Who Are Well-Regarded but Cannot Feel Confident

You are well-regarded. You have achieved results. People around you say, "That's amazing."

Yet, somewhere in your heart, you never feel at ease. "What if one day, they find out that I'm not really that good?" The more you are praised, the more painful it somehow becomes.

Today, this message is for people like you.

── Why the feeling of "I'm not good enough" doesn't disappear even after achieving results

It is often thought that achieving results leads to confidence. However, there are people for whom the feeling of "I'm still not good enough" never disappears, no matter how much they achieve.

This may not be because you are too humble or lack confidence. It is a well-known state of mind where you "cannot feel that success is due to your own ability."

── Unable to accept success as your own achievement

When things go well, you think, "I was just lucky" or "The timing just happened to be right."

Even though you achieved it through your own efforts, you cannot accept it as your own accomplishment. Therefore, no matter how many times you succeed, your savings of confidence never accumulate. Like a wallet with a hole in it, the recognition slips right through.

── The reason being praised is painful is because you have been forcing yourself to meet expectations

There may be a reason why being praised feels painful.

What if that recognition is the result of you forcing yourself to meet the expectations of those around you? If you feel that it is not the real you, but the you who worked hard to perform, that is being praised—the fear that "it will be over if the real me is exposed" will never go away.

── You can treat your achievements as "facts," not luck

There is one thing I would like you to try.

Try listing your past achievements as simple facts, without explaining them away as "luck" or "coincidence." "I did this," "I was entrusted with that." Place only the facts without adding your own interpretations. As you repeat this, the recognition that was slipping away will gradually begin to remain within you.

── Knowing your "habit of fear" will help you breathe a little easier

If you feel uneasy even when praised, it is likely because you have not yet put your 'habit of fear' into words.

'I get scared the more I am evaluated,' or 'I cannot feel that success is truly mine.' Once you can see that habit, you will be able to take a step back and think, 'Ah, this is that pattern again,' before being consumed by the fear. It is not a question of whether you can or cannot do something, but whether you have an instruction manual for yourself.

If you would like to try putting your strengths and your habits of fear into words, you can start with a free consultation. It is perfectly fine even if you feel like it might not be at the stage where you need to consult someone.

What you can learn from a free consultation and the application process are summarized in this article.
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You do not have to decide right now. Please come back whenever you feel the need.

*This article is not intended for any specific diagnosis or treatment, but is reading material to help you understand your own tendencies and feel a little more at ease.

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