Greetings are a Mirror of the Heart | Becoming Someone Others Want to Greet, Even if They Have to Chase You
I encountered this situation during a management training session.
“I have a subordinate who doesn't greet me when we meet, and I'm struggling with how to interact with them.”
That was shared by a manager in their 40s who had recently transferred.
I told them this:
“Rather than focusing on how the other person acts, let's focus on being the kind of person others want to greet.”
I still remember how their expression softened slightly at those words.
What I have seen over 30 years in training environments is that
a greeting conveys a person's attitude
even before the words themselves.
What is happening when a greeting isn't returned?
When a greeting isn't returned,
many people feel
“Am I disliked?”
or “I was ignored.”
But in reality,
it is almost always the case that the other person is nervous,
didn't notice,
or is unsure how to interact.
Unconsciously, a greeting expresses:
“What kind of relationship do I want to have with this person?”
That feeling shows through.
That is precisely why
there is meaning in continuing to greet them, even if it isn't returned.
A greeting is not a demand of the other person,
but a demonstration of your own attitude.
Greetings convey “attitude” before words
“Good morning.”
It is just a single phrase,
but the impression on the receiver changes completely
depending on the warmth, timing, and eye contact of those words.
A greeting tossed out while looking at a smartphone versus
a greeting said while pausing for a moment and looking the other person in the eye.
Even if the words are the same,
what is conveyed is completely different.
Greetings are
not just about etiquette or manners.
They are also
like a mirror that reflects your own attitude and the distance you keep from others.
Being someone people want to greet
In training and coaching sessions,
I have been reminded of this many times.
In workplaces where relationships are going well,
there is always someone people want to greet.
That person isn't necessarily exceptionally cheerful,
nor do they have a loud voice.
They simply
reach out to others while showing a little bit of care.
That is all.
Someone you would even chase down
to greet is
that kind of person.
A small switch you can flip starting today
Greetings
can be changed starting today.
There is nothing difficult about it.
Look at the other person for a split second,
pause for just a moment,
and say hello.
With just that,
the atmosphere in the workplace will quietly change.
Perhaps human relationships change more from small attitudes
than from great effort.
Thank you for reading until the end.
To Executives and HR Managers
"There are few greetings in our organization,"
"People don't speak up in meetings,"
"Dialogue between supervisors and subordinates has become a mere formality."
If you have such concerns, I will propose how to create a "foundation for dialogue" tailored to your company's organization.
▶ Information on corporate training for executives, leaders, and managers
If you feel like you would like to read a little more,
please take a look at this as well.
A word for today
A greeting is not a demand of the other person, but an expression of the kind of relationship you want to build.
May today be a wonderful day for you as well 🌹
Profile
Junko Kiryu | Communication Trainer
For 30 years, I have stood in training settings for a total of 150,000 people, primarily in corporate environments.
Most instances of "not getting through" are not issues of words, but of attitude.
I deliver those realizations through my articles.
Author of "The Heart's Switch"
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