A Little Break [Optional Extras That Come with a Cervical Cancer Screening] An Old Woman's Monologue—28

The other day, I went for a cervical cancer screening.
Even at my age,
I'm still not great at getting up on the examination table.

Perhaps it's because of "those words"
from when I was in my 20s, which have become a trauma.

In my 20s, when I had my first cervical cancer screening,
I was extremely nervous.

I got up on the examination table,
and of course, I wasn't wearing any underwear.
I was waiting, curled up with my legs pressed together.

The doctor appeared from behind the curtain.
I was already nervous enough,
but my body tensed up even more.
And then, I became even moreknock-kneedas I waited.

To me like that, the doctor said one thing:
"Open your legs wider!"

I knew that, but
I couldn't help but tense my legs.
Then the doctor said in a slightly irritated voice,

"It's not like you're a virgin...

You've even given birth to children!"

I froze at those words, which were so lacking in delicacy.
I don't even remember how the examination ended.
In the car on the way home,

I cried out of frustration.
Of course,

I have never gone back to that gynecologist.

There's no way I would!!Perhaps because of that bitter memory,

I still feel a little nervous at the gynecologist even now.

—

The head doctor at the gynecologist I go to now
is truly kind.
Even during the examination, to help me relax,
he makes small talk.

"Just relax,"
he says to me gently.
Thanks to this doctor,
the screenings are no longer a burden.

A few years ago,
the doctor looked so haggard that
"Are you okay?"
I asked.

Then the doctor began to say,
"My wife is abusing me..."
From there, forgetting all about the examination,

I ended up listening to the doctor's story for 30 minutes,
and in the end, the head nurse scolded us,

"You're taking too long!"Because of things like that,
I have my checkups at this gynecologist every year.

And yesterday, after the examination was over,
I asked about how the doctor has been lately.


It seems his life isn't going very well.

The doctor hung his head.We ended up chatting again.
The head nurse
glared at us again,

looking a bit exasperated.
I hurriedly said,


"Don't push yourself too hard, Doctor."
I patted the doctor on the shoulderand left the hospital.

Come to think of it,
hearing about the doctor's recent life once a year
has become my cancer screening set.The doctor really has had a turbulent life...

Next year, I'm sure

before the examination results,

"Doctor, how have you been since then?"I'll end up asking that...

Even though I moved and it's a bit further away,
I still can't change hospitals.

Is it because I trust the doctor's skills,
or is it because I'm worried about the doctor's life?
I don't even know
the answer to that myself anymore.