The story of how I confided in just one person at work, saying, 'Actually, I write on note.' And the reason why I created a small 'place to belong' 🌿

It was just me and that staff member in the office on a Sunday.
It was quiet outside, and from time to time, the voices of the residents could be heard faintly from the floor. The office, which usually has many people, was empty that day.

I had been hesitating for a long time.

Should I tell her, or should I not?

I had been secretly worried about that staff member lately. That was because I had somehow learned that she had apparently been reprimanded by her supervisor.

And that day, I made up my mind.

“Actually, I... I write on note.”

I had kept it a secret all this time to prevent my identity from being revealed. No one at work knew about this. Even at home, I hadn't told anyone except my wife. That’s how carefully I had hidden it.

But that day, I dared to confide in just one person.

Why did I go out of my way to reveal something I had been hiding? 🤔

I am an occupational therapist in my 16th year, working as a functional training instructor at a special nursing home, and I am an HSP and ISFJ. I have been practicing Adlerian psychology for 13 years and have been present at the end-of-life of nearly 100 people.

Usually, I write about end-of-life care and Adlerian concepts. But today, I want to share something more personal and more honest.

Why did I confide in that staff member about the note I had been hiding all this time?

There is only one reason.

I couldn't think of her situation as someone else's problem.

I have a past where I was verbally abused every day until 11 PM. There was a time when I even thought, 'I have no value in living.' I still haven't forgotten the person who noticed my pain and reached out to me back then.

That is why I couldn't just stand by and do nothing while watching someone quietly wearing themselves out right in front of me.

I hoped that it might make her feel even a little bit lighter.

Thinking that, I offered up the thing I had been 'hiding the most'.

From here on, because I’ve confided in her, her personal matters are involved, so I cannot write about it in detail. But please let me write just one thing.

She read my self-introduction article and empathized with it.

That made me truly happy.

Until now, the only person in my immediate environment who knew about my note was my wife. That is why, in the workplace—the place where it is hardest to show my 'true self'—having even one person who could accept my words made me feel a gentle, warm happiness.

By the way, I wrote about her in an article just the other day. It was a story about how I was being quietly worn down within a circle of office gossip that said, 'That girl is sleeping again.' The 'staff member who falls asleep' in that article is, in fact, her.

To be honest, as I write this now, that article has not yet been published. I could not bring myself to publish an article about her without her consent.

But she told me,

'It is okay for you to publish it.'

I will write it again and again. I was happy.

Having even one relationship where we can accept each other's weaknesses and the hardships of the workplace—how much that lightens the heart. That day, I realized it all over again.

And I thought,

If interacting with me can make someone's heart even a little lighter,

then I want to create a place where I can do that more properly.

A window for when you want someone to listen to you as 'kirinoha' 🪟

Actually, a little while ago, I started something called a membership.

It is called 'Working, Raising, Living,' and it costs 1,000 yen a month. Basically, I created it because I wanted it to be a place where people could consult about their worries.

There is something I want to write honestly here.

I have written 'Consultations are very welcome' in my profile for a long time. In fact, I have received many consultations through comments and DMs.

So, why did I go out of my way to create a 'place'?

It is not quite enough to go to counseling. But I want someone to listen to my complaints for a bit. I want someone to accept my feelings.

—That is because I wanted to be a window for people like that.

In this world, there is certainly a period in between where you are 'not sick enough to go to the hospital, but still struggling.' I was exactly like that myself. On the verge of depression, in the midst of social anxiety. I wanted someone to listen to me, but I kept a lid on my own pain, thinking, 'It is not serious enough to go to the hospital for this.'

If only a place like this had existed back then.

I wanted to create a place where I could feel that way myself.

You can ask me anything. It doesn't even have to be related to me 💬

I believe that any kind of consultation is fine for the membership.

If it's related to me, you can ask about medical issues, anxieties about old age, nursing care, or how to manage a note account. Feel free to ask anything.

But that's not all.

It's also fine to bring up worries that have absolutely nothing to do with me.

In short, whenever you feel a little interested in the person called 'kirinoha' and want someone to listen to you, that's when you can just drop by. That's all I need.

I don't want this to be a place where I achieve something.

I just want to face the person in front of me properly. And I want that person to be able to spend tomorrow with a little more peace of mind. That is truly all I am thinking about.

Moreover, I don't intend for this to be a place I carry on my own.

Actually, right now, I am inviting several people who have different areas of expertise than I do.

If you bring various worries, someone among those with different expertise might have a clue to a solution.

Even for worries that cannot be answered by one person, if the perspectives of several people are gathered, an exit can sometimes suddenly appear. I have long witnessed the power of multidisciplinary teams working together to support a single resident at a special nursing home. That is why I believe in this form of 'bringing things together.'

A loose consultation space where the perspectives of various people gather like that.

I would like to nurture that, little by little.

I will write honestly. It is not at all organized yet 😅

If there is anyone who has read this far and thought, 'Alright, maybe I'll join,' I am truly grateful.

But here, I want to write about where I am right now, without any lies.

This membership is not yet fully prepared at all.

The reason is clear.

I am overwhelmingly short on time.

Right now, I am pouring all my energy into creating paid articles. First, I want to complete the Adlerian psychology series. After that, I want to carefully create practical articles specialized for HSP. What I want to do is still only halfway there.

So, to be honest, I have conflicting feelings inside me.

I want you to come. But, I also want you to wait just a little longer.

I know I'm being selfish. But this is my most honest feeling right now.

Also, there is one more thing I feel is a challenge.

I want to increase my interaction with users on note.

When I publish an article, thankfully, I get likes. That makes me truly happy. But beyond the likes, I still lack the time to exchange words more deeply.

It's not just about one-way broadcasting, but a place where we can properly engage in two-way communication. For me, this membership is the first step toward that.

Therefore, this is not an announcement of a neatly finished service saying, 'It's complete, please enjoy.'

It is closer to an invitation saying, 'It's still under construction, but would you like to help me grow it together?'

It's okay if people wonder, 'What exactly does this person do?' 🌳

After reading this far, some people might have thought this.

'What does this person actually want to do?' or 'Their focus on note isn't fixed on one thing.'

That is exactly right.

I write about end-of-life care. I write about Adler. I write about dieting, HSP, parenting, and playing with AI. And now, I'm even trying to create a place for consultation.

It might look like my focus is all over the place.

But I think that is fine.

In fact, that is exactly the kind of person I aim to be.

A specialist called "kirinoha" who has various axes. Instead of being confined to a single specialty, I want to be someone who has many drawers and opens the one that best fits the worries of the person in front of me.

Yes, I want to be a "jack-of-all-trades," so to speak.

This is something I wrote about before in an article titled "What exactly does an occupational therapist do?" The job of an occupational therapist is to be a rehabilitation expert while looking at a person's entire life, mind, body, environment, and existence. That is why it is incredibly difficult to explain in one word "what they do."

But I am proud of that "jack-of-all-trades" nature.

The membership is the same.

It is not a "consultation center for work," a "consultation center for parenting," or a "consultation center for nursing care." It is all of those things, and it is fine if it is none of them.

A window for a jack-of-all-trades named "kirinoha."

If you can think of it that way, that is the closest description.

If you get lost, I want you to come here 🚶

So, finally, I want to say this.

There is actually no fixed reader profile for the kind of person I want to come here.

HSP people who are exhausted at work. Parents who find child-rearing difficult. People who are lost at a crossroads in life. People who are anxious about their old age.

—Of course, I would be happy if such people came.

But it is not just them.

Anyone is fine.

If you get lost, I want you to come here.

Because I am a jack-of-all-trades. No matter what kind of worry you have, I will first properly accept it. Even if I cannot provide an answer on my own, one of the experts I am inviting might have a clue.

Just like how I confided in that one staff member at the office that Sunday, saying, "Actually, I write on note."

Having someone accept the words you offer. Feeling that they have truly accepted them.

That alone can make a person's heart feel suddenly lighter.

I want to create more of those moments.

It is still a place that isn't quite ready. You might have to wait a little longer.

Even so, if you are currently carrying something you cannot tell anyone, I would be happy if you remembered this small window someday.

Are you currently having your feelings accepted by someone?

Profile

16th year as an Occupational Therapist | Working in special nursing homes/unit care | Former Dementia Care Instructor | HSP/ISFJ | Playing tennis since junior high | Father of a 7-year-old daughter | 13 years of practicing Adlerian psychology | Lost weight from 106kg to 77kg | After experiencing depression and social anxiety, I continue to share insights based on my field experience, having learned to live without medication.

📖 Book: 'How to Work Without Burning Out While Staying Kind'

Hashtags

#Membership #HSP #OccupationalTherapist #WayOfLife #Consultation #PlaceToBelong #AdlerianPsychology #NoteNewYearWriting

Recommended Reading 📚

'That kid is sleeping again'—In the circle of gossip, I was being quietly worn down

What exactly does an Occupational Therapist do? Answering honestly for the first time after 16 years of work

'Until an Occupational Therapist who was berated until 11 PM every day and thought they had no value in living learned to live without medication'

For first-time visitors | A guide to this note for people who are easily exhausted by work