Reflections on Raising a Child with Disabilities

29 years old, severe intellectual disability
Special needs class to high school division of special needs school
Attended three Type B employment support centers
24 years old, moved into a group home
26 years old, regular employment

Supported by many encounters

What I learned from disability

Becoming a parent of a child with a disability made me rethink the word "pitiful"
When I wasn't personally involved, I used to see people with disabilities and think, "They are pitiful, so I should help them"
I was wrong

I realized the prejudices within myself
My parenting began with stripping away my own prejudices

Learning about disability
I inevitably learned about my own child's disability
By attending study groups on special needs education,
as I learned about the characteristics of various disabilities,
they stopped seeming like characteristics and started to seem like "differences," or "each person's own normal differences"

Ways of seeing
Ways of hearing
Hypersensitivity or insensitivity in all senses
Thinking
I had thought my own senses were normal
It was an assumption, I was ignorant
By learning, I came to see it not as a "disability"

When I listened to stories from the individuals themselves,
the difficulty of living was conveyed through their words, expressions, and facial features

For example, there are many forms of calendars
The general monthly week-by-week layout is hard to see
Unless it is laid out horizontally from the 1st to the end of the month, it is hard to understand
Since they don't understand seasonal clothing changes, they change clothes according to the baseball season
People say they can't read the room, but
they feel the atmosphere too much and don't know what to do
Suddenly remembering memories, or laughter or anger overflowing and becoming unstoppable... and so on

The ears of neurotypical people unconsciously filter and listen to necessary sounds
There are people who hear every single sound in their surroundings

Even with visual impairments, the way of seeing is diverse
Even if they can see, they may be sensitive to light, or have difficulty seeing depending on the color

Various people with disabilities and minorities live their lives while being confused and stumbling
They have no academic problems and can do their jobs
Even if they look normal, there are people who carry inconveniences

Disability is not special
I think that if you examine anyone closely, they would fit into some disability label

There is nothing identical in the natural world
Even with plants, although there are species, there are no two that are exactly the same
Naturally, there are no two humans who are the same

Watching the growth of a child with an intellectual disability,
they will never catch up to the level of "normal"
They cannot understand complex things
Their judgment is also shallow and weak
However, there are things they can contribute to society with their own strengths

Society is built on the foundation of people with the ability to move the world,
and it is sustained by everyone supporting each other with their own strengths
Even if you are at the bottom, even if you are weak,
if you can contribute something,
feel joy,
and feel that it was good to be born, then that is enough

If I were a parent who never thought about "disability",
I would have lived for appearances, obsessed with "winning and losing",
and I don't think I would have ever thought about the joy of living

I want to know "my unknown"

Kazuo Hasegawa, a leading expert in dementia care, developed dementia himself
and published a book titled "I Finally Understand Dementia"

I became a parent of a child with a disability, tasted hardship, and came to understand people with disabilities
Having experienced domestic violence, I came to think about women's human rights, the structure of control through violence, and gender issues,
and I came to want to keep thinking about the problems of the vulnerable
I learned through personal experience what cannot be learned no matter how many great books you read

A Kyoto University student laughed and said, "The characteristic of Kyoto University students is that they don't think about other people"
Apparently, they are so full of their own research that no one thinks about others

I have no real ability, I am weak, and I am pushed around by others, but
I can empathize

People are different; there are people you can understand and people you cannot
As Takeshi Yoro explained, there is something like a wall
Language is irrelevant; it is a kind of characteristic
Time spent dealing with people you cannot understand is a waste
I want to use my time to "know my unknown"

Attending lectures in rural towns and neighboring towns
Realizing my own ignorance
Updating my mindset
The world expands and connects
Finding new doors

Professor Susumu Tonegawa, 87, who won the Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine
Currently conducting brain science research at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology
He teaches us that there is no end to learning

"Stay hungry, stay foolish." (Steve Jobs)

People endowed with wisdom spend their lives
Delving into unknown fields of the world, the Earth, and the universe, building new discoveries and theories
Contributing to the possibilities and happiness of future humanity

I want to delve into "my own unknowns" within my small vessel
My biggest research themes right now: "my own heart" and "trauma"
Re-examining my heart while being supported by a counselor
Sorting through trauma
Panic, tears, depression—I am in the midst of clinical practice with my whole being
And "true recovery of the hearts of DV victims," "independence of people with disabilities," "the lives and happiness of siblings," "the independence and final days of parents of children with disabilities"—to "gender issues" and "human rights of foreigners"
Themes that only I can address

By raising a child with disabilities
I was able to receive a treasure that cannot be bought with money and cannot be taken away by anyone
Deep emotion and learning born from suffering

Because I was hurt, I understood "human rights"
Because I raised the vulnerable, I understood "dignity"
I understood the foundation of human beings

While struggling at the grassroots level
I want to live a life that can illuminate a corner of the world