Before "You're doing your best," there were 5 phrases that changed me
Yesterday, I quoted the words of Haben, a deaf-blind lawyer.
Today, I would like to introduce some words that resonated with me as I looked back on my own life.
Haben said, "Disabilities are not things for an individual to overcome."
I think so too. I still cannot see. That has not changed.
I have not overcome anything.
However, there are words that moved me when I was standing still.
They were not "That's amazing" or "You're working hard."
In this day and age, it is considered correct to praise people.
That affirmation is what helps people grow.
I think so too.
However, looking back on my life, it wasn't just kind words that gave me the impetus to move forward.
I would like to introduce five phrases I received from people I met at turning points in my life.
🔥 5 phrases that changed me
1. Only your eyes are bad
I am a totally blind creator.
When something is wrong with one part of you, people become fixated on that one thing.
I was one of those people.
The single negative of "my eyes are bad" had been replaced by words that denied my entire self.
I can't do anything.
Nothing can begin.
I have no value.
Then, this one phrase.
"Only your eyes are bad"
Just seven characters.
It struck me incredibly hard.
But these words gave me the spark to look forward.
Notice what you have now.
I think that was the message.
I can hear. My hands move. I can walk with my legs. I can think.
Except for my eyes, I have everything.
It was the moment my perspective shifted.
2. Do what you must do
These are words spoken to me by a mentor I respected and who supported me with all their might.
When people hear the word "disability," they naturally wrap that person in bubble wrap.
I think that is inevitable, and I think it is a form of kindness.
But this mentor did not wrap me up.
Perhaps it was because they were also a person with a visual impairment.
"Since your eyes are bad, do what you must do."
It was harsh.
But it was the greatest encouragement I could have received.
I was spurred into action from that point on.
If I cannot see, I must design my life assuming I cannot see.
It was because of these words that I was able to make that change in direction.
Even if you worry and fret, time just passes by.
Looking back, those words were a catalyst to accelerate my time.
3. You still have a long way to go
We live in an era of affirmation now.
We must be positive. I think so too.
However, I think it is a different matter whether that applies to everyone.
These words were said to me by my childhood friend.
We were in the same hospital ward from birth. A coincidence that our fathers passed away on the same day.
Such a close friend, knowing my personality, dared to say this to me.
"You still have a long way to go."
These words also spurred me on.
As a result, I was able to reach the world's grand stage.
In this day and age, it is surely a phrase that could not be said.
No, even in the days when I was young, I think it was a phrase that could only be said to specific people.
Hurting people is out of the question.
But because it was said by a trusted companion, it resonated with me.
4. It takes courage to back down
Because I have a disability, I must do my best.
I must keep looking forward.
I was about to be crushed by that pressure.
At that time, someone said this to me.
'It takes courage to step back, too.'
It was a phrase I would never learn at school.
I had the courage to move forward, but I never thought there was courage in stepping back.
It really helped me relax my shoulders.
I felt that it was okay to just be myself.
And this phrase, in the end, became the driving force that moved me forward.
It was precisely because I relaxed that I was able to start walking again.
Whether you have a disability or not, I think there are many people who cannot step back.
5. Able-bodied people are busy too
These are words said to me by my family, the people closest to me.
If I think about it calmly, it is certainly true.
Even people who can see are living with various challenges and difficulties.
When I think of it that way, it sounds like a perfectly natural thing to say.
Myself, as a person with a disability.
Myself, as someone who must rely on support.
However, one day, that turns into habit.
Gratitude fades, and it becomes something taken for granted.
'Able-bodied people are busy too'
It was a very fresh phrase.
I am not the only one having a hard time.
The people around me also have their own battles.
It reminded me of that obvious fact.
🤝 What these 5 phrases have in common
None of these phrases are sugar-coated.
They don't say 'You're doing your best' or 'You're amazing.'
But they have one thing in common.
Every phrase is spoken with me in mind.
They are seeing me as a human being.
And there is one more important thing.
These five people were the ones who usually praised me.
Praise 100 times, scold once.
They didn't just praise me.
They praised me with a basis for it.
Instead of just saying "That's amazing," they specifically acknowledged me by saying, "That thing you did at that time was good."
Because of that accumulation, that single harsh word became medicine instead of a blade.
If I had only been told these words, I think my heart would have broken.
These are words that cannot be said without the right timing and foresight.
People who knew my personality gave me words that suited me.
This is by no means in the context of harassment.
I would like you not to misunderstand that point.
I don't think these words should be used lightly.
But it is a fact that these words changed my life.
☯ There are people who praise, and there are those who don't
In Eastern medicine, there is a concept called relative perception.
Simply put, it means that one thing alone cannot exist on its own.
There is yin and there is yang.
There is cold and there is heat.
There is a front and there is a back.
I think the same applies to how people speak to each other.
There are people who praise, people who scold, and people who stay by your side in silence.
People grow amidst all of that.
Being multifaceted. That is what is normal.
Affirmation alone is not the only correct answer.
Negation alone is not the only correct answer either.
Having worked in jobs involving people for a long time, I feel that strongly.
Where and how someone finds the motivation to rise up is different for everyone.
That is why I think it is important to look at the person right in front of you.
📝 In conclusion
If you are about to say something to someone.
I want you to look at the person.
If you throw harsh words without a relationship, they just become blades.
Some people are moved by gentle words.
Some people are moved by harsh words.
Some people are moved by you saying nothing and just being by their side.
I have been saved by harsh words.
I am by no means strong. In fact, I am weak.
That is precisely why I move forward.
'Only your eyes are bad'
'Do what you need to do'
'You still have a long way to go'
'It takes courage to back down too'
'Even able-bodied people are busy'
None of these are sweet.
But I think they are all wonderful words, filled with thought and weight, a mixture of love and friendship.
📎 Related Articles
After a heavy topic, let's relax a little. This is an article about the surprising commonalities between Eastern medicine and Dragon Ball.
🎬 A video made by a visually impaired video creator
'The person with the cane,' 'the person with the hearing aid,' 'the person in the wheelchair.' We have names. This is 10 seconds filled with the same thoughts I wanted to convey in this article.
#VisualImpairment #Essay #BlindCreator #VoicesOfThoseAffected #EasternMedicine #ChallengeForTheFuture #WhatIWantToTellYouNow