🌱 A Child's Recovery Isn't Determined by the Calendar: A Parent's Mindset Before the New Semester

When we were children, the second semester always started on September 1st, didn't it?

We used to think summer vacation lasted through the end of August, but
these days, don't many schools start their opening ceremonies tomorrow?

“Sigh... school is starting...”

If you aren't feeling excited, I'm the same way.
I'm sure there are many people who feel that way...

The "Thank You" Space for discussing school non-attendance

On August 20th,
we held our monthly X regular Space.

The archive is here👇

I share information on X and note, but
I thought it would be nice to have a time where people could just listen casually,
so I talk for about an hour.

I am joined by Ichika-san.

Just like us,
we talk while inviting guests,
mainly those who have experienced their child's "school non-attendance".

This Space, which I originally started with Noah-san,
is now on its19th session (probably!)

and since I started joining Ichika-san,
it has reached its 11th session. Clap clap clap👏

This time, it was right before summer vacation ended.

It became a session where just the two of us talked deeply,
at a time when parents' feelings are easily shaken before the new semester.

It was our longest ever at 1 hour and 47 minutes!!

To those who listened on the day,
and including the archive, about 100 people
listened in.

Thank you so much🌸

Summer vacation ending... an unsettled feeling

As summer vacation nears its end,
both children who don't attend school and their parents
feel unsettled.

“Will they be able to go to school after the break?”
“Will they be okay in the second semester?” and so on,
you might find yourself having expectations.

But you know, as we talked about in the Space,
a child's emotional recovery does not progress according to the calendar.

Adults have to face various tasks every day
and need to keep their lives moving, don't they?

It's not that every day is dramatic,
but we tend to set milestones according to dates and events.

I think that is surely necessary
for managing progress as well.

In comparison, children are highly sensitive and
are greatly affected by daily events.

What may seem trivial to an adult
often holds great significance for a child.

Children cannot simply start moving
according to a calendar or schedule.

What is important is not the 'milestone',
but the child's own state of recovery.

In reality, the opening ceremony is just one day.
A typical 24 hours where morning comes and night follows.

I feel that fitting a child
into the 'new semester' rule set by adults
is actually difficult to begin with.

The burden on parents is significant.

Why does it make us feel so restless?

During the regular school term,
don't most of you have to call in
if your child is going to be absent?

During the long summer break,
you don't have to do that!!

A month spent adapting to a life where you don't have to rush to make adjustments.

And yet, doesn't the thought of the second semester starting again
honestly make you feel like you just can't stand it?

And don't you feel even worse
about yourself for feeling that way??

When those kinds of feelings well up,
of course your heart is going to feel restless...

◇◇◇

They said they would go yesterday,
but when morning comes, they say, 'I can't go after all.'

Being forced to make sudden absence calls or adjust work schedules,
preparing lunch, doctor's appointments, sudden drop-offs and pick-ups...

If you are a working mom, it can also affect your job, right?

For years, I too felt depressed just thinking about this daily morning battle starting up again.

Personally, I found the period of "intermittent school attendance" even harder than when my child was completely refusing to go to school. 💦

I couldn't make any plans, wondering, "Will they go today? Will they stay home today?" and was truly living day-to-day.

I feel like I was just living on pure adrenaline. 😢

Please, I urge you not to push yourself too hard.

What I especially wanted to convey in this space today is
when your heart feels unsettled, please don't blame yourself for it!
That is what I wanted to say.

If someone asks me, "Are you saying that because you were like that yourself?" I will answer confidently,
"Of course I am!"

Many mothers tend to put their own struggles on the back burner,
thinking, "If my child can go to school even a little bit,"
and end up pushing themselves to do things like driving them to school.

But I want you to think about this carefully.

If your child is truly recovering and is in a state of mind where they can return to school,
they will surely be able to go on their own!

The fact that they need a ride might mean that the child is still pushing themselves a bit,
and that it might not be the right time yet.

So please,don't corner yourself!

Parents are allowed to say, "I can't do this today.".

I want you to spend your time without carrying it all alone and without pushing yourself too hard.

Mothers are human, too.
It's painful and it's tough.

I want to continue sharing these thoughts so that we can all share in that feeling together.

Because I believe that a parent being themselves and valuing themselves
is the shortest path for a child to walk forward on their own with vitality. 😊

May this reach those who need it. ✨

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Ichika-san, who co-hosts the Space with me.
She posted a summary article of the Space 🌸
Thank you as always for the wonderful summary!!

Janet-san has already
written a review article 🥰
Thank you so much!!

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This series is collected in a magazine.

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There are also paid articles
that include personal experiences and go into more depth (partially posted) 👇

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Click here for the site map 👇

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I also post on other social media.
Please check these out too ♬👉　X(Twitter), Instagram, Threads

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In my real-life activities " Kozue no Tsubomi ", besides talk sessions on topics like "school non-attendance" and "developmental differences,"
I also have seminar videos to accompany your "me time"!
(Click the image to link to the website)