My Family's Long-Term Plan for Raising Children Who Can Organize: Elementary School Edition

Hello! I'm ron, a professional organizer who works full-time and lives in a compact apartment in Tokyo with my family of five (5th grader, 3rd grader, and a 3-year-old).
I'm writing this note with the goal of eventually starting a side business related to tidying up.

I want to raise children who can organize. My children have now moved from their preschool days, where I was 'planting seeds,' to elementary school.

Following the first half, the 'Preschool Edition,' this second half covers the 'Elementary School Edition,' involving 'graduating from toys' and 'allowances.'

Click here for the 'Preschool Edition'👇

1. 'Graduating from Toys' and 'Mercari'

At the time of entering elementary school, the way they interact with things changed drastically.
That is, graduating from 'toys'.

I think the timing for letting go of toys varies depending on the child's personality and gender. In our family, my eldest daughter graduated from them quickly, but my eldest son was reluctant, saying, 'I'll keep the Plarail and Tomica for now.'
There was a gender difference, and the timing for graduating from toys was completely different.
(As it turned out, my 3-year-old second son is currently playing with them, so it was the right decision to keep them!)

2. The experience of 'selling'
We gave away the large amount of toys they graduated from to friends, sold them at kids' flea markets, and listed them on Mercari.

Our family rule is that 'the proceeds become the children's allowance.'

Once they experience this, children become quite pragmatic (lol) and start letting go of unnecessary things one after another.

However, the timing for letting go also varies from child to child.
My eldest daughter keeps letting go of games she's tired of on Mercari to buy new ones, but my eldest son is the cautious type, saying, 'I might still play with this...'

When you actually witness your child letting go of toys decisively,
while I want them to let go of unnecessary things,
'That toy was expensive...'
'You just bought it recently, and you don't need it anymore?'
It's a fact that as a parent, I tend to want to nag them.
But here, I have to hold back!

Even parents have experienced 'shopping failures,' like buying something they didn't use or finding it wasn't what they expected.

If I interfere here, the child will worry about the parent's reaction
and won't be able to let go based on their own feelings.

3. 'Presents become your own the moment you receive them'
Whether to keep using or let go of things received as presents is left to the child's judgment.

'I can't let go of it because it was a present.'
This is a common feeling for both adults and children.
I also used to have quite a few things I didn't use but couldn't let go of
simply because they were 'presents'.

'Presents become your own the moment you receive them'Since I thoroughly adopted this mindset,
I've been able to let go of things easily, and now I only carefully select the things I truly need.

4. A 'system' to keep things from getting cluttered and the 'end-of-semester ritual'

Currently, my eldest daughter and eldest son share the children's room.
Their individual storage items are polypropylene cases from MUJI. This is the space where they store their personal belongings.

Rule: The End-of-Term "Total Clear-Out"

Since storage space is limited, at the end of each term, they do a "total clear-out" of their own spaces.
Textbooks, notebooks, and handouts that are no longer needed are disposed of all at once.

After clearing everything out, unnecessary items go into the trash bag, and they simply put back what is needed.
Both of them have become quick at deciding what to keep and what to discard; my eldest daughter, in particular, puts things back in an instant, finishing in about 15 minutes.
My eldest son, who is meticulous and likes to store things neatly, takes about 30 minutes to organize his space.

Because we reset periodically, items never overflow from their respective spaces.

I used to leave the decision of what to discard up to the children, but after a bitter experience where they even threw away newly distributed textbooks, I now check the textbooks for them before they dispose of anything.

5. It's okay if they don't grow up to love cleaning!

I have been raising them with the goal of helping them become children who can organize and declutter, but...

My children are by no means the type who "love cleaning!"

They don't organize or declutter on their own initiative, and if left alone, they will make a mess.
By doing periodic reviews of their belongings together, the children seem happy when they see a tidy, clean room.
I believe they are experiencing firsthand what a "comfortable space" feels like.

Beyond just the skill of cleaning up, it's this sense of "comfort." I want to continue conveying the importance of organizing and decluttering to my children.