[Book Review] After finishing this, I wanted to see my grandmother. (My Father's Lover, My Mother's Adam's Apple: Kaori Hori)
For those who have not yet experienced it, "caring for a dying parent" might be something you can imagine, something you don't want to imagine, or something you simply cannot imagine. That is how I feel about it.
The book I would like to introduce this time is
"My Father's Lover, My Mother's Adam's Apple: Seeing Off the Two Who Parted 40 Years Ago" by Kaori Hori (Kobunsha)
.
What kind of book is this?
Kaori Hori is a writer and shop owner.
This is an essay about her father and mother, their two lovers, and her experience of seeing both of them through their final days.
Hori worked as an editor for the magazine "SWITCH" and is currently active in writing interview articles and book writing.
Furthermore, she moved to Kyoto in 2022 and has been active as a shop owner, opening the "Sake Salon Iki" in June 2024.
This book was published in March 2025 and is Hori's first essay collection.
Why did I decide to read this book?
It was triggered by writerYumi Sato (Satoyumi), who is already familiar in my articles. As she has shared on social media, Satoyumi works as a hostess once a month at "Sake Salon Iki," where Hori is the owner.
I am a woman who took an essay course with the blatant ulterior motive of wanting to meet Satoyumi. I don't drink alcohol at all, but I thought I would like to visit "Iki" someday.
And so, since I was going to visit, I picked up this book to read the writing of the owner, Hori.
Impressions of the book
I wanted to see my grandmother
Since Hori's father lived there, the story mentions Kanazawa. I never thought I would see the characters for "Hikoso" in an essay. Do you know how to read it? The correct answer was "Hikoso." It is near the famous tourist spots of Omicho Market and Higashi Chaya District, the area where my late aunt used to live.
Let me share a personal story.
My mother is from Nonoichi, Ishikawa Prefecture. When I was a child, we often visited her hometown. My grandmother also passed away in June 2024, but she had been in a nursing home in Komatsu for a long time. My cousins also live in the Kanazawa area. The area around Kanazawa is a place I am very familiar with.
My grandmother lost her husband, my grandfather, when my mother was in the fifth grade of elementary school. She had my mother and two older sisters. She was a hard worker. Since the house was a large farm, she raised her three daughters while hiring people to run the farm. It is not hard to imagine how difficult that must have been.
She was a woman of few words, and I remember her smiling while surrounded by many grandchildren during the Obon and New Year holidays. Speaking of impressions, her hair. Even at 80, she had thick black hair. Later, I learned that it was because her eldest daughter (my aunt) who lived with her dyed it beautifully for her.
In her later years, she lost both of her eldest daughters, which left her quite depressed. Because she had been living with my aunt, that event led her to enter a nursing home. With no one left to dye her hair, my grandmother's hair turned completely white. The volume remained thick, and it looked like cotton candy. The home was run by a hospital where my cousin (the daughter of the aunt she lived with) worked, and my cousin took the lead in caring for my grandmother. My mother, who was the only daughter left in the world, would go from Nara to Kyoto Station at every opportunity, using the Limited Express Thunderbird to go see her at the nursing home.
There were two or three times when it seemed like it was the end, but even so, my grandmother lived on. And then, the day after she celebrated her 100th birthday and received an award, she passed away. It was a peaceful end.
I ended up writing about my grandmother at length. It is not entirely because Kanazawa is mentioned in the book. However, Hori's writing made me do it. Reading Hori's writing made me want to see my grandmother so badly.
The theme of this book is the care of one's parents, which at first glance seems dark. Moreover, her father and mother were divorced, and her father's mistresses and girlfriends keep popping up. Just reading this summary, one might think it is a story that would put a daytime soap opera to shame.
However, that is not the case at all; it is a lighthearted story filled with laughter and love. Of course, the struggles of caregiving are also written about, but even so, there is love there. The reason it is not overly sentimental is surely because Hori's personality permeates the writing.
Touched by Hori's love, I wanted to see my grandmother, whom I loved so much. But I can't see her anymore. So, I remember and write. By writing, I felt like I could meet my grandmother in my memories. Surely, Hori was also meeting her mother and father while she was writing.
The gripping prologue and "Yuki-neechan"
The prologue is truly excellent and gripping, so I want you to read it. It is written on the book band, and it is also published on Hori's note, so I will quote it as is.
In the midst of that light, in the middle of a metal steel rack used as a bookshelf, the Buddhist altars of my parents, who divorced over forty years ago, are placed side by side.
On the right is my mother's altar. It was originally inherited from my mother herself, and the ancestral memorial tablets and photos of my mother are lined up. On the left is my father's altar. It is a simple one, with just a small urn containing his Adam's apple and a photo of my father displayed in front of a small oil painting that looks like religious art.
Every morning, I offer water to both, light candles on the altars, and burn two incense sticks. Then, I ring the bell and say something like, "Good morning, Mom. Good morning, Dad. I'll do my best at work today."
For some people, it might be a rather surreal sight. The people themselves probably never imagined that after they died, they would be placed side by side in their daughter's living room.
I can clearly visualize the scene. The photos of her parents lined up in the middle of a steel rack, surrounded by books. I was hooked. This writing has gravity.
Another impressive episode is about "Yuki-neechan."
Yuki-neechan is the mistress of Hori's father (!). After Hori's mother took Hori's younger brother to Tokyo, she later came to pick up Hori and her younger sister, but until then, she apparently lived with her father in Kanazawa.
That was when she met her father's mistress, Yuki-neechan. I braced myself for what kind of grudges would come out, but that was not the case at all. Rather, Hori said she "loved" Yuki-neechan. Episodes from that time are introduced, saying that she was taken care of a lot. This is truly charming writing. It is a good piece of writing that feels like a child's innocence, as well as a little bit of sensuality and sadness. All the writing is good, but I felt a particular charm in this part.
Just the other day, a conversation article between Hori and Satoyumi was published on note. According to the article, this episode of Yuki-neechan was written all at once at the time of the book's publication. Hori interprets that this writing had "freshness." Also, it was her editor who suggested the structure of putting this episode at the beginning of the book. Hearing this, I was captivated by how excellent the editor was.
Summary
By the way, Satoyumi describes Hori like this.
Hori is outrageously good at writing.
She is so good that if it hadn't been Hori writing Kore-eda's book, I might have cursed a little.
I truly respect Hori's writing so much that I asked her to edit my late father's column, thinking she was the only one I could entrust it to.
This book was full of charm that draws people in.
I read a lot of writing by people who are said to be good at writing, and I want to become better at writing. Yes, I think so.
She is in her late 40s, single, a freelancer, and saw both of her parents, who divorced 40 years ago, through their final days. It is a masterpiece written by Hori, who has the strongest perspective.
Please enjoy it for yourself.
Click here for the conversation between Ms. Hori and Ms. Satoyumi.
Click here for the prologue of this book.
Click here for other book reviews.
Click here for the portfolio.