The Dog Spike at the Crossroads of the Six Paths
Epilogue
Running Sounds at Dawn: Imperfect Choices and the Passed Baton
[Synopsis of the Epilogue] The hospital room falls silent after Grandma's harrowing tale of the past. The "memories of weakness and remorse" that 90-year-old Haru has carried for so long deeply shake the heart of her 25-year-old granddaughter, Chihiro, who had been stuck in the maze of modern life. Chihiro, who had been paralyzed by the fear of getting hurt and the desperate need to find the "correct answer" on her smartphone screen to avoid any failure, is moved. Seeing her grandparents' way of life—surviving the turbulent Showa era while covered in mud and accepting their own imperfections—gives Chihiro the "courage to choose." In the city of Kyoto, as the day shifts from dusk to night, what is the first step Chihiro takes?
"...Gods and Buddhas alike know our weaknesses. It doesn't have to be perfect. Let's live our lives together, scars and all."
When Haru finished speaking, the world outside the hospital window was completely enveloped in the deep blue darkness of night. Streetlights flickered on in the distance, quietly reflecting the figures of Haru and Chihiro against the glass.
Chihiro was speechless for a while, staring at Haru's small, wrinkled hand resting on her own knee.
Grandma's slender fingertips, the protruding veins, the faint but warm pulse that could be felt upon touch. This was the hand that, back in that dim tool shop, had once wrapped around Grandpa's trembling hand to wrap that terrifying, rusted dog spike in newspaper together. And this was the hand that had quietly held onto the "indelible memory of sin" for nearly eighty years—the memory of betraying the offerings to the gods and Buddhas out of her own wretched fear, dragging others into her mistake.
"Chihiro."
Haru peered gently into Chihiro's face from under the covers.
"It's gotten so quiet, what's the matter? Was Grandma's old story a bit too scary?"
"No..."
Chihiro shook her head, but her voice was raspy and wouldn't come out properly. An indescribable emotion welled up from deep within her chest, tightening her throat.
Chihiro looked down at her smartphone, which had been left discarded by the side of the bed. The screen was dark. Her own face, reflected in the black surface, looked terribly helpless and frightened.
—I don't want to fail. —Which path is the "perfect" answer for me?
Until just a moment ago, Chihiro's mind had been filled only with that question. Choosing a new job. Deciding her future career. In this day and age, if you open the internet, it's overflowing with phrases like "Job-changing tips to avoid failure" or "Career choices you won't regret." If you open social media, friends of her own generation are competing with dazzling records of success, as if they have been walking a perfect, straight path without hesitation from the very beginning.
Every time she saw that, Chihiro felt like she was suffocating.
If she made even one wrong choice, would she become a "loser"? Would she fall into an irreparable gutter and never be able to crawl back out? It felt as if her entire life was like playing catch on thin ice, where one misstep would cause everything to shatter into pieces; she was so scared, so terrified, that she couldn't move a single finger.
But.
"Grandma..."
Chihiro whispered in a voice that was barely audible.
I feel so pathetic and ashamed of myself. My grandmother and grandfather were on the brink of life and death, staring down the barrel of a gun, yet they still desperately tried to protect each other, covered in mud... And here I am, just worrying about which company offers better 'cost-performance' or which one might be a little easier... I spent hours staring at reviews on my smartphone screen written by who knows who, terrified, just standing still.
Tears spilled from Chihiro's eyes, wetting the back of Haru's hand.
I was afraid of getting hurt. I was deathly afraid of making a mistake and having regrets. I was so afraid of being too late that I became unable to move forward or backward, stuck in the middle of a crossroads of information. But that... compared to the weight my grandparents carried, that's really just a trivial, luxurious worry, isn't it?
Haru gently wiped away the tears Chihiro had shed with the pad of her calloused thumb. Her touch was surprisingly gentle and warmly enveloping.
Chihiro, there is no such thing as a trivial worry in this world. To you, your current hesitation is your whole life. That is only natural. ...But, there is only one thing I want to tell you.
Haru looked straight into Chihiro's eyes. Deep within those pupils resided an unfathomable power of 'life'—the power that had survived the turbulent Showa era, the scorched earth of the postwar period, the years spent desperately living as a tool dealer, and the nightmare of that crossroads of the six paths.
We betrayed our offerings to the temple. We were truly shallow, weak humans who couldn't believe in the Buddha until the very end. Neither your grandfather nor I were perfect heroes. We made choices full of mistakes and lived our lives carrying scars and guilt that would never fade until the day we died.
Haru paused for a moment and looked up at the hospital ceiling. It was filled with remorse and, even more deeply, a quiet forgiveness.
But, Chihiro. God and the Buddha never abandoned us, even as we lived on, covered in mud, carrying our wounds. The morning sun doesn't just shine on perfectly righteous people. It shines equally and warmly on cowards who make mistakes, run away, and cry. No matter how many times a person makes a mistake or runs away... as long as you are alive, you can start over again. You can start walking again, as many times as you need.
...Start walking again, as many times as I need?
That's right. Life isn't so fragile that one wrong step ends it all. That morning, your grandfather and I shared all of each other's weaknesses and began to walk, carrying half the burden each. There is no such thing as a perfect answer anywhere in this world. So, Chihiro. Close your smartphone and tread the mud with your own feet. It's okay to make mistakes. That is where your path begins anew.
Haru's words seemed to light a warm flame in the coldest part of Chihiro's heart.
There was never any 'correct answer' that would guarantee no failure from the start. Even if you make a mistake, fall into a ditch, and get covered in mud, there is someone who will carry that mud with you. Just as her grandparents had lived, leaning on each other in their imperfection.
Chihiro exhaled slowly. The suffocating feeling that had been tightening her chest vanished as if it were a lie.
...Yeah. Grandma. I'm going to stop looking at my smartphone. No, I mean... I'm going to stop trying to get it to tell me the answers. From now on, even if I have my smartphone, I won't be lost anymore. I'll move forward on my own feet and decide for myself.
Chihiro picked up the smartphone from the bed and gently tucked it deep into her bag. In the dark glass where the screen had gone black, she felt she could see not the frightened figure from before, but her own eyes looking slightly ahead.
Chihiro took Haru's hand once more, this time gripping it firmly and strongly.
I'll decide for myself. No matter which way I go, it'll surely be tough... but if I make a mistake, I'll just get covered in mud and start walking again. After all, I'm Grandma and Grandpa's granddaughter.
Haru narrowed her eyes with satisfaction and chuckled like a young girl.
That's right. You are the granddaughter of that vain but kind Genzo. What is there to be afraid of in making mistakes? Go ahead and move forward, even while you're lost.
When she left the hospital room, the hallway was filled with the silence of the night. Chihiro stepped out of the hospital entrance and took a deep breath of the Kyoto night air.
The cold autumn breeze felt pleasant against her flushed cheeks.
Looking up at the dark night sky, the darkness that connects the ancient world of the dead to this world still lay quietly in the direction of Rokudo no Tsuji. However, there was no longer any fear in Chihiro's heart.
As Chihiro began to walk toward the station, a sound reached her ears—distant, yet clear and powerful.
—Clatter, clatter, clatter...
It was not the rumbling of the vengeful spirits that had once struck terror into her grandmother and the others. It was the sound of a train running at dawn, cutting through the dark night and racing powerfully along the rails toward a new morning. It was the sound of a train continuing to advance into the future, carrying the weaknesses, the love, and the will to survive of imperfect human beings.
Chihiro smiled slightly, gripped the strap of her bag tightly, and took a firm step into the streets of Kyoto at night.
('The Dog Spike at Rokudo no Tsuji' All Four Chapters/Epilogue Complete)
📖Chapter 4: https://note.com/juicy_laelia8513/n/n342c8058c0a9
📖 Chapter 1: https://note.com/juicy_laelia8513/n/n194fc5c77d7c
🌐 English Version: https://note.com/ttukumoo/n/n97f7db091415