For those who think 'It might all be my fault' | 10 questions to notice your habit of blaming yourself

'It might all be my fault'

Have you ever felt that way?

・When someone is in a bad mood, you think it might be your fault
・When trouble occurs, you suspect yourself first
・After saying no, you feel strong guilt
・Even when praised, you cannot accept it honestly

Even when you haven't made a major mistake,
you find yourself looking for the cause within yourself before you know it.

There are by no means few people who have had such an experience.

But in fact,

this is not a personality issue, but rather
a reaction you have acquired while living your lifein some cases.

When people grow up in an environment where they cannot feel safe,

・Reading people's moods
・Avoiding conflict
・Blaming oneself to protect relationships

they may acquire such methods of adaptation.

This check is

a self-check to notice your habit of self-blaming thoughtsfor you.

It is not a diagnosis.
It is not something to evaluate yourself with.

It is simply,

'Why do I blame myself so much?'

a small check to find hints for that.

Self-blame tendency check

While thinking about yourself recently,
please look at the ones you feel 'apply to you to some extent'.

1. When trouble occurs, you suspect yourself first

2. When someone makes a displeased face at you, you look for the reason within yourself

3. You feel strong guilt after saying no.

4. You tend to think, 'If I just endure it, everything will work out.'

5. Even when praised, you cannot accept it gracefully.

6. You dwell on failures for a long time.

7. You feel responsible for other people's moods.

8. You are prone to regretting, 'I could have done more.'

9. You prioritize being 'right' over your own feelings.

10. Even when you are doing nothing, you feel somewhat restless.

Guidelines for results (reference)

0 to 2 items

Your tendency to blame yourself may be relatively low.
However, it can manifest strongly depending on your environment.

3 to 5 items

You may have a tendency to prioritize those around you.
It is possible that you have chosen to 'adapt' within your relationships.

6 to 8 items

You have a fairly strong tendency to blame yourself.
The background of your difficulties in life may gradually become clearer.

9 to 10 items

You have a very strong tendency to blame yourself.
But if you have noticed it, it is possible to change.

Note: A higher number does not necessarily mean there is a problem.
It is also proof of how desperately you have adapted to your environment until now.

The reason you think 'It's my fault'

The more you blame yourself,

You are more considerate than others
You value relationships more than others
You endure more than others

often.

Even when trouble occurs,

rather than thinking 'the other person is at fault',
thinking 'might the cause be with me?'

by doing so,

you may have been trying not to break the relationship.

That is precisely why,

when things continue to go wrong,

'I should have tried harder'
'My efforts were not enough'

you may end up feeling.

But in reality,

that is

not a sign of your weakness, but a reaction to having adapted to your environment

in many cases.

A perspective I want you to cherish

Everyone has different

ways of keeping distance from others,
ways of feeling secure,
and ways of protecting relationships

that are different.

For example,

people who try to avoid conflict,
people who try to prioritize others,
people who try to maintain the atmosphere of a place

These reactions may have

been acquired as an adaptation to protect relationships

that you have developed.

They are not flaws.

They are

necessary

emotional reactions

that you have needed throughout your life so far.

There is no need to blame yourself.

Even if you feel

that many of these apply to you

after taking this check,

it does not mean

that your character is weak.

Rather,

it may be the result of all the effort you have made to protect your relationships with others until now.

To the next step

In this note,

・Self-blaming thoughts ・The influence of relationships with parents ・High sensitivity ・Habits in how you receive and understand information

and so on,

I am organizing the psychology behind the difficulty of living.

The difficulty of living is not a sign of your weakness.

Understanding how the mind works will gradually change how you see things.

What this check will tell you

Even if many items in this check apply to you,

that

does not mean there is something wrong with you.

Rather,

・You have been considerate of those around you
・You have made efforts not to break relationships
・You have valued other people's feelings

People who have had such experiences
may find that these items apply to them.

The reaction of blaming yourself is,

often not a weakness, but an adaptation.

It is often just that.

What is important is,

not to keep blaming yourself, but to
understand the meaning of your reactions.is.

Once you understand that,

・How to keep distance from others
・Boundaries to protect yourself
・How to build relationships without overextending yourself

will become easier to find little by little.

There are 4 entry points to the difficulty of living

In this note, I organize the background of the difficulty of living
broadly from 4 entry points.

Everyone experiences difficulty in living differently.
However, when you look at the background, there are several common patterns.

If any of these resonate with you,
please try reading that article.

1. Self-blaming thoughts

When something happens,

the type who thinks
'It's my fault''I'm no good'

is this type.

2. High sensitivity

The type who strongly picks up on other people's emotions,
and gets tired without realizing it.

▶ For those who get tired of other people's emotions | 10 questions to notice your tendency toward sensitivity

3. Influence of the relationship with parents

My parents were kind.
Even so, for some reason, it was painful.

There are people who carry that kind of feeling.

▶ For those whose parents were kind, yet still felt painful | 10 questions to notice your relationship with your parents

4. Cognitive habits

Even though you are trying your best, for some reason, things don't go well.

There are also people who get tired despite their efforts.
Perhaps that is not due to a lack of effort,
but rather 'how you use your cognition' might be involved.

▶ For those who try hard but things don't go well | 10 questions to notice your cognitive habits

The reason for the difficulty in living is not just one of these,
but sometimes several of them overlap.

If any of these interest you, please try reading the other articles as well.

How to read this note

If you feel like,

・Why is life so difficult?
・How can I make things a little easier?

and you want to organize your thoughts a bit more.

In this note,

I have compiled articles that organize the background of life's difficulties from a psychological perspective.

I have summarized where to start reading in this definitive guide article.

▶ [Definitive Guide] "Mental Recovery Guide" to untangle life's difficulties | How to read this note

For those who want to understand themselves a little better

This article is a
"Self-check for beginners."

If you feel like,

・I want to organize my thinking habits a bit more
・I want to know why I get tired so easily

then I have also prepared a free self-check on my official LINE account.

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Recommended as a "first step toward self-understanding."

・3-minute check
Understand your thinking habits

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1-week LINE consultation
30-minute Focusing session
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👉 Click here to register for the official LINE (completely free)

*You can take the check immediately after registering
*There are no sales solicitations

Finally

Even if you feel that
"many of these apply to me" after taking this check,

that is
not a sign of your weakness.

It may simply be the result of having worked very hard
to adapt to your environment until now.

I hope this check

serves as a trigger to shift
from a perspective of blaming yourself to one of understanding yourself.

I hope it helps you take a step back.

#DifficultyLiving
#SelfBlame
#Psychology
#SelfUnderstanding
#ForThoseWhoTryTooHard
#SelfCheck