You don't have to force yourself to change your way of thinking | Untying the knots of the heart with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

When days go by where things don't go well,

I have to change the way I think.

Sometimes, you might corner yourself like that.

It's better to think positively.
It's better not to worry too much.
It's better to take things more easily.

In your head, you think that.

But, especially when you're struggling,
there are days when it's hard to change your way of thinking.

When you're full of anxiety.
When you're feeling too down to move.
When someone's words won't leave your head.
When the voice blaming yourself won't stop.

The more you try to think positively,
the more painful some days can become.

At times like that,
it's okay not to blame yourself further
for not being able to change your way of thinking.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is not a way to force yourself to be positive.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is
not a method for forcibly changing your way of thinking to be positive.

It is a method for looking at what is happening in your heart
by breaking it down little by little.

For example,
suppose you greeted someone at school or work,
but there was no reply.

If you look only at the event that occurred,

I said hello.
There was no reply.

That is the situation.

But, in your head,
various words might come to mind.

Did they dislike me?
Did I do something wrong?
Should I stop talking to them?
Was I a bother?

Depending on the words that come to mind,
your mood also changes.

You feel anxious.
You feel sad.
You feel embarrassed.
You feel angry.

Sometimes, reactions also appear in the body.

Your chest feels tight.
Your stomach feels heavy.
Your shoulders tense up.
You become unable to sleep.

Your behavior will also change.

Stop talking to them from the next day.
Avoid the other person.
Check your smartphone repeatedly.
Keep ruminating on things by yourself.

In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy,
we look at not just the events that occurred,

events
words that come to mind
mood
bodily reactions
behavior

and examine them separately.

The purpose of looking at them separately
is not to blame anyone.

It is to realize that
there was a valid reason for your reactions.

It is fine whether behavior comes first or thoughts come first.

When your way of thinking changes,
your behavior may change.

When your behavior changes a little,
your way of thinking may also change.

Therefore, there is not just one starting point.

On days when you have the capacity to examine your thoughts,
try writing down the words that come to mind.

On days when you feel like you can move,
try changing your behavior just a little bit.

For example,

Go outside for just 5 minutes.
Drink a warm beverage.
Wait until the next morning to think about a reply.
Take a little distance from posts that make you feel distressed.
Send a short message to someone you trust.
Write your feelings on paper before going to sleep.

Small actions
can cause a slight change
in the vicious cycle of the heart.

Even if there are days when you cannot change your way of thinking,
it is okay.

You do not need to blame yourself
for not being able to change your way of thinking.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is
not a method for correcting your way of thinking.

When you are feeling distressed,
it is a tool
to help organize what is happening inside your heart together.

A small exercise you can do today

Only if you feel you can,
please try it gently.

Try to recall one situation
where you felt a bit distressed recently.

On a piece of paper or a memo,
try writing it down in the following order.

1. What happened

2. What thoughts came to mind

3. How you felt

4. What physical reactions occurred

5. What actions you took

It is fine to only write down the items you can.

There is no need to fill everything out perfectly.

Just by looking at things separately,
a small space can sometimes be created within your heart.

It is okay if you don't force yourself to change.

Start by simply noticing.

Not to blame your heart,
but to make your heart feel a little more at ease.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
can also be such a gentle starting point.

When it is difficult to organize things on your own

I tried writing it out, but
it made me feel even more distressed.

I can't quite find
the right words.

I blame myself
in the same situations over and over again.

When I get anxious,
the same thoughts keep spinning around in my head.

At times like that,
it's okay not to carry it all by yourself.

By organizing the movements within your heart
together with someone else,
your perspective might change a little.

Even if things don't change immediately,
you will gradually learn how to handle your own heart.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
can be a gentle gateway for that.

It's okay to have days where you can't change your way of thinking.

Before blaming yourself,
try looking at what is actually happening.

Starting there is perfectly fine.

For those who read this article and felt they would like to organize their heart a little more, I will be developing spaces like this in the future.

🌿 A place where you can safely organize your heart

Moving forward,
using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy as a gateway, I will be developing sub-accounts where you can safely organize your heart, categorized by themes such as:

Self-blame,
Anxiety,
Relationships,
Attachment,
Pre-dependency,
Parenting

I will be developing sub-accounts where you can safely organize your heart,
categorized by themes.

I want to make this a place that not only delivers peace of mind,
but also leads to action, little by little.

🌿 Click here for the sub-account

This is a place I will be growing little by little from now on.
Please feel free to follow so you can find it when you need it. 🙇‍♀️

This is my first post today. 🥰

On this account,
I will continue to write while valuing daily insights, psychology articles, projects, and interactions as always.😌💞

On my sub-account,
I will create a place like a notebook that is easy to read by topic of concern.😌🫶

Thank you always for your support.💖
I am grateful.🍀

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